Reviews from

Muhammad's Ode to Khadijah

contest entry

14 total reviews 
Comment from babylonia
Excellent
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this is another beautiful poem. so full of life and spirit. all of the poems in this contest are great. you gave an easy to follow history lesson as well. imagery is excellent. good luck~
love,
barbara

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2011


reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
    Thank you so much for the great review. Glad you enjoyed it. Love, Y.
reply by babylonia on 06-Jan-2011
    y,
    you are very welcome~
    love,
    barbara
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
Excellent
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I appreciate both the art and craft of this poem: the flawless imabic pentameter; the consistent rhyme scheme; beauty of language and concepts (for instance, "You brought me wealth beyond the human dream,/and not in gold alone); the clear and interesting way the story unfolds. The presentation is lovely and the notes interesting and informative. Good luck to you. Jeanie Mercer

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2011


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2011
    Thank you so much for the great review. Happy New Year! Love and blessings, Y.
Comment from sidone
Excellent
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True words I hear for your heart is sincere filled with care yes my brother from another mother your poem is a honor and peace with you my brother,keep up the good work,blessing

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2010


reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
    Thank you so much for the great review.
Comment from mumsyone
Excellent
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This is a beautiful tribute to both Mahammad and Khadijah, especially after reading your previous poem about Khadijah. Are both the -ad and -ed endings permissible in the spelling of Mahammad? I notice you have used both.

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2010


reply by the author on 05-Jan-2011
    Thank you so much, I appreciate your great review.
Comment from AlvinTEthington
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is stunningly beautiful. Although in the wider definition of the ode, the three stanzas in English sonnet form flow quite well. You have performed a great service in introducing the reader to the Prophet's (peace be upon him) love for Khadijah. You show well how Khadijah is an embodiment of Muslim virtues. Perfect iambic pentameter throughout and excellent execution of the abab cdcd efef gg rhyme scheme. The only comments I would suggest is first, to change She consoled him when rough time hit them to She consoled him when rough times hit them in the author's notes. I also would need more references for Arabia in the time of the jahiliyyah being female-favored. Finally, the correct transliteration of Muhammad should be consistent in the author's notes. However, those concerns do not affect the work itself, which is stunning. You did your homework well and this is a good introduction to the early history of Islam for Westerners.

 Comment Written 18-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 18-Oct-2010
    Thank you for your exceptional review and the honor of six stars. This was a very challenging contest, and I have learned a lot in the process. I appreciate your compliment; and I will think of your suggstions. It is one of the most educational contests I have ever participated in. Thank you for hosting it.
Comment from nora arjuna
Excellent
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hi, i was browsing the contests and decided to check on your entry for this particular contest. as a muslim, i tried to read with an open mind, from your POV. still, i felt the need to comment on these few lines:

I knew, the treasure of [the gods] I found. - you might have referred to the time when he hadn't been to Hira, but taking into consideration the time this ode was written, or thought of, he already believed that God is one. so in my opinion, it's not proper to use 'the gods'.

so soft and pliant under my caress. - i know this is to express love and affection, but it is not of his nature to do so in words that suggest a certain level of intimacy. in Islam, what goes on between husband and wife is entirely behind closed doors. it's been mentioned that the Prophet carried out his duty towards his wife in the dark.

I received the revelation from God! - suggest to replace 'God' with 'Allah' as Muhammad would definitely referred to Him as such.

Best wishes to you in the contest.

 Comment Written 14-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
    I appreciate your feedback. I have to think about your suggestions and decide if I want to change anything. As far as "God" is concerned, most of the reference/research materials I used had the word "God" when talking about the prophet receiving a revelation. As to the expression of endearment ("soft and pliant") was done within limits, I believe. Don't forget, it is not Muhammad talking, it is the narrator - and thousands of years after he lived and died. I had to modernize this work to make it accesible to the public; not to make it archaic and forgive me, dull. I do appreciate your feedback, though - I love the workshop aspect of this site; and honesty is a quintessential part of it.

    Blessings and love, Y.
reply by nora arjuna on 15-Oct-2010
    yes, of course it's not Muhammad s.a.w. talking, but the narrator puts himself in the Prophet's POV. i checked the contest again, i think it's more proper to write an ode to him, rather than him to his wife. muslims would never put themselves in his thoughts for they are beyond their limits. whatever was written was from words spoken by him. anyway, i understand the way you see it, being of different faith. just honestly stating my views. :)

reply by the author on 15-Oct-2010
    I appreciate your input.
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
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Thank you for the most informative author's notes as I was totally unfamiliar with this remarkable woman.
Each of your verses is in strong sonnet form with abab quatrains followed by a rhyming couplet and steady iambic pentameter.
You tell this story from the point of view of her husband Muhammad in a most engaging way that shows his extreme appreciation for her great qualities. Brooke

 Comment Written 10-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
    Thank you so much, Brooke, for the great review. I highly appreciate your compliment. This was a very serious work, took a lot of research; I chose to do this ode as a combination of three sonnets. I had to include detailed author note as a lot of readers may not be familiar with this part of history. Love, Y.
Comment from Ronni
Excellent
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This is a very compelling and meticously detailed
account of Khadijah and Muhammad; their meeting,
marriage, life and love together; in a most incisive
and deeply introspective reflection. A love story
rivaling and reigning among the most legendary and
consequential throughout the ages. A bond of troth,
faith and fidelity between them that served as anchor
for Muhammad, and Khadijah being his ever fortuitous
and forbearing beacon of light and encouragement.
Khadijah also, according to recorded history so
exhaustively included in this Ode; was the champion
and example of the truly pristine tenets, beliefs and
teachings of the original Muslim/Islamic faith.
She enabled Muhammad not to fear being designated a
Prophet for Alah; despite his own doubts and his
Quarish opponents; and persevered nonetheless.
Outstanding and dedicated research and revelations
shared in this Ode; profoundly presented in artwork
and chronology of events and abiding truths.

 Comment Written 10-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
    Thank you, dear reviewer, for the most incredible, detailed, intelligent and complimentary review. This was a very challenging subject, and I had to include detailed author notes, as this subject is unfamiliar to many. Thank you again. Much love and blessings.
Comment from psalmist
Excellent
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I am reminded of Prov. 31: the heart of her husband trusts in her..he praises her. These words ring true no matter the religion. You have done a wonderful and beautifully poetic job of bringing out the life of this remarkable woman. Well done.

 Comment Written 10-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010
    Thank you so much for the great review; I truly appreciate it.
Comment from fdgsr
Excellent
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An excellent ode to Khadijah. You mention in your notes that there were four surviving daughters. There is some confusion about the daughters. Some evidence exists that only one is their's, Fatima. Some of the others, you can research it, may have been from Khadijah's two previous marriages and adopted by The Prophet, or orphans of other mothers related to Muhammad, and taken for protection and raised as their own. Thus, the designation of Um Fatima by some, though the order of age is unknown for certainty. You mentioned numerous facts and suppositions supported by the evidence of their union. I have even suspected that Khadijah could read and write, though women of the time and even to this day not educated to the level of men. Too bad Muhammad did not make that a centerpiece for his 'revelation'. It would have prevented the abuse of women in Islam now practiced and even celebrated in the Muslim world. (Christianity went through the same process to elevate women) Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 10-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2010
    Thank you so much for the great review. I appreciate it.