Shana's Valentine
A Love Story48 total reviews
Comment from x-cheshire-puss-x
It was truly, absolutely excellent. You used gorgeous and vivid descriptions, which made for a fabulous story. I very much enjoyed reading it!
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2011
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It was truly, absolutely excellent. You used gorgeous and vivid descriptions, which made for a fabulous story. I very much enjoyed reading it!
Comment Written 16-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2011
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Wow! Thank you so much, I truly appreciate your wonderful review and generous six star rating. I am thrilled. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
A VERY GOOD WRITE,and a wonderful story so romantic. Bills and boon couldn't do better. A very exciting story and imagery. Thanks for sharing with me.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2011
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A VERY GOOD WRITE,and a wonderful story so romantic. Bills and boon couldn't do better. A very exciting story and imagery. Thanks for sharing with me.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2011
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Thank you, Cookson2, for those kind words and generous review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from bayoupoet
This is a wonderfully well written story. I am so glad it had a happy ending. The imagery is so vivid and it told such a remarkable love story! Well Done!
sandra
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2011
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This is a wonderfully well written story. I am so glad it had a happy ending. The imagery is so vivid and it told such a remarkable love story! Well Done!
sandra
Comment Written 16-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2011
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Thank you, Sandar, for those kind words and generous review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
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You are very welcome!
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
This is a great story.
Romantic.
Interesting
Suspenseful.
Good descriptions
I like the dialogue.
love the ending.
Good characters too.
Good luck in the contest.
Katie
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2011
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This is a great story.
Romantic.
Interesting
Suspenseful.
Good descriptions
I like the dialogue.
love the ending.
Good characters too.
Good luck in the contest.
Katie
Comment Written 15-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2011
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Hi Katie, thank you so much for your kind review and generous rating. I'm thrilled you enjoyed. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
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You're welcome Marijke
Katie
Comment from animatqua
This was a really good Valentine's story. The opening pulled me in immediately. The fast pace and believable action kept me reading. The intensity of the `will he live or not' question propelled me on from there. The ending was predictable, but it was still well done.
The only suggestion I would make is this: Identify the person touching Shana just before she goes to the chapel. It can be assumed it is a nurse, but it's better to say it outright rather than make the reader guess.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2011
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This was a really good Valentine's story. The opening pulled me in immediately. The fast pace and believable action kept me reading. The intensity of the `will he live or not' question propelled me on from there. The ending was predictable, but it was still well done.
The only suggestion I would make is this: Identify the person touching Shana just before she goes to the chapel. It can be assumed it is a nurse, but it's better to say it outright rather than make the reader guess.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2011
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Thank you for your kind comments and generous rating. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Mari:)
Not only is this a great Valentine's Day story; it is a story of faith, romance and self-awareness. I have just a few minor comments:
1. The candle's flame had died, like the anticipation in her heart. {Great simile.}
2. We're waiting for MRI and X-Ray [result ==> results] to tell us how serious these injuries may be. {A typo?}
3. There were stained-glass above the altar and a centre aisle divided six benches.{did you leave a word out?}
This is a power contest entry. There were only very minor errors, so no mark down in rating. I'm sending you some virtual Irish hugs for good luck,
Roger
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2011
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Hi Mari:)
Not only is this a great Valentine's Day story; it is a story of faith, romance and self-awareness. I have just a few minor comments:
1. The candle's flame had died, like the anticipation in her heart. {Great simile.}
2. We're waiting for MRI and X-Ray [result ==> results] to tell us how serious these injuries may be. {A typo?}
3. There were stained-glass above the altar and a centre aisle divided six benches.{did you leave a word out?}
This is a power contest entry. There were only very minor errors, so no mark down in rating. I'm sending you some virtual Irish hugs for good luck,
Roger
Comment Written 15-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2011
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Hi Roger, so nice to hear from you AND to receive such a lovely and generous six star rating (and for picking up on those couple of nits - I have fixed - thank you!). I'm thrilled you enjoyed the story and I especially enjoyed receiving your Irish hugs, my friend! LOL :o).
Warmest regards and hugs, Marijke :o)
Comment from tammipratt
There were some good descriptions and use of words to create some great images in the reader's mind.
You've done a great job.
There was good structure, and flow, and the story was tight as a result.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2011
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There were some good descriptions and use of words to create some great images in the reader's mind.
You've done a great job.
There was good structure, and flow, and the story was tight as a result.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2011
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Thank you for your kind comments and generous rating. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
fionageorge:
this is really a beautiful story of love for the
Valentine's Day Story contest -- while John survived
the surgery, it is clear he has a long road ahead
of him, yet Shana's going to hang with him anyway --
that's a message of true love
thanks for sharing
good luck in the contest
love,
jan
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2011
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fionageorge:
this is really a beautiful story of love for the
Valentine's Day Story contest -- while John survived
the surgery, it is clear he has a long road ahead
of him, yet Shana's going to hang with him anyway --
that's a message of true love
thanks for sharing
good luck in the contest
love,
jan
Comment Written 15-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2011
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Thank you, Jan, for your kind comments and generous rating. I'm pleased you enjoyed. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from Dave Sargeant
This one certainly kept me reading Fiona. It has suspense, good diologue, and captivates right to the end. A good story with a happy ending and answered prayer. Dave.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2011
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This one certainly kept me reading Fiona. It has suspense, good diologue, and captivates right to the end. A good story with a happy ending and answered prayer. Dave.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2011
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Hi, Dave. Thank you for the kind and generous review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from moyramouse
Your story carries us along , involving us in the lives of these two
lovers. We see that Shana realizes love outweighs celebrity in the end. Although
I could have shaken her for going to fluff her hair up and do her face before she saw John. It is a good read. x moyramouse
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2011
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Your story carries us along , involving us in the lives of these two
lovers. We see that Shana realizes love outweighs celebrity in the end. Although
I could have shaken her for going to fluff her hair up and do her face before she saw John. It is a good read. x moyramouse
Comment Written 15-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2011
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Thank you, Moyra, for your kind comments and generous rating. I'm pleased you enjoyed. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
