True
Kyrielle37 total reviews
Comment from Jean Lutz
I wish there were more poems like this. So many times are heroes are forgotten. I spent time in the Air Force many years ago and I treasure the memories.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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I wish there were more poems like this. So many times are heroes are forgotten. I spent time in the Air Force many years ago and I treasure the memories.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Hi Jean Lutz,
thank you so much for reading and reviewing, and for the kind comments.
The Air Force sounds fascinating - have you written about your time there?
Thanks again - Cally :)))
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Most of it is just confined to memories -- just about all pleasant ones.
Comment from Tillom Gliss
Kyrielle or not ( I can't rate on that), this is a remarkable piece! Excellent cadence and perfect rhymes. The repetition of the last line worked to keep the pace slower as would be required given the subject matter. I'm thinking it almost gave it a sense of reverence. Like chanting.
And then on top of all that you have succeeded in giving each repetition new meaning with the varying meanings of the word "true".
This is deserving of a dozen sixes, Cally! And there never was a thing more true!
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Kyrielle or not ( I can't rate on that), this is a remarkable piece! Excellent cadence and perfect rhymes. The repetition of the last line worked to keep the pace slower as would be required given the subject matter. I'm thinking it almost gave it a sense of reverence. Like chanting.
And then on top of all that you have succeeded in giving each repetition new meaning with the varying meanings of the word "true".
This is deserving of a dozen sixes, Cally! And there never was a thing more true!
Comment Written 17-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
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Hi Jo,
thank you so much for your oh so thoughtful and encouraging review. Please know I appreciate your support greatly - Cally :)))))
Comment from Ms Linda
Excellent, heart wrenching and powerful message. I loved it. You should be proud too that it has reached all time best status. Well written. Linda
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2010
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Excellent, heart wrenching and powerful message. I loved it. You should be proud too that it has reached all time best status. Well written. Linda
Comment Written 15-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2010
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Hi Linda,
thank you so much for reviewing and for your kind comments! They are very much appreciated - Cally :)))
Comment from percival86jack
This last verse sums up the utter futility of war...
"Just one more life snuffed out too soon,
while feeding evil's scheming tune,
and peoples' greed and anger too,
there never was a thing more true."
Very passionately written, my friend... cheers, Jack
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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This last verse sums up the utter futility of war...
"Just one more life snuffed out too soon,
while feeding evil's scheming tune,
and peoples' greed and anger too,
there never was a thing more true."
Very passionately written, my friend... cheers, Jack
Comment Written 14-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Hi Jack,
thank you for reviewing, much appreciated! Cally :)
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
WELL WRITTEN NEEDS NO EDIT IT FLOWS WELL AND IMAGERY your art work is chosen well to blend in with your script.Thanks for sharing with me.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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WELL WRITTEN NEEDS NO EDIT IT FLOWS WELL AND IMAGERY your art work is chosen well to blend in with your script.Thanks for sharing with me.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Hi Mary,
thank you so much for reviewing, your encouragement and support are very warmly welcomed - Cally :)))
Comment from patmedium
What a stunning piece of work, Cally. This is an exceptional poem. I like the message. I like the style. I like the notes below. Congratulations. Pat.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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What a stunning piece of work, Cally. This is an exceptional poem. I like the message. I like the style. I like the notes below. Congratulations. Pat.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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You do NOT want to know how long this took me to write!! LOL
Thank you so much for reviewing, Pat, your comments mean a lot to me, and I am so glad you like!! Have a good afternoon - Cally xxxxx
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The afternoon will be a granny nap, dear ... it's the group meeting tonight. xxx
Comment from markk
Beautiful poem and so touching as a story of one dying in battle for their country. What a sad situation it is and how unnecessary our wars. well written and touching.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Beautiful poem and so touching as a story of one dying in battle for their country. What a sad situation it is and how unnecessary our wars. well written and touching.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Hi markk,
thank you for your thought-filled review and kind comments - Cally :)
Comment from JeJo
This is such a sad, but well-written, tale of a young soldier in the warfield, dying for his country. This story is told very well, with poignant emotion surrounding his entering the occupation, his death, and his family's heartbreak.
The refrain of this Kyrielle is effective and does take on many meanings. "There never was a thing more true." Great job of using this line smoothly at the end of each stanza.
The meter and rhymes are very good and help aid the story.
one thing:
Young Jorg, eighteen, conscripted, scared, - didn't you mean 'John'
Great job at trying your hand at the Kyrielle! I love this form as well :) Good luck in the quatrain contest! All the best, Jen
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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This is such a sad, but well-written, tale of a young soldier in the warfield, dying for his country. This story is told very well, with poignant emotion surrounding his entering the occupation, his death, and his family's heartbreak.
The refrain of this Kyrielle is effective and does take on many meanings. "There never was a thing more true." Great job of using this line smoothly at the end of each stanza.
The meter and rhymes are very good and help aid the story.
one thing:
Young Jorg, eighteen, conscripted, scared, - didn't you mean 'John'
Great job at trying your hand at the Kyrielle! I love this form as well :) Good luck in the quatrain contest! All the best, Jen
Comment Written 13-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Hi JeJo, thank you for such a detailed review (as always) - it is very helpful! I am glad you did not find the refrain too repetitive and thought it was smoothly fitted with the rest of the stanza's.
Jorg is the man (boy) who kills John. I wanted to have as a similar a name as possible, and the same age for both the boys, so that hopefully it comes across that they are very similar - that we are all the same with similar feelings, dreams etc. (obviously it worked a little too well as you thought they were the same person! LOLOL)
Thanks again - Cally :))))))
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lol, I get it now! There are two people! yes, we are all the same. If we look back to the Civil War or almost any war, each side is made of people who feel just the same.
Comment from InHisownwrite
There never was a thing more true.......
Love this all the way through......
Our soldiers are honorable, and some don't really see the trauma up ahead..... Love it all the way through....
But I especially love the last two verses...
Bryan
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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There never was a thing more true.......
Love this all the way through......
Our soldiers are honorable, and some don't really see the trauma up ahead..... Love it all the way through....
But I especially love the last two verses...
Bryan
Comment Written 13-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Hi Bryan,
thank you so much for reviewing; your kind and thoughtful comments are much appreciated - Cally :)
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi fairydancer,
This is a fabulous poem and one I enjoyed reading from the first line to the last. Your iambic tetrameter is true and the rhyme is music to the ear. I like the Kyrlelle poetry form but forget about them until I read one. You have told a story that will stay in the mind of your readers for a long time. Well done and good luck in the contest. Sorry I am sixless. Blessings, chey
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Hi fairydancer,
This is a fabulous poem and one I enjoyed reading from the first line to the last. Your iambic tetrameter is true and the rhyme is music to the ear. I like the Kyrlelle poetry form but forget about them until I read one. You have told a story that will stay in the mind of your readers for a long time. Well done and good luck in the contest. Sorry I am sixless. Blessings, chey
Comment Written 13-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2010
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Hi chey,
your wonderful review means a lot to me, I really appreciate such encouraging comments from a poet I really admire - I envy (in the nicest possible way) your amazing ability with form and meter - THANK YOU! Cally :)
