Don't Soldiers Get This?
free verse describing disability20 total reviews
Comment from sgalletti
Great end rhymes in your piece about post traumatic stress. Yes, generally, we associate this with the aftermath of traumatic events like fighting in a war and forget that it is experienced by others who have had trauma in their lives. Thanks for sharing and best of luck in this contest. Sue
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2011
  |
Great end rhymes in your piece about post traumatic stress. Yes, generally, we associate this with the aftermath of traumatic events like fighting in a war and forget that it is experienced by others who have had trauma in their lives. Thanks for sharing and best of luck in this contest. Sue
Comment Written 30-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2011
-
Hi Sue. Thanks so much for taking time to read the poem and send along your excellent review. I appreciate the good wishes as well.
Comment from vtsfic
Thank you for sharing about PTSD. In the way you do so, you help others to understand what it is like to live with the disorder. Your sentences flow very evenly and the rhyme is excellent too.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2011
|
Thank you for sharing about PTSD. In the way you do so, you help others to understand what it is like to live with the disorder. Your sentences flow very evenly and the rhyme is excellent too.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2011
-
I really appreciate your wonderful review and encouragement. Thanks for making the effort! Best wishes.
Comment from Summer J Breeze
oh, i soooo relate to what you have written. and you described it all so well, so passionately. especially this bit, it stood out to me:
"Get a Grip, Get a Grasp."
"Can't you see the danger's passed?"
Not for me! All strangers wear masks.
trust comes oh so slowly. we test and test and test, and most fail. but sometimes, if we're lucky, we find someone who stays long enough to discover the person beneath the fear. if we hang on too tight, we lose, so i am learning-oh so slowly-to relax my grip. i hope you come to that place, too, and ease some of that loneliness. hugs to you, though i know you will not trust them. :)
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2011
 |
oh, i soooo relate to what you have written. and you described it all so well, so passionately. especially this bit, it stood out to me:
"Get a Grip, Get a Grasp."
"Can't you see the danger's passed?"
Not for me! All strangers wear masks.
trust comes oh so slowly. we test and test and test, and most fail. but sometimes, if we're lucky, we find someone who stays long enough to discover the person beneath the fear. if we hang on too tight, we lose, so i am learning-oh so slowly-to relax my grip. i hope you come to that place, too, and ease some of that loneliness. hugs to you, though i know you will not trust them. :)
Comment Written 30-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2011
-
I am deeply humbled and honored by your wonderful review jan. You describe exquisitely in your review the tightrope of this disorder. I am so gratified by your understanding. I have found some really good coping techniques through much trial and error - primarily for me is the emotional freedom technique or EFT and cognitive therapy. Your concern is so touching. Bless you lovely lady. Bev
-
thank you. it is nice to know we aren't alone after all, isn't it?
-
That's for sure Jan. XX Bev
Comment from Cedar
This is a beautiful but sad writing. Emotional abuse can
be nearly as bad as physical abuse. I hope and pray that
you are doing better and as life goes on you will able to
erase that mark that has left you hurting in so many ways. May God bless you. Cedar/Bill
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2011
|
This is a beautiful but sad writing. Emotional abuse can
be nearly as bad as physical abuse. I hope and pray that
you are doing better and as life goes on you will able to
erase that mark that has left you hurting in so many ways. May God bless you. Cedar/Bill
Comment Written 30-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2011
-
Thank you kind man for your beautiful words of encouragement within your excellent review. I have found excellent coping techniques and therapeutic help for the disorder, so I'm functioning well in my later years. In many way, this second half of my life is much better. I so appreciate your touching concern Bill. Blessings to you as well...Bev
Comment from Bellringer
This writing prompt is showing the daily battles fought by writers and artists. Perhaps it's this pain that makes us write. Your poem is well composed and the emotions are clearly expressed. I was wondering if whether the line: Can't you see the danger's passed, should be in quotes. Blessings, Hector
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2011
|
This writing prompt is showing the daily battles fought by writers and artists. Perhaps it's this pain that makes us write. Your poem is well composed and the emotions are clearly expressed. I was wondering if whether the line: Can't you see the danger's passed, should be in quotes. Blessings, Hector
Comment Written 29-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2011
-
Thanks for your great review Hector. I always appreciate your thoughts and perspective on my writing. I'll re-look at the part you mention, could be you're right. Much appreciated!
