Barstools and Bethlehem
What would Jesus do?24 total reviews
Comment from Isaiah Ramesses
An interesting description of division within the masses, Susan. I do think Jesus would frown upon the actions of men against one another in his name. Very good short.
Isaiah
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2010
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An interesting description of division within the masses, Susan. I do think Jesus would frown upon the actions of men against one another in his name. Very good short.
Isaiah
Comment Written 22-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2010
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hi Isaiah! Well, who knows. ? I was raised a Methodist...whatever they are, I do not even know. I just try to be nice and I wish I could stop hating. I would, and could, if they would just stop the BS. I fear death, with all the Hell and Devil stuff. Geez. How do I break this darn curse on me. "/ I hope you are happy and well my friend! Susan
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How do you break it? Replenish the earth, mon cher. Re-sow your fruits--meaning trash your old thoughts, old ways, old belief system. This doesn't mean you throw away all the good that you know. It simply means to intergrate new truths to the "for sure" truths you have of old. Analyze and rebuild. It's what Jehovah and Jesus always did, right?
Comment from Fireshadow
LOL. Susan, this very clever brief flash fiction (?) illustrates once more your tremendous creativity and talent as a writer. Great work, my dear friend.
Ama
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2010
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LOL. Susan, this very clever brief flash fiction (?) illustrates once more your tremendous creativity and talent as a writer. Great work, my dear friend.
Ama
Comment Written 21-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2010
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Hi Ama! I think the ? is appropriate...") I never know what I'm writing! Some oddball thought occurs and who knows. But it's always fun to get stuff "off my chest"? Ha. You always give me such a boost Ama. Thank you with all my heart for your kind enthusiasm. Love to you and your family!! ") Susan
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
Susan,
You make me laugh!
This is great, though technically a Muslim should not be drinking. lol!
Love that you got it from going through the b's in the dictionary.
Good descriptions.
Love the ending.
Katie
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2010
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Susan,
You make me laugh!
This is great, though technically a Muslim should not be drinking. lol!
Love that you got it from going through the b's in the dictionary.
Good descriptions.
Love the ending.
Katie
Comment Written 20-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2010
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Hi there! See? you got me started! Thank you Katie! I am trying to spend a bit of time reading words! I was going to let you know I did this one because of you! I know, Muslims don't drink, but I was thinking maybe he was drinking egg nog, or ? I don't know. Thanks for a fun review! HUGS! Susan
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Hi Susan, you're welcome. And it's funny because most of the Muslim students I met in College drank even though they weren't supposed to, I guess they were taking advantage of not being in their home country. lol! Hugs,
katie p.s. and remember you don't have to just use the dictionary. You can use any book.
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I guess that's like the Amish kids, they are given a year at 16 or 18? to go out and do things the "English" do? They can choose to stay or go. Interesting! ") S.
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yup...
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Susan, in the first line I would lose the words: 'seemingly', (unnecessary adverb),and 'but', (also unnecessary.) In the third line: 'finally', could be eliminated. In the fifth line the phrase: 'as if he hadn't heard the white man speak', is probably unnecessary because the reader understands that from the tone of your writing. At the beginning of the seventh line I would probably eliminate the word: 'insulted', because the reader will understand that as well. Your idea for the plot is excellent and I liked your characters. Giddy
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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2010
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Susan, in the first line I would lose the words: 'seemingly', (unnecessary adverb),and 'but', (also unnecessary.) In the third line: 'finally', could be eliminated. In the fifth line the phrase: 'as if he hadn't heard the white man speak', is probably unnecessary because the reader understands that from the tone of your writing. At the beginning of the seventh line I would probably eliminate the word: 'insulted', because the reader will understand that as well. Your idea for the plot is excellent and I liked your characters. Giddy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2010
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Thank you Giddy, I will take these into consideration...and I do appreciate your time for me!! ") Susan
Comment from Winslow
Dear Realist,
I almost gave you a four, but upon thinking about what you say here it seems you imply a number of things to ponder. You are, I believe protesting against sterotyping in a very subtle way. The turbaned man may be the Christian, the white man maybe the muslim and the hippy is indeed Christ. What more can I say?
