Comment from fafa

Excellent

I love the recognized works, because one insures himself of reading something that really isworth while, greetings and congratulations for the marvelous work

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 05-Sep-2014

Hi, FAFA. Thank you for choosing to read my chapter. I really appreciate that and your encouragement. Warm regards, Bev

Comment from irishauthorme

Exceptional

Wow, this is great! Don't know how I missed this the first time around, perhaps before I knew you? The prologue with the murder of the poor, elderly chambermaid by an arrogant Charles really set the scene and made the Paranormal Team more authentic.
Great writing, good dialogue, and tingling tension.
I will follow this!
irish

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 05-Sep-2014

Hi, Irish. Thank you so very much for choosing to read my chapter. I so appreciate your warm encouragement and very generous review. Glad to know you liked it! :) Bev

Comment from flylikeaneagle

Excellent

Writing: Written very well with history and people. I like the trance medium talking and calming the spirit. I like your setting and the people...so hungry for pizza. Good character writing and congrats on the award. Keep me posted.

I once cleaned a house, no one wanted to come near the house. The lady had 38 cats in the house, 18 dead in the garage, yes, it smelt. I didn't want to touch anything. People with masks didn't want to clean the house. I got the job, new to town. Found out later that she had unclean spirits shaking her bed and raising her bed at night. She died in the house. I cleaned every inch, cat pea everywhere. But, I had chlorine bleach to spray onto the walls so now it smelt like a swimming pool. I played the radio on David Jeremiah, talking about Jonah in the whale. I felt that I was in the whale but I had Jesus.
Made $900 in two weeks and painted the walls. After this, I prayed in every house I entered.

Soli deo Gloria!
flylikeaneagle

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014

Thanks so much for sharing your fascinating encounter, F. There's no doubt in my mind that energy is attracted to like energy and negativity can remain like a mold, attached and reeking. I really like that you have such faith and spunk. Yes, I call in angels, Jesus and Mother Mary when I'm occasionally bothered.

Great to hear from. I appreciate your awesome review. :) Bev

Comment from Mystic Angel 7777

Excellent

This is very well done. I like how you start out with the actual chain of events which triggered the haunting and provide just enough background information to get the reader engaged and involved. Nicely done and I look forward to reading more.

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014

Hello, MA. Thank you so much for this gracious review! I'm glad you shared your insights regarding the chapter's opening - that's so very helpful. Warm regards, Bev

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

You had me believing that TAPT was a real organization--your imagination is so fertile and your own experiences provide you with terrific material. The dramatic action at the beginning of the story certainly grabs our attention. Charles' reverence for his tools in contrast to his insensitivity to human life is striking. Your bits of French add to the realism too. Cheers- Joan

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014

Hi, Joan. Thank you so much for checking out my new/old novel and for your grand review. I so appreciate your encouragement and support, my friend.

Hugs, Bev

Comment from Adri7enne

Excellent

"I'll not tell you anything, "VOUS DIABLE",

That's awkward. I don't think you can translate that directly. That syntax doesn't exist in French. Just DIABLE! would give the closest to that translation.

"His ultimate vengeance WAS launched with a dinner party ...." Insert WAS.

Interesting premise, Bev. Your crew of paranormal investigators sound like youngsters from the dialogue. Good start, Bev.

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014

Thanks, Adrienne. They sound like youngsters? Can you be more specific. The (was) got removed because Rama Devi said it wans't needed.

I appreciate you stopping by.

reply by Adri7enne on 04-Sep-2014

Perhaps the way Luke says, "sweet" and "skedaddle", and the way the female character crosses her arms and taps her foot? Little things that sound juvenile?

Rama and I don't always agree, although I admit to being impressed with her reviews also. Without the 'WAS', "Ultimate revenge" becomes the subject of "launch" as an active verb. I'm not sure it can be used that way. But again, that's up to you and okay with me whatever you decide.

reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014

Okay, thanks for clarifying, Adrienne. I appreciate your insights.

:)

Comment from robina1978

Excellent

I read part of your book years ago but not this chapter. It is thrilling,scary even. I did not see any SPAGS. Are you going to publish it?

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014

I don't know about publishing it, Ine. Just trying to keep my writing going on the site while I edit my last book.

Thanks so much for stopping by. I appreciate it.

Bev

Comment from Patrick G Cox

Excellent

Hi writingfundimension,

Dear Charles, sounds like so much fun, such a nice chap. One trusts that the story will unfold with his meeting a suitably grewsome end himself.

Good build up to the actual ghost chase.

Patrick

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014

Hi, Patrick. I very much appreciate your review and insights. Thanks for your time and encouragement. :) Bev

Comment from GracieAnn

Excellent

WFD, this is a well written write with believable dialogue and reactions of the players. The suspense is palpable. Thank you for having the list of players and words at the end of the story. Well done. :0 GracieAnn

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014

Thank you, Gracie Ann. I appreciate you stopping in to read this piece and your generous review. Warm regards, Bev

Comment from Cumbrianlass

Excellent

Well, when you originally posted this, I wasn't even a member. I seem to remember coming in later in the story. In any case, I'm so excited to be given an opportunity to follow it through from the start.

Great opening. Bellingham is a real monster, and you depict his evil so well. I think you and I, Bev, have this buried 'darker' side that tends to come out in our writing. Wicked! LOL!

The transition to present day is flawless, and I just LOVE the premise. As you know, I adore all the ghost hunting stuff. It totally fascinates me. This team are already well characterized.

The ghost? Brilliant. I got the chills. Superbly portrayed.

I nit-picked a wee bit:


Stepping to a full-length mirror, Charle()s admired his taut,


The speaker was Emma Barlow, an attractive blond(e) - she's female.

She turned her attention to the petite brunett()e - an extra 't' slipped in there. :)

L(i)ke the other members of the team,

granite(-)gray eyes in Emma's direction.


So pleased you've reopened this. I'm on board with both feet.

Love Av

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014

Hi, Av. I do agree that we both know how to weave in that dark side in our stories... and I think we both pull it off pretty well :) I'm saving a six for your chapter, BTW.

Thanks for the spag check. I swear I went over this chapter with a fine-toothed comb and I still missed things. But then I realized that I didn't have to settle for the 'tiny' print that comes when I try to transfer my files and can actually enlarge the screen!! DUHHHH

So, appreciate your insights and support. Glad you're keeping on eye out for me, my dear friend. Thanks for the grand review.

Hugs, Bev

reply by Cumbrianlass on 03-Sep-2014

Always a pleasure, Bev. x

reply by the author on 04-Sep-2014

Thanks, Av. :))