Questions
short contest entry about life24 total reviews
Comment from C'est Moi
I like this short poem, quite a bit. My only suggestion would be that you look at the last two lines. The second to last speaks about pieces that don't fit, and feeds into the last line which seems to be about questions. A little re-wording there could make that flow better and make the poem a little more cohesive. Still, I think it's good the way it is. The point about 'you don't know until it's over' is very well made.
reply by the author on 31-May-2011
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I like this short poem, quite a bit. My only suggestion would be that you look at the last two lines. The second to last speaks about pieces that don't fit, and feeds into the last line which seems to be about questions. A little re-wording there could make that flow better and make the poem a little more cohesive. Still, I think it's good the way it is. The point about 'you don't know until it's over' is very well made.
Comment Written 26-May-2011
reply by the author on 31-May-2011
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read & critique my poem. I will go in and take a look at those last two lines.
thanks again - sherry
Comment from adewpearl
tumultuous - I love multi-syllable words like this that add so much to the flow of a line
Your poem is in 4 lines and 25 syllables, so it is in good naani form
at time's end - add apostrophe
I like the alliterative pairing of deep/dreams, too :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 19-May-2011
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tumultuous - I love multi-syllable words like this that add so much to the flow of a line
Your poem is in 4 lines and 25 syllables, so it is in good naani form
at time's end - add apostrophe
I like the alliterative pairing of deep/dreams, too :-) Brooke
Comment Written 02-May-2011
reply by the author on 19-May-2011
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Thanks so much, Brooke, for taking the time to read and critique my naani. Sorry its taken me so long to reply - I haven't been on site much lately. I'll try to do better in next month.
hugs - sherry
Comment from Linda England Bonam
I liked your Naani poem. It was well written, and well received. I read your profile and see that you are from central Texas! I lived North of Austin for almost 7 years, on Lake Travis. I am now back in Indiana, but I have always missed Texas!
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
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I liked your Naani poem. It was well written, and well received. I read your profile and see that you are from central Texas! I lived North of Austin for almost 7 years, on Lake Travis. I am now back in Indiana, but I have always missed Texas!
Comment Written 09-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
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Hi Linda - thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my poem, QUESTIONS. I was born between San Marcos & San Antonio, moved to Austin at 3 months and lived there for most of my life (18 months in Ohio & the last 3-1/2 yrs about 3 hours NW of Austin. I miss Austin badly, even though I go see my kids about once a month or so.
Again - thanks for reading - sherry
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You are very welcome!
Comment from Kingsland
Question that awaken dreams and in turn dreams the awaken questions. I enjoyed this rather short poetic rendering. It was well written and a very enjoyable verse to have read and written a response for... John
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
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Question that awaken dreams and in turn dreams the awaken questions. I enjoyed this rather short poetic rendering. It was well written and a very enjoyable verse to have read and written a response for... John
Comment Written 09-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
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Thanks, John, for taking the time to read and comment on my poem, QUESTIONS.
Glad you enjoyed it - sherry
Comment from Aglovale
An interesting, introspective poem that uses the metaphor of life's mysteries as a puzzle to be solved, or a story to be read, the ending a twist and an elusive answer. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
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An interesting, introspective poem that uses the metaphor of life's mysteries as a puzzle to be solved, or a story to be read, the ending a twist and an elusive answer. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment on my poem, QUESTIONS.
Glad you enjoyed it - sherry
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'Questions' is a well-written and thought-provoking piece. As I've observed over the years there are so many questions that don't have answers. It was a pleasure to review a work of this caliber.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
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'Questions' is a well-written and thought-provoking piece. As I've observed over the years there are so many questions that don't have answers. It was a pleasure to review a work of this caliber.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment on my poem, QUESTIONS.
Glad you enjoyed it - sherry
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sherry, you're more than welcome.
Kindest wishes, the Duchess
Comment from Yeti777
Love the poem and its depth. It doesn't appear to have a particular philosophy in mind, leaving the check mark to be placed by whichever box the reader wishes. Great job.
Sean
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
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Love the poem and its depth. It doesn't appear to have a particular philosophy in mind, leaving the check mark to be placed by whichever box the reader wishes. Great job.
Sean
Comment Written 09-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment on my poem, QUESTIONS.
Glad you enjoyed it - sherry
Comment from Rose Hearth
The artwork gave this a real sense of 'waxing philosiphical', as they say. I like the way you sum up the futility of pondering life's questions "answered only at time's end."
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
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The artwork gave this a real sense of 'waxing philosiphical', as they say. I like the way you sum up the futility of pondering life's questions "answered only at time's end."
Comment Written 08-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment on my poem, QUESTIONS.
Glad you enjoyed it - sherry
Comment from taravan
Your flow is wonderful. Filled with great imagery my favorite line is tumultuous dreams. You have done a really great job with this Naani. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
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Your flow is wonderful. Filled with great imagery my favorite line is tumultuous dreams. You have done a really great job with this Naani. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read and review my poem, QUESTIONS.
Glad you enjoyed it - sherry
Comment from Aletheia
Yes, there are so many mysteries in life that go unanswered. Your poem is in good form and your artwork is superb. Good luck! B :)
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
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Yes, there are so many mysteries in life that go unanswered. Your poem is in good form and your artwork is superb. Good luck! B :)
Comment Written 08-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2011
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment on my poem, QUESTIONS.
Glad you enjoyed it - sherry
