On The Wind Blows Death
A mare has a foal29 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
Susan, you create mood so well through your vivid descriptions of setting - and then you build suspense so well with that ominously circling eagle.
determined flight toward it's next meal - drop the apostrophe
What a sad sad scene, Susan, but so realistic a depiction of the circle of life, where predators have to eat too, and the herd goes on to live another day. This is quite moving, and most worthy of a six, but I have none. Brooke
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2011
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Susan, you create mood so well through your vivid descriptions of setting - and then you build suspense so well with that ominously circling eagle.
determined flight toward it's next meal - drop the apostrophe
What a sad sad scene, Susan, but so realistic a depiction of the circle of life, where predators have to eat too, and the herd goes on to live another day. This is quite moving, and most worthy of a six, but I have none. Brooke
Comment Written 10-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2011
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Hi Brooke! Hey, it's the thought that counts, and I am so excited you liked this so much. It means the world to me. Thank you again! You have really made my day! Happy writing Brooke! HUG, susan
Comment from humpwhistle
Oh, Suse, I have some troubles with this one. Not your writing, but the subject matter. I know how you feel about horses. I know that this sort of thing is a fact of life, but I worry about you thinking these kinds of thoughts when the wind is blowing and the snow is falling. Keep on the sunny side of the street, Susan.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2011
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Oh, Suse, I have some troubles with this one. Not your writing, but the subject matter. I know how you feel about horses. I know that this sort of thing is a fact of life, but I worry about you thinking these kinds of thoughts when the wind is blowing and the snow is falling. Keep on the sunny side of the street, Susan.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 10-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2011
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HI! I wish you were here! The sun is out, it's still cold tho...but it LOOKS great! NO snow, it melted a few days ago when we had a heatwave with temps in the thirties!! ") And, we are to be in the fifties in a few days too! WOW! I hope it gets over your way Lee!! I am super happy you liked this, I really worked on it and appreciate your time to read and review it too. If you want a happy tale, and have a minute go to my portfolio and read "The Good Old Days", I would really value your opinion of my attempt at the dialogue? I am always happy to hear from you...suse
Comment from bobwhite
The love of a mother who gave her own life to try to help her young. The description of the eagle and the mothers rage towards the yearling were so easily visualized. Reminds me of this fallen world we are in until Christ returns. I feel for the animals who fall under the curse caused by man. Your story is wonderful and deserves a six.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2011
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The love of a mother who gave her own life to try to help her young. The description of the eagle and the mothers rage towards the yearling were so easily visualized. Reminds me of this fallen world we are in until Christ returns. I feel for the animals who fall under the curse caused by man. Your story is wonderful and deserves a six.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2011
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Hi there! Thank you very much for this kind and encouraging review...I love horses, but you are right, I hope, about the return of our Lord. It is getting to the point now, that I sometimes can't believe God let's us keep going at all. Blessings to you and yours...susan
Comment from Judy Swanson
Hi Susan,
You wrote a fine story here about the nature of life in the wild. I was saddened, and pulling for the horses; yet all the while knowing there was no hope. You paint a vivid picture with excellent imagery, allowing the reader to visualize the place and the action. And, to feel the emotion throughout.
Still, a few unnecessary commas. But, a great story very well written.
Judy
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2011
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Hi Susan,
You wrote a fine story here about the nature of life in the wild. I was saddened, and pulling for the horses; yet all the while knowing there was no hope. You paint a vivid picture with excellent imagery, allowing the reader to visualize the place and the action. And, to feel the emotion throughout.
Still, a few unnecessary commas. But, a great story very well written.
