A Street of Ancient Mexico
a blank verse poem133 total reviews
Comment from LoveLifeKnight
i really enjoyed this poem and the story it tells. the artwork fits beautifully, bringing the readers to the setting without distracting us from the words or giving away too much
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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i really enjoyed this poem and the story it tells. the artwork fits beautifully, bringing the readers to the setting without distracting us from the words or giving away too much
Comment Written 01-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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Thanks for a great review; I am glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from MitchellScott
An interesting poem of ones troubles, love lost and love found. I wish you good luck in the blank verse contest. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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An interesting poem of ones troubles, love lost and love found. I wish you good luck in the blank verse contest. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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Thanks for a great review; I truly appreciate it.
Comment from rosah
very beautiful poem, of a lost soul, then finding God, finding love, being found, loved the artwork you chose, goes nicely with poem,thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2010
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very beautiful poem, of a lost soul, then finding God, finding love, being found, loved the artwork you chose, goes nicely with poem,thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2010
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Thanks for a great review; I truly appreciate it. You understood the flow of the poem well.
Comment from G.Denton
I very much enjoyed reading this, but more so the explanation you have given, which helps someone beginning like myself to understand a little more about english literature, thanks!
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2010
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I very much enjoyed reading this, but more so the explanation you have given, which helps someone beginning like myself to understand a little more about english literature, thanks!
Comment Written 30-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2010
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Thanks. People's opinions vary greatly on author's notes. I am glad you found mine helpful. Thanks also for a good review.
Comment from ROBbury
This is an extremely interesting poem which I read twice. Always amazed when a poem tells a story in such few words. This was a smooth and very easy read. Interesting phrases such as " the diverse and sundry ways" make this an outstanding poem.
Nicely done
ROB
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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This is an extremely interesting poem which I read twice. Always amazed when a poem tells a story in such few words. This was a smooth and very easy read. Interesting phrases such as " the diverse and sundry ways" make this an outstanding poem.
Nicely done
ROB
Comment Written 29-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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I am impressed when someone reads my poem twice. Thank you for such a superb review.
Comment from chita
You have great artwork and your arthor notes are superb-You are descriptive in this poem and you have a calming flow with your poem--You write about a relationship that has ended and you are hurt but you found love in the end--well done.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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You have great artwork and your arthor notes are superb-You are descriptive in this poem and you have a calming flow with your poem--You write about a relationship that has ended and you are hurt but you found love in the end--well done.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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Thanks for a great review. I especially like that you mention the author's notes; people have mixed views about them, and I am glad you are supportive of my writing them.
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Yes--when I review I look at everything and I am glad that you like that--you did a great job:))
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Yes--when I review I look at everything and I am glad that you like that--you did a great job:))
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Thank you.
Comment from Addy García
CONGRATULATIONS, this poem is very beautiful, I was honored to read it.
On behalf of this earth that trembles in hurricanes and lives by love, with women beautiful eyes and barbarous souls, love and dreams, vibrates and cries and is the daughter of the sun I say THANK YOU.
GARCIA ADDY
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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CONGRATULATIONS, this poem is very beautiful, I was honored to read it.
On behalf of this earth that trembles in hurricanes and lives by love, with women beautiful eyes and barbarous souls, love and dreams, vibrates and cries and is the daughter of the sun I say THANK YOU.
GARCIA ADDY
Comment Written 29-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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Thank you for such a Latin-inspired review of my poem. One of my major influences is Isabella Allende; you can see that here. You write magnificent reviews; thanks for this one.
Comment from Amicus
This is a good poem and a solid entry into the blank verse contest. I enjoyed reading it and found the story of a spirit resurrected after a failed love relationship and a bout with active alcoholism to be inspirational. I like the setting in Mexico and the apt and well used references to siesta and the Aztec insomniac princess who saw the lovable real man beneath the veneer of corpse he projected.
I would suggest a couple of revisions for you to ponder to smooth out what I found a somewhat difficult flow in the first stanza...how about view rather than see in line one to pick up the v sound and in line three how about doing away with tumbled over which I stumbled :>) and introduce some alliterative f's...I fell from drink when you first closed the door is my suggested revision...seems somewhat smoother to me. Also, I think you have a typo in stanza two, line three...retreat needs an s doesn't it? Desire....retreat(s).
