The Glass Cat Eye
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Madame Reece Meets Dr. Connelly"Talking to the dead has its consequences
38 total reviews
Comment from driven
Hi! I enjoyed this story. THe story seemed really good, and I found it interesting. What you reveal of the chracters was good. Not too much, but enough. THe dialogue was good; I could picture it happening. I really thought this had potential, which is why I gave it a four with all of the mistakes. Gerat job!
Connelly's Light brick mansion>light brick
"Oh, how interesting." Reece said, and shook his hand>....how interesting," Reece said
the early nineteenth century." Dr. Connelly continued>needs a comma, not a period
"Very well Reece. Can I have >Very well, Reece.
"Universal Psychic Conference, It's world-wide.> Needs a period if the It's is going to be capitalized. Not sure which way you were going with this sentence in that regard.
"You mean it's that many Psychics in the world?">Is the character speaking in slang? Otherwise IT's that many doesn't make sense...should be are since there's more than one
"That may change." Reece said regretfully.
>comma, not period
afraid of," doc interrupted, "people trusting you."
>Doc
ignorance, you say?' Doc interrupted>needs double quotes
"Listen," Reece continues, "do you know how many cases, I>continued
By contacting the dead and have them tell me who killed them...."
>having them tell me
Hahahahaha", doc laughed hysterically>Doc
"Hahahahahahahaha" Doc couldn't help himself.
>needs a comma
quiet luxury street onto the hectic highway>luxurious might be a better word
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Hi! I enjoyed this story. THe story seemed really good, and I found it interesting. What you reveal of the chracters was good. Not too much, but enough. THe dialogue was good; I could picture it happening. I really thought this had potential, which is why I gave it a four with all of the mistakes. Gerat job!
Connelly's Light brick mansion>light brick
"Oh, how interesting." Reece said, and shook his hand>....how interesting," Reece said
the early nineteenth century." Dr. Connelly continued>needs a comma, not a period
"Very well Reece. Can I have >Very well, Reece.
"Universal Psychic Conference, It's world-wide.> Needs a period if the It's is going to be capitalized. Not sure which way you were going with this sentence in that regard.
"You mean it's that many Psychics in the world?">Is the character speaking in slang? Otherwise IT's that many doesn't make sense...should be are since there's more than one
"That may change." Reece said regretfully.
>comma, not period
afraid of," doc interrupted, "people trusting you."
>Doc
ignorance, you say?' Doc interrupted>needs double quotes
"Listen," Reece continues, "do you know how many cases, I>continued
By contacting the dead and have them tell me who killed them...."
>having them tell me
Hahahahaha", doc laughed hysterically>Doc
"Hahahahahahahaha" Doc couldn't help himself.
>needs a comma
quiet luxury street onto the hectic highway>luxurious might be a better word
Comment Written 28-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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house
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Thank you for reading and giving suggestions. I made the changes. I'm puzzled, though, about putting a comma between "Very well and Reece. Can you explain that more. Also Luxury street, like luxury yacht, or luxury hotel.
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As far as I understand it, you ploace a comma before a person's given name, or even a title: Yes, Sir. Hi, Sam. IF you say so, Mike. et cetera. Okay, I get what you're saying about the Luxury street, amahra. It sounds weird to me. I've never heard of people calling anything a luxury street. Probably just me!
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Ok, I'll put the comma there; I just needed to know. Luxury street just means that everything on it is expensive, houses, etc. If I say luxurious street, than I'd be talking about the street. And I'm not talking about the street. Thank you for your Hawk eyes. If you remember any more changes, please let me know. I appreciate you.
Comment from adewpearl
his fourth snicker bar - Snickers bar
Excellent description of setting creates mood well
I hope you didn't mind my being so inquisitive. - add period
I'm really impressed with you, Reece - add comma for direct address
Don't be so impressed with me, Doctor Connelly - add comma
You do an excellent job of conveying the emotions and attitudes of speakers in your dialogue. Brooke
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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his fourth snicker bar - Snickers bar
Excellent description of setting creates mood well
I hope you didn't mind my being so inquisitive. - add period
I'm really impressed with you, Reece - add comma for direct address
Don't be so impressed with me, Doctor Connelly - add comma
You do an excellent job of conveying the emotions and attitudes of speakers in your dialogue. Brooke
Comment Written 28-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Thank you so much. I made the corrections. Just so you'd know, Part III and Part IV has been written and ready for posting. PartII was just too long, so I cut it down.
Comment from WilliamDeen
Good story. Look forward to part three. The story, characters, and dialogue is interesting. The reads well and moves forward at a good pace. Two things.
You wrote: "Oh, not at all, MS Weatherbee."
Should it be?" "Oh, not at all, Ms. Weatherbee."
You wrote: "You mean, you guys know each other?" Reece chuckled at Doc's surprise."
Need to remove the quotation marks from the end of the sentence.
Good Work!
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Good story. Look forward to part three. The story, characters, and dialogue is interesting. The reads well and moves forward at a good pace. Two things.
You wrote: "Oh, not at all, MS Weatherbee."