Merry Christmas,
Winslow
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2010
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Dear Realist,
I almost gave you a four, but upon thinking about what you say here it seems you imply a number of things to ponder. You are, I believe protesting against sterotyping in a very subtle way. The turbaned man may be the Christian, the white man maybe the muslim and the hippy is indeed Christ. What more can I say?
Merry Christmas,
Winslow
Comment Written 19-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2010
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Hi Winslow! Thank you! You are very perceptive, and I appreciate that. I appreciate the rating too...and I wish you and your family a wonderful Christmas as well!! susan
Comment from seewhatimwritingnow
SUPER write realist! Bringing Jesus into modern times, and showing human emotions and reactions- Very unique! Yes- Jesus DID have a temper- especially in the marketplace- in the Bible. The Jesus I know- does chastise, punish and protect. Why not? Great writing- I loved it. Betty
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2010
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SUPER write realist! Bringing Jesus into modern times, and showing human emotions and reactions- Very unique! Yes- Jesus DID have a temper- especially in the marketplace- in the Bible. The Jesus I know- does chastise, punish and protect. Why not? Great writing- I loved it. Betty
Comment Written 19-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2010
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Hi Betty! I am just thrilled that you liked this so. ") I agree. My favorite story about Jesus was when He overturned the tax collectors money table. ") Oh boy. Thank you for this great review!! HUG! Susan
Comment from Just Alyx
I had to shake my head and laugh at this one ... the Man himself, taking care of the schoolyard bigot. Humorous, contemporary take on a somewhat serious issue. Most of us would probably hope he was handy at moments like that; pub, schoolyard or otherwise. "Not in my town, you aren't."--great exit line, full of inlaid messages, and excellent surprise twist. Well penned and good for you, Suse.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2010
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I had to shake my head and laugh at this one ... the Man himself, taking care of the schoolyard bigot. Humorous, contemporary take on a somewhat serious issue. Most of us would probably hope he was handy at moments like that; pub, schoolyard or otherwise. "Not in my town, you aren't."--great exit line, full of inlaid messages, and excellent surprise twist. Well penned and good for you, Suse.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2010
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") SO glad you enjoyed this Lucas! I was looking thru the dictionary, and found barstools, and originally was going to write about the motorized ones...but then saw "Bethlehem". I don't know what's wrong with me. But thank you. I wish HE would come and help me just like this! ") Merry Christmas Lucas, to you and your loved ones! Suse
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Nothing wrong with you that I can tell. You're just imaginative and creative. Go the dictionary! Thanks, and you, too. Lucas.
Comment from anne1204
Cute you have a warped sense of humor. I loved this one It made me laugh out loud . Nice writing and nice humor. Merry Christmas Anne. P. S. Got your card and thanks.
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2010
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Cute you have a warped sense of humor. I loved this one It made me laugh out loud . Nice writing and nice humor. Merry Christmas Anne. P. S. Got your card and thanks.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2010
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Hi Anne! ") I am happy that you got a kick out of this. Thank you so much. AND you are welcome for the card!! I'm happy it made it okay!! Hugs, Susan
Comment from Dave M
Susan,
This is an excellent post, a fine story line and no faults that I could find. Jerks abound among all faiths.
Dave
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2010
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Susan,
This is an excellent post, a fine story line and no faults that I could find. Jerks abound among all faiths.
Dave
Comment Written 19-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2010
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Hi Dave, thank you very much! How right, as all races too. Good and bad...I am pleased you enjoyed this...") Merry Christmas Dave!! Susan
Comment from RebelRose
This is a different approach to a Christmas story but I really like it. Very original and creative. I love the title, most unusual.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2010
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This is a different approach to a Christmas story but I really like it. Very original and creative. I love the title, most unusual.
Comment Written 19-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2010
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Hi Rose! Thank you! Just thinking outside the box...it's fun once in a while! Good to hear from you! ") Susan
