Comment from R. K. Alan

Excellent

I enjoyed this poem, the cadence and the rhythm of the piece. I particularly enjoyed the imagery... "one maiden's liquid soft brown eyes" lovely. Thanks for sharing and good luck with the contest. Ray aka Krylon

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2010

Yes, I love that phrase--it took me literally hours to write it. Thanks for a great review and for noting the cadence and the rhythm. I truly appreciate it.

Comment from telespectral

Excellent

You did a wonderful job at writing this poem. Your style fits this contest so perfectly. It is well written, flows well and I believe stands a good chance at winning this contest.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2010

Thanks for a a great review; I truly appreciate it.

Comment from chells36

Excellent

Oh how very true this is LOL
The crux of this story is if in doubt get plastered stumble over your blocks then pick yourself up and start again
There might just be a better day out there for all of us
This is a thought provoking poem
this is a well written piece
The meter is good and the flow is very smooth
thanks for an interesting read xx

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2010

Thanks for stating this poem is thought-provoking. I like all my works to be that way.

Comment from Connie P

Excellent

This is outstanding. The story you tell is captivating. There are several lines that deliver tremendous impact, but my favorite is:
Dark bruises are discovered on my soul;
My body has fresh ones to correspond.
Good luck with your fabulous entry,
Connie

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2010

Yes, I like the parallelism of those two phrases, as well. Thanks for a great review.

Comment from lucyanne1977

Excellent

A good poem however I not understand what it was about. I didn't mark you down for this as it is my error and not yours. The flow and the wording were very good. So well done and good luck.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2010

If you can tell me what you don't understand, I would be quite willing to work with you to see how we can interact better as writer and reader. Thanks for your compliments about the flow and wording and for a good review.

Comment from Aislinge

Excellent

Nicely done! The piece reads smoothly, with a flowing meter. Descriptions are vivid, painting a picture in the reader's mind of pain and trouble, then the quiet of a Mexican village during siesta.

Thank you for a great read!

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2010

Thanks for understanding the thematic flow of the poem and for a good review; I truly appreciate both.

Comment from M. Karol

Exceptional

What a wonderful poem. The soul that bears the trauma of mind and body gets the reprieve, rather life once again.
Loved the last para and especially the closing lines.
I do not know the intricacies of strict poetry writing but the overall effect is impactful.
Madhvi

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2010

Thanks for an exceptional and insightful review; I truly appreciate it. I like the ending as well.

Comment from rudywalsh

Excellent

Very well written, a nice dreamy adventure through the streets of ancient Mexico.
Very well presented, spot on.
A lovely rhyming scheme that works exceptionaly well, blank verse, something iv'e yet to try myself.
Captivating with lots of detail for the reader to ponder on.
Very creative and well thought-out, best wishes to you in the contest...Rudy

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2010

I do encourage you to write blank verse. It's very difficult but very rewarding. Thanks for a great review.

Comment from JennieClare

Exceptional

This is a beautiful poem - very well constructed - it takes the reader from sorrow to hapiness in love. I really like the phrase 'liquid soft brown eyes'. I also love the way that the first half is quite different from the second in that it makes the reader feel quite opposite emotions. Very well done.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2010

Thanks for an exceptional review and for understanding the flow of the poem. I also like the phrase liquid soft brown eyes very much.

Comment from Realist101

Excellent

Hello, judging by what you have written in your notes, this poem is perfectly done. A very difficult style too, with your meaning conveyed in a heartfelt way. Nice work! Very enjoyable...Susan

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2010

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reply by the author on 02-Sep-2010

Thanks for a great review and for noting the difficulty of this poem. I appreciate both.