Comment from Rdfrdmom2

Excellent

yes, Alvin:

this certainly was an extreme misinterpretation
of Genesis 22: 1-14. If Abraham didn't want any
witnesses to the miracle, it makes me wonder
what became of Andy and Pete who had mysteriously
disappeared before Abraham, Isaac, and the mule
reached the summit.

thanks for sharing
good luck in the contest
love,
jan

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2010

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reply by the author on 05-Nov-2010

Yes, that was my way of making sure the story stays with the reader after it is read. In the Biblical story, the two young men who accompany Abraham and Isaac
do not witness Abraham about to kill Isaac (they and the donkey in that story stay behind.) Thanks for a great review.

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

I liked your font choice and the suspense you created in this shocking tale. (I think "if" got doubled up in paragraph 18.) I also appreciate learning that Isaac means "laughter" in Hebrew, and felt compassion for the tragic little fellow. Best wishes in the contest

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2010

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reply by the author on 05-Nov-2010

Thanks for that copy editing catch. I greatly appreciate it.Thanks also for a great review; I wanted the reader to feel compassion for Isaac; I am glad I accomplished that.

reply by Joan E. on 05-Nov-2010

Thanks for letting me know I was on the same wavelength- Joan in Utah

reply by the author on 05-Nov-2010

Utah?????

reply by Joan E. on 05-Nov-2010

Bob had to give a speech in Salt Lake City, and now we are being tourists in Canyonlands! -J

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

That's one way to rewrite the Bible story. This is well written twisted version of Abraham and Isacc. There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2010

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reply by the author on 05-Nov-2010

Thanks for a good review and yoru good wishes.

reply by c_lucas on 05-Nov-2010

YOu're welcome, Alvin. Charlie

Comment from babylonia

Excellent

Wow - yeah I believe misinterpretation is exactly what he had. It is so real as well as surreal. Nicely done. Best of luck on this one.
Love,
Barbara

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2010

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reply by the author on 05-Nov-2010

Thanks for an excellent review. I quite appreciate it.

reply by babylonia on 06-Nov-2010

you are welcome~
love,
barbara

Comment from chita

Excellent

You are descriptive and you have twisted this story around--you write with emeotion but one true this is that Isaac does mean "laughter"-you have Abraham taking Isaac out to trick or treat and he ends us killing Isaac--great job.

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2010

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reply by the author on 05-Nov-2010

Thanks for supporting the story and for an excellent review.

Comment from lola29

Excellent

This is definitel a horror story. The bible story was difficult enough for me to comprehend, but this is depicts a sicko pervert's distored mindset.

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2010

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reply by the author on 05-Nov-2010

Thanks for understanding what I wanted to convey. I know I owe you some responses and reviews.

Comment from G. Eleck

Excellent

Thanks for the skin crawling and lack of sleep that I'm sure to get tonight... I thought that this story was well written and did the job in scaring the hell out of me :)...
Well done and thanks for the great read...
Thanks G :)

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2010

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reply by the author on 05-Nov-2010

You're welcome. Thanks for an excellent review.

Comment from Gert sherwood

Excellent

Alvin, I'm in awe--
what a drastic switch from the story in the bible-
Yes you are so right it's an extreme misinterpretation of Genesis 22:1-14.

I know your entry will make folks open their eyes.

Gert

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2010

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reply by the author on 05-Nov-2010

Thanks for such an understanding review. I quite appreciate it.

reply by Gert sherwood on 05-Nov-2010

You are welcome
Gert

Comment from Lou Briggs

Exceptional

Oh, my God, I love this story. The introduction, with the name meaning was great.

It had my stomach cringing and jumping, and my heart beating in my throat. Great job taking the bible and twisting it as such (or maybe not).

Very clever.

-Lou

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2010

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reply by the author on 05-Nov-2010

Bless you. I have had a terrible bout of influenza this week and I wasn't sure how good this was--it was the product of a feverish mind. However, you reassured me. Thank you so much.

Comment from annettebda

Excellent

I got where you were going with this about two thirds through, and I was intrigued to see how it would end but given that it is a H alloween story I was ready for anything...I think I would have preferred a bolt of lightening that burnt Abraham to a crisp...but its okay!!
I am not a fan font size changing mid sentence so to speak, but that's a personal thing, the story is good and it is well written, Where exactly did Andy and Pete go, any chance they got fired by a thunderbolt?

Annette

knew what that mean* ? typo. ?should be a t = meant

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 05-Nov-2010

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reply by the author on 05-Nov-2010

Thanks for the copy editing correction. I appreciate it. Where do you think Andy and Pete went? Where did I change font size? I think it's twelve point throughout. Thanks again for a good review.

reply by annettebda on 05-Nov-2010

I want them fried..I want someone fried!!LOL

Check the write It must have been a format glitch thing

reply by annettebda on 05-Nov-2010

I went back and had a look , it is the italicized bits that look to be a smaller font..but I could be wrong

reply by the author on 05-Nov-2010

Yes, that is the feeling I want--outrage. I can't see any glitches in the format from my side. Thanks again for a great review.

reply by the author on 05-Nov-2010

Yes, that is what bothers me about italics. They always looks smaller than the font they are!