Thinking with The Wrong Head
The screwing he gets for the screwing he got.71 total reviews
Comment from Mark Valentine
Nice story. I can see why this won (though if I were the husband, I think I would have led with the news about AIDS - that would have to hurt more than any ass-kicking could, and it would have saved him from getting his own ass kicked).
In terms of the writing, I think the second paragraph is a great example of supplying just the right amount of description (you do that in your Cleve novels as well) - it makes the scene three-dimensional without being adjective-happy to the point where it detracts from the story.
Same with the paragraph that descries the fight - "torqued" back is the perfect verb there, and you can feel him wobbling to get back up. Thanks for re-posting.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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Nice story. I can see why this won (though if I were the husband, I think I would have led with the news about AIDS - that would have to hurt more than any ass-kicking could, and it would have saved him from getting his own ass kicked).
In terms of the writing, I think the second paragraph is a great example of supplying just the right amount of description (you do that in your Cleve novels as well) - it makes the scene three-dimensional without being adjective-happy to the point where it detracts from the story.
Same with the paragraph that descries the fight - "torqued" back is the perfect verb there, and you can feel him wobbling to get back up. Thanks for re-posting.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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Hi Stranger! LOL Good to hear from you again. I have been laying a little low until the fall myself. Summering ou know. I am glad you liked this story and the six stars are so welcomed, Mark. Take care, buddy. : ) Bob
Comment from royowen
I guess on could say, one deserves what one gets. And inheritsvwhatever is being given to him, and in this case if one needs AIDS, he will receive it. Great story, and this answers all the questions that Jonah might have. Great write Bob, great irony and, in a sense, justice, well done, blesskngs, Roy
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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I guess on could say, one deserves what one gets. And inheritsvwhatever is being given to him, and in this case if one needs AIDS, he will receive it. Great story, and this answers all the questions that Jonah might have. Great write Bob, great irony and, in a sense, justice, well done, blesskngs, Roy
Comment Written 18-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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Thanks so much, roy. I appreciate you. : ) Bob
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Well done
Comment from doggymad1
This was a brilliant post Bob. From the outset I was fascinated by this woman's need for a a man like Jonah. Especially as he didn't seem overly concerned by his issue with personal hygiene.
Loved the twist at the end. Best of luck in the contest
hugs
Freda
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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This was a brilliant post Bob. From the outset I was fascinated by this woman's need for a a man like Jonah. Especially as he didn't seem overly concerned by his issue with personal hygiene.
Loved the twist at the end. Best of luck in the contest
hugs
Freda
Comment Written 18-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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Thanks, Freda. I appreciate the great review as well as the six stars. So good tom hear from you again, my friend. BTW. I won this contest per the ribbon on the bottom of the post. : ) Bob
Comment from Sankey
This was just SO GOOD! You done well, mate. Just sorry too early for a SIX! All the awards are well deserved. Loved all the descriptiveness which is your norm, of course. And the punch line "tested for aids and positive"...ha ha ha! Good one mate! Congratulations for a good job.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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This was just SO GOOD! You done well, mate. Just sorry too early for a SIX! All the awards are well deserved. Loved all the descriptiveness which is your norm, of course. And the punch line "tested for aids and positive"...ha ha ha! Good one mate! Congratulations for a good job.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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Thanks, Geoff. I appreciate you and your remarks as well. : ) Bob
Comment from Joan E.
Many kudos on winning flash fiction contest. Your "butterfly," "slum with a hitch," "starving kittens" and "anorexic bullfrog" similies are memorable. I admired your appeal to our senses of sight, smell, and sound, plus your surprise conclusion regarding AIDs. Keep up your intriguing work- Joan
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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Many kudos on winning flash fiction contest. Your "butterfly," "slum with a hitch," "starving kittens" and "anorexic bullfrog" similies are memorable. I admired your appeal to our senses of sight, smell, and sound, plus your surprise conclusion regarding AIDs. Keep up your intriguing work- Joan
Comment Written 18-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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Thank you Joan. The reviewing aand the six stars have made my day again. You are so special. Bless you. Bob
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Here's to more great days! Cheers- Joan
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Yes. : ) Bob
Comment from Dutchie
This was quite a story Bob and so well written.. In the beginning I knew there should something happen but this I never expected... That ugly guy should have known better... Fia
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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This was quite a story Bob and so well written.. In the beginning I knew there should something happen but this I never expected... That ugly guy should have known better... Fia
Comment Written 18-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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Glad you liked this one, Fia. You are so generous with the six stars too. Bless you. : ) Bob
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I can see why this is a contest winner. I'm sorry I wasn't able to read it the first time around. Men will exhibit strange behavior when a young woman is thrown in the mix. This is a nice read.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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I can see why this is a contest winner. I'm sorry I wasn't able to read it the first time around. Men will exhibit strange behavior when a young woman is thrown in the mix. This is a nice read.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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Thank you Barbara. : ) Bob
Comment from nomi338
I am always suspicious of a woman who is clearly out of my league who seems anxious to get with me. Now I know who I am and what I have to offer, but I am realistic about my gifts. I am no Denzell Washington or on a par with most of the black hunks walking around. So, if it does not add up, I usually subtract myself from the equation. I'm just saying. The write was great, I really enjoyed the read.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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I am always suspicious of a woman who is clearly out of my league who seems anxious to get with me. Now I know who I am and what I have to offer, but I am realistic about my gifts. I am no Denzell Washington or on a par with most of the black hunks walking around. So, if it does not add up, I usually subtract myself from the equation. I'm just saying. The write was great, I really enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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Thanks so much, my friend. good to hear from you as always. : ) Bob
Comment from robyn corum
Bob,
Yep. I can see why this won. You can set a scene like nobody's business. I can't think of many writers who can surpass your talents in that area. I love the image of that trailer park. I think I've been there - and I may even know that guy. hahaha Congrats on that ribbon. Well deserved!
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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Bob,
Yep. I can see why this won. You can set a scene like nobody's business. I can't think of many writers who can surpass your talents in that area. I love the image of that trailer park. I think I've been there - and I may even know that guy. hahaha Congrats on that ribbon. Well deserved!
Comment Written 18-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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Well, thank you so much, pal. I really appreciate the words coming from you. Bless you. Bob
Comment from Debbie Pope
I have been doing more prose writing lately, which makes me more appreciative of your style in this one. I adore your vagrant marijuana smells and your mobile homes that don't move. Oh, and Jonah's glistening fleshy cheeks. Your descriptions are as engaging as your warped plot. I just loved every word, and I have read it several times.
Thanks for reposting this.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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I have been doing more prose writing lately, which makes me more appreciative of your style in this one. I adore your vagrant marijuana smells and your mobile homes that don't move. Oh, and Jonah's glistening fleshy cheeks. Your descriptions are as engaging as your warped plot. I just loved every word, and I have read it several times.
Thanks for reposting this.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2019
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You are such a sweetheart, Debbie. thanks so much for your generous review and six stars. I appreciate you and them very much. : ) Bob
