A Lily Most Pure
we know not the hour or the day28 total reviews
Comment from N.K. Wagner
This is a beautiful, comforting story that's bound to bring great hope to a great many people. There's a market for this in any number of Christian magazines. The writing quality is certainly good enough, and the length should make it quite marketable. Well done. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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This is a beautiful, comforting story that's bound to bring great hope to a great many people. There's a market for this in any number of Christian magazines. The writing quality is certainly good enough, and the length should make it quite marketable. Well done. :) Nancy
Comment Written 09-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Hi, Nancy. I am especially thrilled with your review, given the superior quality of your own writing skills. I also appreciate the suggestion to consider seeking publication! Many thanks for your support and interest.
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Go to the Christian Writers Market in the library, or (I'm guessing) on-line. This is definitely good for a sale. :) Nancy
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Thank you so much, Nancy. Gosh, you really warm my heart with your interest. I do belong to Faithwriters - another writing site with a Christian emphasis. I will definitely look at that as a possibility. Best regards, Bev
Comment from closetpoetjester
Gosh I really hope its like this Bevver. A very sombre write and it was a sad scene you painted in the hospital. It felt quite surreal for a minute for me as I have my own memories of my dad in a terminal bed while we waited for him to die. I remember not wanting to leave the room until the inevitible happened. I also never dreamed about my dad until he died. The funny thing is in my dreams, I knew he couldn't stay with us..and because he was sick, but he never looked sick in my dreams and my last visions of him were as a very frail, gaunt and jaundice ridden and most of all sad, human being. It was horrible. This is why I feel maybe there could be something after it all. Plus I think I already told you we have had a couple of strange things happen after he died.
A very "now" write and I found many parallels, except for the vision of him when he actually died. I saw nothing I am sad to say. I possibly would have been a little freaked out if I had. I do have an extremely wierd photo from my wedding that I can't explain and I am sure the haze is some sort of presence, namely my Dad.
Anyway, I am getting off track Bev, this was a very good write and I like the way your short stories pack a punch.
Well penned.
Cheers Closet xoxo
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Gosh I really hope its like this Bevver. A very sombre write and it was a sad scene you painted in the hospital. It felt quite surreal for a minute for me as I have my own memories of my dad in a terminal bed while we waited for him to die. I remember not wanting to leave the room until the inevitible happened. I also never dreamed about my dad until he died. The funny thing is in my dreams, I knew he couldn't stay with us..and because he was sick, but he never looked sick in my dreams and my last visions of him were as a very frail, gaunt and jaundice ridden and most of all sad, human being. It was horrible. This is why I feel maybe there could be something after it all. Plus I think I already told you we have had a couple of strange things happen after he died.
A very "now" write and I found many parallels, except for the vision of him when he actually died. I saw nothing I am sad to say. I possibly would have been a little freaked out if I had. I do have an extremely wierd photo from my wedding that I can't explain and I am sure the haze is some sort of presence, namely my Dad.
Anyway, I am getting off track Bev, this was a very good write and I like the way your short stories pack a punch.
Well penned.
Cheers Closet xoxo
Comment Written 09-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2011
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Hi, closet. I think it's really a beautiful thing that your dad has tried to let you know he is still around when you need him. I, particularly, am touched by the way he tried to be a part of your wedding photos. That seems, to me, to be of his style, to do something subtle. My own vision of my mother came many years after her death. Of the folks I've been blessed to communicate with after death, my mother has never been one. But when I saw that vision, I knew that we have blinders on in this world. That, for whatever reason our limited ability to see is really like St. Paul says, like looking into a mirror. After I saw that vision, I knew that there was a great adventure waiting for me on the other side and it has helped me tremendously ever since. I really appreciate you taking time to read the story, closet. Your support continues to take my breath away! What a lovely friend you are. Hugs.