Should it be?" "Oh, not at all, Ms. Weatherbee."
You wrote: "You mean, you guys know each other?" Reece chuckled at Doc's surprise."
Need to remove the quotation marks from the end of the sentence.
Good Work!
Comment Written 28-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Oh thank you for reading, reviewing, and correcting. I really appreciate it. I will make those corrections. Blessings to you.
Comment from MizKat
Amarha - Wow this is a good chapter of your book. I enjoyed every word of it. I wouldn't mind reading more of it when it comes out. Bravo on a job well done. Kat
One tiny error:
Steven looked on curiosly(curiously)- forgot the 'u'.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Amarha - Wow this is a good chapter of your book. I enjoyed every word of it. I wouldn't mind reading more of it when it comes out. Bravo on a job well done. Kat
One tiny error:
Steven looked on curiosly(curiously)- forgot the 'u'.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Thank you Kat. It's not a book. I Wish! lol I'm not there yet. But it is a short story. You may be happy to know that Part III and Part IV has already been written and ready for posting if Part II goes well. And I will make that correction.
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Too bad, it would make a good book. Maybe you can keep writing and make it into one. Kat
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi amahra,
This is a gripping story and one I am glad I found. Due to your informative lines in the beginning I was able to catch up. I am very intrigued with this well written story and am looking forward to the next chapter. You have believable characters and I liked the conversation between them. Well done. Blessings, chey
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Hi amahra,
This is a gripping story and one I am glad I found. Due to your informative lines in the beginning I was able to catch up. I am very intrigued with this well written story and am looking forward to the next chapter. You have believable characters and I liked the conversation between them. Well done. Blessings, chey
Comment Written 28-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Thank you Chey. I shorten it for my readers. You might be happy to know that Part III and Part IV is already written and ready for posting.
Comment from Cheryl Daphine
Excellent writing,really takes you in.I think Steven will become a 'believer',if these happening's continue.As far as I can see[from only reading this one chapter],you do good character development,and carry your storyline through. I would definitely give your book a read.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Excellent writing,really takes you in.I think Steven will become a 'believer',if these happening's continue.As far as I can see[from only reading this one chapter],you do good character development,and carry your storyline through. I would definitely give your book a read.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Thank you for reading; I know it's a lot, but I was hoping it was worth your time. Read PartI; if you're interested; it's not as long and it will fill you in. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Chris Tee
Excellent write!!! I find it a very intriguing.I just could not stop reading and accelerated the further I read. The twist in the tail seems inevitable.
I look forward to part three.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Excellent write!!! I find it a very intriguing.I just could not stop reading and accelerated the further I read. The twist in the tail seems inevitable.
I look forward to part three.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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Thank you Chris.
Comment from MaryMeadid
The Glass Cat Eye- Part II was an interesting read. You have a great imagination and it shows in your writings. There are a few grammar problems and I'm the worst to point this out because I make a lot of the same mistakes. But in areas it is hard to read. Re-read and check your commas. Nice part II and I will read you again.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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The Glass Cat Eye- Part II was an interesting read. You have a great imagination and it shows in your writings. There are a few grammar problems and I'm the worst to point this out because I make a lot of the same mistakes. But in areas it is hard to read. Re-read and check your commas. Nice part II and I will read you again.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2011
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You have to tell me where they are so I can fix it. That's what others have done here.
Comment from Veekz
Yay!!! I have been waiting for this installment since December! But I can't believe you're making me wait for part three now! Lol :)
I like how the story has followed through with Reece being sent by the board of psychic's and I'm very interested to hear what it was that caused the panic with Steven in the basement - my heart was pounding away reading that part!
Once little fix up:
"Not really. I went to one of her seances. I don't believe in that nonsense, but I attended to convince my friend that she was nothing more than a phony. But I failed.
-end speech mark missing
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Yay!!! I have been waiting for this installment since December! But I can't believe you're making me wait for part three now! Lol :)
I like how the story has followed through with Reece being sent by the board of psychic's and I'm very interested to hear what it was that caused the panic with Steven in the basement - my heart was pounding away reading that part!
Once little fix up:
"Not really. I went to one of her seances. I don't believe in that nonsense, but I attended to convince my friend that she was nothing more than a phony. But I failed.
-end speech mark missing
Comment Written 27-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Man! I don't care how much I fix this thing, I still miss something. Thank you for you hawk eyes. And thank you for reading. It's so long that not too many people are reading and I really need the feed back if I'm going to publish it. Thank you so much for reading and I will fix what you suggested. Bless you my friend.
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More then welcome. As I said, I've been waiting so long for this, you big tease lol, and so was very excited to see the title in my inbox this morn! :)
Comment from K. L. Bauman
Nice, creepy ending! Love the story and your characters. There were a few punctuation bloopers here and there, but nothing too serious. Keep up the great work.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Nice, creepy ending! Love the story and your characters. There were a few punctuation bloopers here and there, but nothing too serious. Keep up the great work.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2011
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Hey, you've got to tell me where they were so I can fix it. But thank you for your reading it and for your review my friend.
