My Book of Poems 2010-2017
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Darkness"a collection of my poetry
89 total reviews
Comment from Fleedleflump
To me, this is either about depression and the deeply loved partner who can help make the low times bearable, or a disease which has gone into remission but is raring to return. Either way, it's one of the best uses I've seen of the Whitney form, and the clear message mixed with interpretable detail is excellent.
Mike
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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To me, this is either about depression and the deeply loved partner who can help make the low times bearable, or a disease which has gone into remission but is raring to return. Either way, it's one of the best uses I've seen of the Whitney form, and the clear message mixed with interpretable detail is excellent.
Mike
Comment Written 27-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Thank you SO much for this wonderful review. I appreciate your time in reading and your kind words. ~patty~
Comment from Kathy58
Wow, i wish that I had a six for this wonderful piece you have written here. Short and sweet, yet very strong words and quite descriptive to boot. It is such a wonderful feeling when you know God is always walking beside us. I always feel the strength from the Lord. a wonderful poem, Kathy58
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Wow, i wish that I had a six for this wonderful piece you have written here. Short and sweet, yet very strong words and quite descriptive to boot. It is such a wonderful feeling when you know God is always walking beside us. I always feel the strength from the Lord. a wonderful poem, Kathy58
Comment Written 27-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much - its the thought that counts!! I'm glad you enjoyed the poem and could feel my love for Him shine through. ~patty~
Comment from Peter@Poole
I can't fault this form of Whitney poem, though I suppose you are aware of others, the first dating from the 16th C. They are a very satisfying and easy form to cut one's teeth on. Thank you for this one. Peter@Poole
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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I can't fault this form of Whitney poem, though I suppose you are aware of others, the first dating from the 16th C. They are a very satisfying and easy form to cut one's teeth on. Thank you for this one. Peter@Poole
Comment Written 27-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Thank you for reading and the generous review - along with the information. I appreciate your comments. ~patty~
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You're welcome, Patty
Comment from ameen786
Very rare to find writers, specially, poets to talk/write about faith, God. I have seen very few on FS, your piece in God's praise is praise worthy and I agree with you that He is the true light near, around and within us. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Very rare to find writers, specially, poets to talk/write about faith, God. I have seen very few on FS, your piece in God's praise is praise worthy and I agree with you that He is the true light near, around and within us. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Thank you for reading and the generous review. I love to write about Him, and take every chance I get - without Him, I'm nothing. ~patty~
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
A good write with good flow and i'm sorry to hear your pain I hope you will be better. YOUR ARTWORK WORKS WELL WITH YOUR SCRIPT. Thanks.. MARY
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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A good write with good flow and i'm sorry to hear your pain I hope you will be better. YOUR ARTWORK WORKS WELL WITH YOUR SCRIPT. Thanks.. MARY
Comment Written 27-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much for reading and the generous review. I am doing much, much better - THANK YOU!! ~patty~
Comment from shariannegaylee
Hi Patty,
This is excellent, shows how we need to remember "who's really driving our car" (a song I wrote). One tiny suggestion: break up the last line into two lines--
Right next to me
Through this [dark] night
That's it! Great job, it also shows how sometimes all we have is God, but God's more than enough.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Hi Patty,
This is excellent, shows how we need to remember "who's really driving our car" (a song I wrote). One tiny suggestion: break up the last line into two lines--
Right next to me
Through this [dark] night
That's it! Great job, it also shows how sometimes all we have is God, but God's more than enough.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Thank you for reading and the generous review. I like your suggestion, but that would make it a 'modified' Whitney, and I'm NOT a strong enough poet YET to start making my own rules. ~patty~
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Oh, I didn't realize "Whitney" was a poetry form, sorry! Still learning the many different forms!
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no worries - I just didn't want you to think I didn't like your suggestion - it would read better, just wouldn't fit the form. ~p~
Comment from JeJo
hello Patty,
this is a good Whitney poem in perfect form, on spiritual themes of darkness and pain versus light and joy... in the end, the Light always has the victory and erases the pain.
I like the rhymes/near rhymes of strong/gone, me/He, Light/night.
When we realize He is there through anything, peace and comfort can enter our souls, vanquishing the pain... I like the self-encouragement of this piece, one anybody could hold onto. Great job.. All the best, Jen
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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hello Patty,
this is a good Whitney poem in perfect form, on spiritual themes of darkness and pain versus light and joy... in the end, the Light always has the victory and erases the pain.
I like the rhymes/near rhymes of strong/gone, me/He, Light/night.
When we realize He is there through anything, peace and comfort can enter our souls, vanquishing the pain... I like the self-encouragement of this piece, one anybody could hold onto. Great job.. All the best, Jen
Comment Written 27-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much for reading and the generous review. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem and its message. ~patty~
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you're welcome :)
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
Nice.
I like the image and visual presentation.
Flows well.
I like the title.
I like the whole thing but I think my favorite part is your last 3 lines.
Kathryn
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Nice.
I like the image and visual presentation.
Flows well.
I like the title.
I like the whole thing but I think my favorite part is your last 3 lines.
Kathryn
Comment Written 27-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much for reading and the generous review. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem and its message. ~patty~
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Patty, you're welcome.
Kathryn
Comment from Carrie Smith
Hi there. A wonderful message of a dark time, we all have them. Than the realization that turning to the light is the answer. Well written and thank you for the explanation of a Whitney poem. xxCarrie
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Hi there. A wonderful message of a dark time, we all have them. Than the realization that turning to the light is the answer. Well written and thank you for the explanation of a Whitney poem. xxCarrie
Comment Written 27-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Thank you for reading and the generous review. I'm glad you liked my Whitney and received the message. ~patty~
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You are so welcome and I for one, am so glad you didn't leave us.It's okay to unload. Sometimes our trigger just get flipped - eh! xxCarrie
Comment from seewhatimwritingnow
Very well-written..speaking of God, I'm supposing? You have followed the qualifications of this contest perfectly and presented beautifully, as well. Thanks for sharing, and best of luck in the contest. Betty
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Very well-written..speaking of God, I'm supposing? You have followed the qualifications of this contest perfectly and presented beautifully, as well. Thanks for sharing, and best of luck in the contest. Betty
Comment Written 27-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2011
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Thank you for reading and the generous review. Yes, its about God, and there is a bit of double meaning with my hubby - but while my hubby could leave someday, God never will. ~patty~