Judy
Comment Written 10-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2011
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Hi Judy! Thank you. I went through this and removed over half of those commas...I am awful. Thank you for the help and this kind and welcome review Judy!! It's great to know you enjoyed this sad tale...I saw a show where the wolves up in Canada? Or Montana got a buffalo down, and literally ate her alive...I cried hard, and had to switch the channel...but that's nature! SO sad...I really appreciate your reading this anyway, so many can't take it. HUGS! Susan
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You are always welcome. Your writing is good - keep it up. Judy
Comment from c_lucas
This is a very well written story, showing the difficulty of living in the wild. You held my attention throughout. This is well worthy of six stars.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2011
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This is a very well written story, showing the difficulty of living in the wild. You held my attention throughout. This is well worthy of six stars.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2011
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Wow Charlie! A six from you is a real honor!! I am so happy you liked this enough for this kind rating!! Thanks for always being here for me C!! SMiles!! ") Susan
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You're welcome, Susan. You had my attention. Charlie
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I am honored, you have been a great helper a lot and your work just shines C!! Thank you again... ")
Comment from CodyJack
I'm just a softie, I guess, for I was rooting for the mom and baby horse. That was so sad when you showed us what happened to it and then the prize was taken from the eagle. Survival of the fittest but sad too. Your friend, Cody
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2011
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I'm just a softie, I guess, for I was rooting for the mom and baby horse. That was so sad when you showed us what happened to it and then the prize was taken from the eagle. Survival of the fittest but sad too. Your friend, Cody
Comment Written 10-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2011
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Hi Cody...Thank you so much!! I am so happy you liked this, my fav to write...it's life that the wild things perish...I hope it didn't bring back sadness to you my friend. I did not realize it might until after posting. Hugs, and a wish for happiness Cody...susan
Comment from thorney
Hi there Realist. A good story about the harshness the natural world can bring. You told the story well, but I spotted a few little nits--not worth reducing my marks for:
Thunder rumbled(;) the sound low and ominous across the plains,
She glanced around at her herdmates before nonchalantly meandering ... - herd-mates
He knew what the lone horse was doing; he had feasted on foals before.
Gently, with soft nickers, - I think this might be snickers
The mare charged furiously half-way up the bank - halfway
but knew not to stay and made a bee-line back to his own dam. - beeline
The mare held her ground(;) she had gone through many storms.
And(,) as the rain began to pour, the ditch became flooded.
The canyon walls echoed with the sounds of the storm and as the herd ran to escape it(;) their matriarch disappeared ...
And(,) as it is when nature has her way,
It ate the filly's eyes first() and gradually worked into her stomach.
but they all ignored him and grazed the newly rainwashed grass, - rain-washed
Thanks for a good read.
Regards, Pete.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2011
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Hi there Realist. A good story about the harshness the natural world can bring. You told the story well, but I spotted a few little nits--not worth reducing my marks for:
Thunder rumbled(;) the sound low and ominous across the plains,
She glanced around at her herdmates before nonchalantly meandering ... - herd-mates
He knew what the lone horse was doing; he had feasted on foals before.
Gently, with soft nickers, - I think this might be snickers
The mare charged furiously half-way up the bank - halfway
but knew not to stay and made a bee-line back to his own dam. - beeline
The mare held her ground(;) she had gone through many storms.
And(,) as the rain began to pour, the ditch became flooded.
The canyon walls echoed with the sounds of the storm and as the herd ran to escape it(;) their matriarch disappeared ...
And(,) as it is when nature has her way,
It ate the filly's eyes first() and gradually worked into her stomach.
but they all ignored him and grazed the newly rainwashed grass, - rain-washed
Thanks for a good read.
Regards, Pete.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2011
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Hi Pete! Thank you!! I will jot these down and work on this asap!! I need to go back to grade school...but thank you for this help and your time for me too!! Happy Valentines too!! Susan
Comment from fionageorge
I thought you told this really well, and you really got into the psychie of the mare. I found the scenario fascinating and interesting, until you had the eagle eat the filly's eyes. I had to stop reading as my own eyes watered. I did get back to it, but the visual image stayed with me. I know it is the way in nature ... perhaps I'm too much of a city gal! Thanks for sharing and warmest regards, Marijke :o)
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reply by the author on 15-Feb-2011
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I thought you told this really well, and you really got into the psychie of the mare. I found the scenario fascinating and interesting, until you had the eagle eat the filly's eyes. I had to stop reading as my own eyes watered. I did get back to it, but the visual image stayed with me. I know it is the way in nature ... perhaps I'm too much of a city gal! Thanks for sharing and warmest regards, Marijke :o)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2011
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Hi Marijke!! Thank you so much! I love this story. And am honored to have you read it too. No harm in being a city person! I love sharing these things with people who have an interest in learning something different? Thank you again and I will catch up with you asap too!! HUG! Susan
Comment from misscookie
wHat tuching and powerful story
your artwork did it justic.
Iove the movement of the story
it is filled with drama and action. love life and death.
this is a good write.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2011
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wHat tuching and powerful story
your artwork did it justic.
Iove the movement of the story
it is filled with drama and action. love life and death.
this is a good write.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2011
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Hi Cookie! Thank you very much! I am proud of this one and so really appreciate your time to read it for me! Your opinion means a lot to me and I will get caught up to you asap too!! I hope you had a nice Valentine's Day!! Love, susan
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Thank you very much.
