God Granted Him His Wish
His Last Walk88 total reviews
Comment from RebelRose
This is so touching and beautiful.
Really good rhyming scheme and rhythm. Good flow.
This is a very good entry for this writing prompt contest.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2011
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This is so touching and beautiful.
Really good rhyming scheme and rhythm. Good flow.
This is a very good entry for this writing prompt contest.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2011
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Thank you so much RR for your wonderful kind words, you're a peach and I appreciate it very much. Bill
Comment from chita
Your author notes are superb-you have good imagery and a good flow with your poem-you rhyme well and you are descriptive-you have written a very emotional poem and when I began to read it I was drawn into your poem--I am sorry about your Dad and I especially like the line(As he laid there and stared up to heaven-so many thoughts raced through his mind) this line is a powerful statement that all of us will go through one day--great job.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2011
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Your author notes are superb-you have good imagery and a good flow with your poem-you rhyme well and you are descriptive-you have written a very emotional poem and when I began to read it I was drawn into your poem--I am sorry about your Dad and I especially like the line(As he laid there and stared up to heaven-so many thoughts raced through his mind) this line is a powerful statement that all of us will go through one day--great job.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2011
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Thanks Chita for your gracious review and you're right. This is something we will have to face when our time comes. Have a great day. Bill
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Cedar ....
What a beautiful story you have in this well-written poem and what makes it so special is that it is based on your own family story. You must have so many fine memories, not only about the farm on which you have lived all your life but also of your parents and particularly your Dad who was devoted to the land and his life as a farmer.
There is just one small change to suggest ...
* You have - As he laid there and stared up to heaven ..
I suggest - As he lay there and stared ...
Thank you for sharing this with us and, as it is a Contest entry, I wish you well.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2011
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Hullo Cedar ....
What a beautiful story you have in this well-written poem and what makes it so special is that it is based on your own family story. You must have so many fine memories, not only about the farm on which you have lived all your life but also of your parents and particularly your Dad who was devoted to the land and his life as a farmer.
There is just one small change to suggest ...
* You have - As he laid there and stared up to heaven ..
I suggest - As he lay there and stared ...
Thank you for sharing this with us and, as it is a Contest entry, I wish you well.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2011
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Thank you Nanette Mary for your great review and suggestion. I do appreciate it very much. Have a great day. Bill
Comment from Terry wrote
Bill, this is such a strong, sentimental story of a man's dreams and the wishful writing of a dedicated son. I'm sure he likes your tale's ending. Thank you for sharing this story.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2011
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Bill, this is such a strong, sentimental story of a man's dreams and the wishful writing of a dedicated son. I'm sure he likes your tale's ending. Thank you for sharing this story.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2011
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Thank you Terry for your heart warming words. Have a great day. Bill
Comment from Fireshadow
Bill, this is an exceptional, poignant write - and excellent entry for the Tell A Story In A Poem writing prompt contest. I'm sure it will be a top contender, and probable winner, in the competition. Great imagery and rhyme scheme make it a very enjoyable read. Perfect color and artwork presentation. My best wishes for a win, my friend.
Ama
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2011
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Bill, this is an exceptional, poignant write - and excellent entry for the Tell A Story In A Poem writing prompt contest. I'm sure it will be a top contender, and probable winner, in the competition. Great imagery and rhyme scheme make it a very enjoyable read. Perfect color and artwork presentation. My best wishes for a win, my friend.
Ama
Comment Written 12-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2011
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Thank you Ama for all those stars, I certainly do appreciate it. I think that I am more pleased that you enjoyed it. Again, I think you my friend for your wonderful review. Have a great day. Bill
Comment from SWANNY
Nicely written poem/story, but sad. :( You did a great job telling a story in the form of a poem, and you did a nice job of making me care about the character. I have no suggestions for improvement. Well done.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2011
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Nicely written poem/story, but sad. :( You did a great job telling a story in the form of a poem, and you did a nice job of making me care about the character. I have no suggestions for improvement. Well done.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2011
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Thank you for your review and have a great day. Bill
Comment from l.raven
Sad but with a sweet story behind it.Your father died young.65.Way to young.I loved the story.I think we all hope to pass on our own land.Wow 66 years.That's a long time.Love the poem.And the picture is just perfect.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2011
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Sad but with a sweet story behind it.Your father died young.65.Way to young.I loved the story.I think we all hope to pass on our own land.Wow 66 years.That's a long time.Love the poem.And the picture is just perfect.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2011
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Thanks my friend for your kind words. Have a great day. Bill
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Bill,
Although quite sad I love this story written in good poetic style. You chose the perfect picture which serves to enhance the words. You have a lovely rhyme that serves to allow the lines to slip down the page with ease. You have an uplifting ending which eases the sadness well. Good luck in the contest....chey
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2011
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Hi Bill,
Although quite sad I love this story written in good poetic style. You chose the perfect picture which serves to enhance the words. You have a lovely rhyme that serves to allow the lines to slip down the page with ease. You have an uplifting ending which eases the sadness well. Good luck in the contest....chey
Comment Written 12-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2011
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Thanks Chey, I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Have a great day. Bill
Comment from Magpiemazy.
What a charming and sad picture you have painted. We farmed and my dad, too, loved the soil. He died in his own home, in the state of Alabama that he never wanted to leave. Sadly, it was by his own hand.
Hugs,
Maggie
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2011
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What a charming and sad picture you have painted. We farmed and my dad, too, loved the soil. He died in his own home, in the state of Alabama that he never wanted to leave. Sadly, it was by his own hand.
Hugs,
Maggie
Comment Written 12-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2011
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Thanks Maggie for your review. So sorry to hear about your Dad. If he was a farmer, he surely was a hard working man and I know you miss him. Take care of yourself. Bill
Comment from Laurie Clayton
Bill, this is a wonderfully moving
story in memory of your Dad. I'm sure
that this was How he had planned to go
if he'd been given the choice.
Wonderful imagery and emotion woven
throughout.
Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2011
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Bill, this is a wonderfully moving
story in memory of your Dad. I'm sure
that this was How he had planned to go
if he'd been given the choice.
Wonderful imagery and emotion woven
throughout.
Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2011
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Thank you Laurie for your great review, I do appreciate it. Have a great day. Bill