Good poem but I think it might be stronger if tweaked a bit...still better than most entries in the contest that I have read. Good luck.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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This is a good poem and a solid entry into the blank verse contest. I enjoyed reading it and found the story of a spirit resurrected after a failed love relationship and a bout with active alcoholism to be inspirational. I like the setting in Mexico and the apt and well used references to siesta and the Aztec insomniac princess who saw the lovable real man beneath the veneer of corpse he projected.
I would suggest a couple of revisions for you to ponder to smooth out what I found a somewhat difficult flow in the first stanza...how about view rather than see in line one to pick up the v sound and in line three how about doing away with tumbled over which I stumbled :>) and introduce some alliterative f's...I fell from drink when you first closed the door is my suggested revision...seems somewhat smoother to me. Also, I think you have a typo in stanza two, line three...retreat needs an s doesn't it? Desire....retreat(s).
Good poem but I think it might be stronger if tweaked a bit...still better than most entries in the contest that I have read. Good luck.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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I printed out the review and went over the poem carefully. I think changing see to view might cause the alliteration in the first line to border on the tedious. As regards your second comment, I think first implies that she closed the door more than once, and that was not the vision I had in mind. I took your very wise third suggestion.
Of course, all reviewing is subjective (at least to some extent), so I would like to dialogue with you about this. Do you think there can be too much alliteration? I would like to know your opinion on that. Also, what do think is the function of time and especially chronology in poetry? I am also curious to know your opinion on that.
Thank you for a good and most helpful review.
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Hi Alvin, I tend to think a great deal of reviewing especially when the poet is competent and mature is subjective...at least, much of mine is...and I offer up my suggestions always in a collegial workshop state of mind for that is how I think.
Oh sure there can be too much alliteration...bad poetry is full of too much of most techniques...finding the right balance is always part of the poet's job is it not? :>) As for time and chronology in a poem, I think that depends on the intent of the poet and the content of the poem...dream sequences and surrealistic scenario's certainly would differ from a straight forward ballad or story in a poem in the way time is used--and highly skilled poets can time shift credibly and enhance a poem while less skilled poets often simply botch the internal logic of the piece when they try. For me time and how it is used usually functions as an anchor in most poetry, it places me where the poet wishes me to be just as setting does.
You are right that my suggested use of first could imply that the door was closed more than once...I had overlooked that...my focus really was on replacing the word tumbled which was a tongue stumbler for me and I had no appropriate two syllable word that came to mind. Good to talk poetry with you, my friend.
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Good to speak to you as well. I was thinking of the word for a certain kind of glass ,tumbler, which is the same in Spanish as in English. Thanks again for you very analytic review.
Comment from laren
This is a very nice poem which tell us about God's unknown ways to rescue and bring back faith. Strong feelings are shown. I can't say much about technics, I wish my English would be better, I only can talk about meaning and the way the poem makes me feel and I think this one is wonderful!
Congratulations!
Laren
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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This is a very nice poem which tell us about God's unknown ways to rescue and bring back faith. Strong feelings are shown. I can't say much about technics, I wish my English would be better, I only can talk about meaning and the way the poem makes me feel and I think this one is wonderful!
Congratulations!
Laren
Comment Written 29-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2010
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Thanks for a great review. This is a very Latin-influenced poem; I wish I could have written it in Spanish, but blank verse is hard enough in English! Thanks again.
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I liked your poem very much, thank you for sharing,
Laren
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You're welcome.
Comment from dmtme4fun
I like your art work and appreicate your careful detail to the pronunciation of your words in each line. I also like how your poem started out with a gloomier past but love was found after all. Good job!
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2010
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I like your art work and appreicate your careful detail to the pronunciation of your words in each line. I also like how your poem started out with a gloomier past but love was found after all. Good job!
Comment Written 29-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2010
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Thanks for understanding the care that went into this poem. I also am glad you appreciated the flow. Overall, thanks for a good review.
