My Book of Poems 2010-2017
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Darkness"a collection of my poetry
89 total reviews
Comment from kintesiegel
This poem of faith and pain reflects the deep emotions that the author experiences and the comfort of faith that belies the sensation of doubt
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2011
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This poem of faith and pain reflects the deep emotions that the author experiences and the comfort of faith that belies the sensation of doubt
Comment Written 02-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2011
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So, this is constructive criticism? Please stay away from my work. I will stay away from yours since you do not understand critquing or writing.
Comment from bobwhite
Psalm 4:8
In peace I will both lie down and sleep, For You alone, O LORD, make me to dwell in safety.
Hi Mustangpatty. I just love that name. I read your poem and felt such a stirring of fear in your first few words and that this is a continual oppression but then your poem reaches out from that constant dark place and grabs hold of the only true light who was there with you all along.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2011
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Psalm 4:8
In peace I will both lie down and sleep, For You alone, O LORD, make me to dwell in safety.
Hi Mustangpatty. I just love that name. I read your poem and felt such a stirring of fear in your first few words and that this is a continual oppression but then your poem reaches out from that constant dark place and grabs hold of the only true light who was there with you all along.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2011
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Thank you for reading and the generous review. Yes - you did see that He is always with me, and once I figured that out, everything else is okay. ~patty~
Comment from L.lora
Very well done Patty, it appears
that you've nailed this form.
Your words echo in my mind, familiar
and utterred under breath. no
nits or spags, Lora
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
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Very well done Patty, it appears
that you've nailed this form.
Your words echo in my mind, familiar
and utterred under breath. no
nits or spags, Lora
Comment Written 28-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
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Thank you for reading, the generous review and your heartfelt words. I'm in a pretty good place, but I feel my experience of working through all this would make a great novel - this will be the 'jump off.' I've done a bit of editing from suggestions, and it reads a bit different. Thank you SO much. ~patty~
Comment from fairydancer
Very powerful beginning - I could feel your stress and pain, and regret.
Then automatically you ask where any help is, almost assuming it has fled you, but then you realise it is within you the whole time.
Well written with good depth of feeling - Cally
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
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Very powerful beginning - I could feel your stress and pain, and regret.
Then automatically you ask where any help is, almost assuming it has fled you, but then you realise it is within you the whole time.
Well written with good depth of feeling - Cally
Comment Written 28-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much for reading and the generous review. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem and received its message. ~patty~
Comment from raw form
When it comes to thoughts on God I always love to hear him praised he is the power behind us all and your whitney shows that. I enjoyed the read and am always pleased by others who feel as I do.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
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When it comes to thoughts on God I always love to hear him praised he is the power behind us all and your whitney shows that. I enjoyed the read and am always pleased by others who feel as I do.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much for reading and the generous review. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem and received its message. ~patty~
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You're welcome Patty
Comment from edgey54
Hello patty. So this is a Whitney poem. The syllable count was perfect.There's to me something not right?The 4th line IT would it's have worked? The flow and meter OK. The last line was it a cat?
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
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Hello patty. So this is a Whitney poem. The syllable count was perfect.There's to me something not right?The 4th line IT would it's have worked? The flow and meter OK. The last line was it a cat?
Comment Written 28-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
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Thank you for reading and the generous review. I will go back and see if 'it's' will work with the meter. I know I have a habit of writing about animals, but this was about Jesus Christ, my Savior. ~patty~
Comment from PoesyPoet
The anxiety of waking up in the night and thinking you're alone is really quite scary. I think this was really good. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
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The anxiety of waking up in the night and thinking you're alone is really quite scary. I think this was really good. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much for reading and the generous review. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem and received its message. ~patty~
Comment from Akarva
A beautiful poem about darkness written well by the poet. Darkness and light are symbolic of life and is a continous cycle but we emerge stronger after darkness.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
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A beautiful poem about darkness written well by the poet. Darkness and light are symbolic of life and is a continous cycle but we emerge stronger after darkness.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much for reading and the generous review. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem and received its message. ~patty~
Comment from dannielleduran
Your poem is well written and right on target with syllable count. Structurally it is perfect. It reads well. Also, you did well with your imagery and emotion within the words. Great job.
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
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Your poem is well written and right on target with syllable count. Structurally it is perfect. It reads well. Also, you did well with your imagery and emotion within the words. Great job.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much for reading and the generous review. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem and received its message. ~patty~
Comment from G.B. Smith
I remember when I got my divorce in 1973, My best friend was a yellow cat named Sam, and a golden retriever named Annie. Both were females, and they slept with me. In fact except for work, they went everywhere with me, & if I had a date that didn't like animals, she stayed home & me & the girls went to the drive-in or for a run on the beach. My best friends have been fury
Bear
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
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I remember when I got my divorce in 1973, My best friend was a yellow cat named Sam, and a golden retriever named Annie. Both were females, and they slept with me. In fact except for work, they went everywhere with me, & if I had a date that didn't like animals, she stayed home & me & the girls went to the drive-in or for a run on the beach. My best friends have been fury
Bear
Comment Written 28-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much for reading and the generous review. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem and received its message. ~patty~