Comment from angel123
I enjoyed reading your story. It was very emotional, moving and touching. It held my attention and you selected great artwork. I have no suggestions for any changes. Good luck in the contest.
Angel123
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2011
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I enjoyed reading your story. It was very emotional, moving and touching. It held my attention and you selected great artwork. I have no suggestions for any changes. Good luck in the contest.
Angel123
Comment Written 08-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2011
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Thanks, angel123. I really appreciate your excellent review and interest. Thanks, also, for your good wishes!
Comment from missy98writer
Bev,
your flash fiction is very well written. Your descriptive writing and dialogue are great. I like your title A Lily Most Pure. In a minimum amount of words for a maximum effect you established a setting, conflict, and a resolution to your story. In flash fiction watch out using too many adjectives. It's hard to trim the fat. I enjoyed your character having an epiphany form the lines: "The air was thick with scent of flowers and the sun was directly overhead in a clear blue sky." What a moving ending had me mist up with many tears. Your story is moving and an excellent example of flash fiction. Good luck in the contest. Your art work is lovely.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Bev,
your flash fiction is very well written. Your descriptive writing and dialogue are great. I like your title A Lily Most Pure. In a minimum amount of words for a maximum effect you established a setting, conflict, and a resolution to your story. In flash fiction watch out using too many adjectives. It's hard to trim the fat. I enjoyed your character having an epiphany form the lines: "The air was thick with scent of flowers and the sun was directly overhead in a clear blue sky." What a moving ending had me mist up with many tears. Your story is moving and an excellent example of flash fiction. Good luck in the contest. Your art work is lovely.
Melissa.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Thank you, Melissa. Your review was supportive and technically very helpful to me. I love the challenge of writing flash fiction, and hope to continue to refine my writing of it. Your review helped along those lines with your insights. Thank you very much. Best wishes!
Comment from eliz100
This is a powerful, hopeful story in so few words. It was a good read from beginning to end. The descriptions of the garden and house are wonderful.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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This is a powerful, hopeful story in so few words. It was a good read from beginning to end. The descriptions of the garden and house are wonderful.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Thank you so very much for your awesome review! I really appreciate your interest and support very much. Blessings.
Comment from Paula Andrea Pyle
This is such an emotionally moving write. I am taken back by the necessity of your words which describe the agony but sheer release associated in your precious vision.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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This is such an emotionally moving write. I am taken back by the necessity of your words which describe the agony but sheer release associated in your precious vision.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2011
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Hello, my friend. What a lovely review, here. Thank you for taking the time to read the story and let me know your thoughts. I really appreciate your support.
Comment from moyramouse
A story which could have been so tragic but for the vision the mother had of her daughter, which gave it an uplifting finish. If we believe there is life after death then we are assured of meeting our loved ones again. My husband saw my grandfather when we went to stay at my great aunt's house. He came and stood at the foot of his bed and looked at him and then smiled and disappeared. It was much later when he saw a photo of my grandfather that he went white and told us what had happened. I reckon my grandpa was checking him out:):) I enjoyed reading this post and I wish you luck in the competition.xxmouse
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2011
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A story which could have been so tragic but for the vision the mother had of her daughter, which gave it an uplifting finish. If we believe there is life after death then we are assured of meeting our loved ones again. My husband saw my grandfather when we went to stay at my great aunt's house. He came and stood at the foot of his bed and looked at him and then smiled and disappeared. It was much later when he saw a photo of my grandfather that he went white and told us what had happened. I reckon my grandpa was checking him out:):) I enjoyed reading this post and I wish you luck in the competition.xxmouse
Comment Written 05-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2011
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Hi, moyra. Thank you for so much for your wonderful review and sharing your husband's experience. Glad he passed muster with your grandfather (hehe). I so appreciate your heart-warming support and good wishes. Warmest regards.
Comment from sweetsilversong
This was such a well written flash fiction story.
Your personal experience is evident with words penned with much thought and feeling Bev.
Good luck in the contest.
