Forever Mine
a twisted tale of jealousy16 total reviews
Comment from closetpoetjester
Nice little short story Bev and you covered a fair bit of ground in only 146 words my friend...short and sweet and the tale of a jealous pregnant ex who has it in for the current squeeze. I liked how you just bowled in with this and it unfolded in just a few words. A sad and sorry end to poor innocent Tessa. Should it perhaps not have been the two timing ar*ehole, that speck on the horizon though, that should have had his gizzards and spleen cut out?
Me thinks YES! LOL
Excellent short horror story. Had me quaking in my boots! hee hee
Cheers Closet xoxo
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Nice little short story Bev and you covered a fair bit of ground in only 146 words my friend...short and sweet and the tale of a jealous pregnant ex who has it in for the current squeeze. I liked how you just bowled in with this and it unfolded in just a few words. A sad and sorry end to poor innocent Tessa. Should it perhaps not have been the two timing ar*ehole, that speck on the horizon though, that should have had his gizzards and spleen cut out?
Me thinks YES! LOL
Excellent short horror story. Had me quaking in my boots! hee hee
Cheers Closet xoxo
Comment Written 26-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2011
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Hi Closet. Naturally I lost the contest to Ron. I love him and razz him quite regularly, so I told him I'm going to check to see what contests he enters BEFORE I enter anymore. I love writing the flash pieces, so I probably won't be quitting anytime soon.
I really appreciate you taking so much time to review my recent efforts, Closet. This story was fun to write and I have a soft spot for it in my heart, so I am very happy to see that you enjoyed its creepiness! You're the best! Warmest regards, Bev
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Always a pleasure.
Closet xoxo
Comment from Cletus Hardiman
A very nice write and I loved the pic that you chose to accompany it! I cannot add anything that would make this any better. It is already the best! :) Clete
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2011
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A very nice write and I loved the pic that you chose to accompany it! I cannot add anything that would make this any better. It is already the best! :) Clete
Comment Written 22-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2011
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Hiya Clete. Wow, thank you for the really great review. I'm so happy you liked the story! Much appreciated...Bev
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You are quite welcome, my friend... Clete
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You are welcome, my friend..... Clete
Comment from Mari_
I enjoyed reading this short flash fiction story. It leaves me with so many questions. I was not expecting "As burning steel rips open her intestines..." What a suprise! Very good job!
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2011
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I enjoyed reading this short flash fiction story. It leaves me with so many questions. I was not expecting "As burning steel rips open her intestines..." What a suprise! Very good job!
Comment Written 22-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2011
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Thank you so much Mari_ for your wonderful review. I really appreciate you taking time to read and send your supportive thoughts about it. Warm regards.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great job writing this story about the woman who wanted the man and the child, i wish you the best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2011
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this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great job writing this story about the woman who wanted the man and the child, i wish you the best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2011
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Thank you so much sweetwoodjax. Your words are very encouraging and I much appreciate your good wishes.
Comment from misscookie
I LOVE THE ARTWORK
IT IS PERFECT FOR YOUR AWESOME WRITE
This STORY HAD ME ON THE EDGE OF MY CHAIR.'
YOU HAD MY ATTENTION FROM THE FIRST LINE TO THE END
THERE WAS NEVER A DULL MOMENT.
GOOD WRITE GOOD LUCK.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2011
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I LOVE THE ARTWORK
IT IS PERFECT FOR YOUR AWESOME WRITE
This STORY HAD ME ON THE EDGE OF MY CHAIR.'
YOU HAD MY ATTENTION FROM THE FIRST LINE TO THE END
THERE WAS NEVER A DULL MOMENT.
GOOD WRITE GOOD LUCK.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2011
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Thanks lovely lady. I really appreciate that you took time out today to read my tale. Your support is very generous and much appreciated. Best regards.
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Your very welcome, have a nice day.
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You too!!
Comment from cheyennewy
Oh my gosh, Bev, this is a stunning story. You should have entered it into the Horror contest as it would have won hands down! The end was a complete surprise which every author aspires to do but not all accomplish it as well as you have done here. Excellent. Well worth six stars. Blessings, chey
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2011
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Oh my gosh, Bev, this is a stunning story. You should have entered it into the Horror contest as it would have won hands down! The end was a complete surprise which every author aspires to do but not all accomplish it as well as you have done here. Excellent. Well worth six stars. Blessings, chey
Comment Written 21-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2011
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Gosh, you've got me blushing chey. I am so honored by your great review and stars. I'm finding I really love the short pieces. They are very challenging, just like the Japanese short poetic forms. You have really made my day and put a big smile on my face. Blessings...Bev
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I am so glad!
Comment from adewpearl
Billy, where are you - add comma for direct address
Oh, what a horrific ending - burning steel rips open her intestines - as the baby is ripped out - how gruesome!!! A truly creepy horror story within the strict word limits of this contest. Brooke
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2011
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Billy, where are you - add comma for direct address
Oh, what a horrific ending - burning steel rips open her intestines - as the baby is ripped out - how gruesome!!! A truly creepy horror story within the strict word limits of this contest. Brooke
Comment Written 21-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2011
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Thanks so much Brooke. I appreciate you pointing out that SPAG! I'm not so much into horror, so I thought I would push the limits with this one. Therefore, I especially appreciate your encouragement for the effort. Warm regards.
Comment from Caeric il produttore
Not bad, decently written, but the characters feel flat and the ending comes out of nowhere. Not a bad read, but it has potential to be better...
Il Produttore - My $.02
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2011
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Not bad, decently written, but the characters feel flat and the ending comes out of nowhere. Not a bad read, but it has potential to be better...
Il Produttore - My $.02
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2011
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Interesting opinion.
Comment from The Stranger
A woman scorned in love takes her revenge in devastating fashion against the woman she believes has stolen away her Billy, as the child looks on in horror
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2011
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A woman scorned in love takes her revenge in devastating fashion against the woman she believes has stolen away her Billy, as the child looks on in horror
Comment Written 21-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2011
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Thanks for your review Stranger. I appreciate you taking the time! Best regards...Bev
Comment from Laurie Clayton
A grusome end indeed for our poor
Mother, I wonder how the child was not hurt also.
Jealousy is a mighty powerful and negative enery
to be gripped by.
Well written with ease of flow.
Good luck with the comp.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2011
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A grusome end indeed for our poor
Mother, I wonder how the child was not hurt also.
Jealousy is a mighty powerful and negative enery
to be gripped by.
Well written with ease of flow.
Good luck with the comp.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2011
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THanks so much LC. I appreciate your kind review and the time you took to read and send it along. Your good wishes are also appreciated.