-
You're welcome, Bev. Blessings, Hector
-
Thanks buddy.
Comment from Peter@Poole
This is an excellent, well composed, emotive, rhymed poem. It is not free verse, having a wealth of poetic devices, including alliteration and various kinds of rhyming. Your questions and answers are very subtly put, but you've crafted these lines so that the reader can grasp the situation. I want to read more. Peter
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2011
|
This is an excellent, well composed, emotive, rhymed poem. It is not free verse, having a wealth of poetic devices, including alliteration and various kinds of rhyming. Your questions and answers are very subtly put, but you've crafted these lines so that the reader can grasp the situation. I want to read more. Peter
Comment Written 29-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2011
-
Thanks for your wonderful review and encouraging words. Your technical references are extremely helpful to me; and I really especially appreciate help along those lines. Much appreciated!
Comment from gallivandog
PTSD, I know a little about this awful condition from a Soldiers view point, so can totally understand how other folk feel at times. "You won't breach my defences" This is a genius line,I am currently deploying this tactic as I am dealing with my situation right now in real time. Bev, this is a topical subject that I think many people will understand or at least be able to relate too.
Dave
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
|
PTSD, I know a little about this awful condition from a Soldiers view point, so can totally understand how other folk feel at times. "You won't breach my defences" This is a genius line,I am currently deploying this tactic as I am dealing with my situation right now in real time. Bev, this is a topical subject that I think many people will understand or at least be able to relate too.
Dave
Comment Written 28-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
-
Thanks Dave. There's a lot of good psychologists working with the disorder; and I've personally found wonderful help through the use of EFT - emotional freedom technique. It's been used successfully on vets in the California area. I really appreciate what a wonderful, supportive fellow writer you've become through the site. You're the best!
Comment from InterestingRon
This beautifully crafted poem is sad, poignant and because it's true heartbreaking.
I have a lady friend who suffers agoraphobia and panic attacks due to child abuse from an early age. She drinks a little too much, trying to cope. Her family tell her to stop drinking and all will be well! She's told to pull her socks up! Last time I saw her panic it resembled a heart attack - she couldn't breathe. I have some idea of what you're going through, luv.
Hope you win the contest!
Ron xox
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
|
This beautifully crafted poem is sad, poignant and because it's true heartbreaking.
I have a lady friend who suffers agoraphobia and panic attacks due to child abuse from an early age. She drinks a little too much, trying to cope. Her family tell her to stop drinking and all will be well! She's told to pull her socks up! Last time I saw her panic it resembled a heart attack - she couldn't breathe. I have some idea of what you're going through, luv.
Hope you win the contest!
Ron xox
Comment Written 28-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
-
Thanks so much Ron. You are a real dear to read and send along your very kind wishes and encouragement. Much appreciated my friend.
Comment from adewpearl
can't you see the danger's past - passed
as in danger has passed
Get a grip, get a grasp - love the alliteration and the rhythm of that line and clever near rhymes in grasp/past/masks
You describe post traumatic stress most effectively in this poem of rhyming tercets - it is both well composed and meaningful, my friend :-) Brooke
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
|
can't you see the danger's past - passed
as in danger has passed
Get a grip, get a grasp - love the alliteration and the rhythm of that line and clever near rhymes in grasp/past/masks
You describe post traumatic stress most effectively in this poem of rhyming tercets - it is both well composed and meaningful, my friend :-) Brooke
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
-
Oops! Thanks for the sharp eye. I really appreciate your generous and informative review Brooke. Best wishes.
Comment from Gungalo
A very difficult thing to get past but it's ot impossible. Yes, soldier's get this too and probably much stronger than most others. You did well with the topic at hand girl!!!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
|
A very difficult thing to get past but it's ot impossible. Yes, soldier's get this too and probably much stronger than most others. You did well with the topic at hand girl!!!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
-
Thanks so much my friend. I appreciate you stopping by to read and review. Always enjoy your ruminations on my writing.
-
My pleasure you and I always enjoy seeing where you'll take us next!!!
-
Aw...thanks sweet lady. XO
-
My pleasure poet!!!