Best wishes.
SSS
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2011
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This was such a well written flash fiction story.
Your personal experience is evident with words penned with much thought and feeling Bev.
Good luck in the contest.
Best wishes.
SSS
Comment Written 05-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2011
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Hello there! What a nice review; and I appreciate your words of support very much, SSS. Thanks for taking the time to stop by. Warmest regards, my friend.
Comment from vickib
Hi Bev, this made me get all teared up. I think it's true that sometimes people know a loved one has died just like you describe or similar things like this. I've watched three people in my life take their last breath, my brother, my husband and my mother and I'll tell you you can feel the power of life at that moment and for a time after. My father on the other hand died in a car accident when I was a child but I had this weird feeling that day and remember asking my mom where he was. So this touched me and it is written so real it feels true. OH I just read your authors notes now. Yes and that reminds me later that night after my mother died I felt something playing with my hair and I jumped up thinking it was a bug but then it happened again two more times and I think I really knew it was her. That's the only time anything like that has happened to me, you don't forget it though. Alan my husband got the heck outta here haven't felt his presence at all ever. I feel good about that too. LOL! :) XO
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2011
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Hi Bev, this made me get all teared up. I think it's true that sometimes people know a loved one has died just like you describe or similar things like this. I've watched three people in my life take their last breath, my brother, my husband and my mother and I'll tell you you can feel the power of life at that moment and for a time after. My father on the other hand died in a car accident when I was a child but I had this weird feeling that day and remember asking my mom where he was. So this touched me and it is written so real it feels true. OH I just read your authors notes now. Yes and that reminds me later that night after my mother died I felt something playing with my hair and I jumped up thinking it was a bug but then it happened again two more times and I think I really knew it was her. That's the only time anything like that has happened to me, you don't forget it though. Alan my husband got the heck outta here haven't felt his presence at all ever. I feel good about that too. LOL! :) XO
Comment Written 04-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2011
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Hi, Vicki. What lovely words to wake up to. I agree with you about the experience of being with someone while they are leaving their physical body. I used to volunteer at the local Hospice House. It was an experience that I value and cherish to this day. What a fascinating thing it is when someone who has died touches you in such a tangible way - I'm so happy you had that experience especially since you have had so many unfair losses in your life. Events, like yours make it impossible, in my opinion, to deny that energy suvives eternally. I know I talk a lot about heaven in my writing, but I think the human perspective is far too limited for the real wonder of what is waiting for us. We have the perspective of ants, really, when it comes to that. Sorry to wax philosophical for you. Heading downstate to see my dad who has been admitted to the hospital. So, your lovely note and gesture are, once again, for timely and comforting. You know you are psychic, right? We all are! Love ya buddy and thanks again for the great review. Hugs, Bev
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No your my hero! So happy you are going to be with your dad. Your a lucky. Be sure to rest too. XO Vicki
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I'll try Vicki. It's my stepmother whose pooped out. Hope to give her a little break. Love ya, Bev
Comment from Just Alyx
Wonderful entry, Bev. Probably one of the toughest forms of grief is to lose a child and you captured it well, especially with acceptance at the end. Very realistic and poignant. It's a sad write, but enjoyable and inspirational. All the best in the contest, I reckon it'll do well. Cheers for the touching read. Alyx.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2011
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Wonderful entry, Bev. Probably one of the toughest forms of grief is to lose a child and you captured it well, especially with acceptance at the end. Very realistic and poignant. It's a sad write, but enjoyable and inspirational. All the best in the contest, I reckon it'll do well. Cheers for the touching read. Alyx.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2011
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Hello, Alyx What a touching and inspiring review! I really appreciate your insights on my entry. There are always lots of excellent submissions, so I'll keep my fingers crossed. But the story holds personal significance for me and reviews like yours make it all worthwhile! Warmest regards.
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You're welcome. My fingers crossed for you, too.
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How sweet. Blessings!
