The Phone
100 word piece21 total reviews
Comment from sparkie67
That's children for you they'll wait just when you get on the phone and then want to get your attention. and when you not watching they'll somehow manage to get hold of the phone...like my child did and made a long distant call....unbeknown to me
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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That's children for you they'll wait just when you get on the phone and then want to get your attention. and when you not watching they'll somehow manage to get hold of the phone...like my child did and made a long distant call....unbeknown to me
Comment Written 21-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Thank you for taking time out to read and review my work. Sorry for the delay in responding....was away for a long time
Comment from Writingfundimension
Hi Bridge. I found your essay piece to be very nicely written. Tight and to the point. A great window into the mind of a small child and creatively crafted. Great Job! Bev
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2011
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Hi Bridge. I found your essay piece to be very nicely written. Tight and to the point. A great window into the mind of a small child and creatively crafted. Great Job! Bev
Comment Written 24-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2011
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Thank you for your kind words. Thank you for taking the time to read and review
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You are most welcome.
Comment from Popcorn69
This is very cute, and it reminds me of Look Whose Talking. This is a good entry for this writing prompt, and it makes you wonder what are our young infants thinking? I do not see any grammar errors. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2010
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This is very cute, and it reminds me of Look Whose Talking. This is a good entry for this writing prompt, and it makes you wonder what are our young infants thinking? I do not see any grammar errors. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2010
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review. Glad you liked it.
Comment from RKagan
LOL...this is so funny and so well written. You are so right that is what the little buggers think when they see you on the phone. You captured the mind of a child. Great work.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2010
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LOL...this is so funny and so well written. You are so right that is what the little buggers think when they see you on the phone. You captured the mind of a child. Great work.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2010
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review . Glad you enjoyed the iece
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
I wonder if this is really how children think? Not in so many words of course; but I guess it must go something like this.
I like your chosen subject for this prompt anyway, and it makes the reader think.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2010
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I wonder if this is really how children think? Not in so many words of course; but I guess it must go something like this.
I like your chosen subject for this prompt anyway, and it makes the reader think.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2010
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Thanks for taking the time to read and review.Glad you liked it
Comment from Meshe Nair
Very cute story from a child's point of view. You have written a good story in about 100 words of a simple object. There are a few unnecessary spaces which you need to remove and some re-editing to be done. I believe other fellow writers have given the suggestions in their reviews and I didn't wanna repeat it.
Nice story. Keep writing and good luck in the contest.
Meshe Nair
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2010
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Very cute story from a child's point of view. You have written a good story in about 100 words of a simple object. There are a few unnecessary spaces which you need to remove and some re-editing to be done. I believe other fellow writers have given the suggestions in their reviews and I didn't wanna repeat it.
Nice story. Keep writing and good luck in the contest.
Meshe Nair
Comment Written 18-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2010
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review. Glad you liked it
Comment from Rama Rao
A fine piece of writing. I suppose you couldn't put more than that in 150 words.
All I can say is I liked it and wish you good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2010
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A fine piece of writing. I suppose you couldn't put more than that in 150 words.
All I can say is I liked it and wish you good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2010
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review.
Comment from phaedra
This is cute. The world is so new to children. My three year old son was very impressed by the coffee pot "going
pee pee." LOL
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2010
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This is cute. The world is so new to children. My three year old son was very impressed by the coffee pot "going
pee pee." LOL
Comment Written 18-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2010
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review. I generally based this on my two year old son
Comment from humpwhistle
This is a tough assignment, but a good challenge. I don't think I would have tackled this one. The problem is putting a baby's thoughts into words and believable sentences. You did an admirable job, but it still doesn't sound like a baby's thoughts to me. I know I'm being picky and I apologize, but "black object" sounds clinical to me.
I wonder if a baby wouldn't view it as a living rival? If the baby views the phone as a living thing, his/her jealousy becomes more personal. Just my thoughts. No offense intended. Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2010
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This is a tough assignment, but a good challenge. I don't think I would have tackled this one. The problem is putting a baby's thoughts into words and believable sentences. You did an admirable job, but it still doesn't sound like a baby's thoughts to me. I know I'm being picky and I apologize, but "black object" sounds clinical to me.
I wonder if a baby wouldn't view it as a living rival? If the baby views the phone as a living thing, his/her jealousy becomes more personal. Just my thoughts. No offense intended. Peace, Lee
Comment Written 18-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2010
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review. I guess you have a point about baby viewing the phone as a rival. I generally based it on my two year old son and his reaction when I talk on the phone but I'll admit again you do have a point. Thanks for the help
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My pleasure. I once had a cat that didn't like me much, but everytime I was on the phone, she'd be in my lap. I hope I was of some help. Lee
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
Yes, I can understand the child's curiosity about the black thing that his mother talks to.
It is always strange to young children to be on the receiving end of a telephpone conversation.
They are bound to wonder...
Juliette
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2010
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Yes, I can understand the child's curiosity about the black thing that his mother talks to.
It is always strange to young children to be on the receiving end of a telephpone conversation.
They are bound to wonder...
Juliette
Comment Written 18-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2010
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review.
