Pathway to Forever
When Life Throws a Curve.....38 total reviews
Comment from Realist101
HI Carol!! This is powerful, I can truly FEEL the anger in this young man. Your words SHOW us how he feels so clearly and so realistically. VERY excellente' my friend!! Happy to see you here!! Love! Susan
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
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HI Carol!! This is powerful, I can truly FEEL the anger in this young man. Your words SHOW us how he feels so clearly and so realistically. VERY excellente' my friend!! Happy to see you here!! Love! Susan
Comment Written 02-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
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Been gone for so long and can't return as yet..but I needed to say thank you for the suppport. Smiles, Carol
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HI Carol!! I have thought about you often! I am trying to paint and redo this kitchen, and we too, have many house problems...the neighbors being the worst...but I hope and pray you will get settled and back to FS asap! I sure wish I could help you somehow. Hang in there!! GOOD/GREAT to hear from you!! HUGS!!! Susan
Comment from KYPollard/El Gato
outside of Carla's caf©
outside of Carla's cafe
This is a well written, beginning, my friend. I wish you well in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
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outside of Carla's caf©
outside of Carla's cafe
This is a well written, beginning, my friend. I wish you well in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
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Been gone for so long and can't return as yet..but I needed to say thank you for the suppport. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Janis Morris
This is really well written. I was so into it that I barely even looked for errors. Usually if a story is not entertaining to me, I will focus only on finding errors. I didn't do this at all. Your descriptions were lovely and I could plainly see the town that you were describing. I did happen to find a couple of typos, though not your fault. It was probably some sort of error with this website.
On a summer day if you drive through town square, you would see a few old retirees gathered outside the barbershop, a young girl selling flowers outside of Carla's (caf©)(?) and the sign in the American Legion Hall promoting the (Friday night fish fry).
(Part of cafe has a copyright symbol in it. That was probably a computer error. Where the question mark is, there should be a comma. "Friday night fish fry" should all be capitalized since it is the name of something specific.)
"He works with his mom at their family-owned (caf©)..."
(Again the symbol is in there.)
Anyway, that was all I found. This sounded really interesting. Best of luck in the contest. I will be interested to see how well this does. It sounds great.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
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This is really well written. I was so into it that I barely even looked for errors. Usually if a story is not entertaining to me, I will focus only on finding errors. I didn't do this at all. Your descriptions were lovely and I could plainly see the town that you were describing. I did happen to find a couple of typos, though not your fault. It was probably some sort of error with this website.
On a summer day if you drive through town square, you would see a few old retirees gathered outside the barbershop, a young girl selling flowers outside of Carla's (caf©)(?) and the sign in the American Legion Hall promoting the (Friday night fish fry).
(Part of cafe has a copyright symbol in it. That was probably a computer error. Where the question mark is, there should be a comma. "Friday night fish fry" should all be capitalized since it is the name of something specific.)
"He works with his mom at their family-owned (caf©)..."
(Again the symbol is in there.)
Anyway, that was all I found. This sounded really interesting. Best of luck in the contest. I will be interested to see how well this does. It sounds great.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
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Been gone for so long and can't return as yet..but I needed to say thank you for the suppport. Smiles, Carol
Comment from RazberryBullet
Quite a dramatic scene here, especially at the end. There's a plethora of sentences beginning with -ing words: Nearing/Slaming/Returning/Pausing/Refusing/Swearing, etc. You might want to mix it up more.
suggestions: twists and turns clouding, and sometimes changing/.>,/our lives forever...Swearing under his /breathe>breath/ at his mud(-)stained jeans
Good job!
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
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Quite a dramatic scene here, especially at the end. There's a plethora of sentences beginning with -ing words: Nearing/Slaming/Returning/Pausing/Refusing/Swearing, etc. You might want to mix it up more.
suggestions: twists and turns clouding, and sometimes changing/.>,/our lives forever...Swearing under his /breathe>breath/ at his mud(-)stained jeans
Good job!
Comment Written 01-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
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Been gone for so long and can't return as yet..but I needed to say thank you for the suppport. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Rama Rao
An intriguing last page of a novel. If James or the reader didn't know by the last page where it all went wrong, then there is definitely a problem. However, that is the way life is. We often do not know where we had gone wrong. I could empathise with James and his anguish.
Things go wrong for so many inexplicable and incomprehensible things. It's difficult to unravel this mystery in life.
A very well written last page.
I wish you good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
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An intriguing last page of a novel. If James or the reader didn't know by the last page where it all went wrong, then there is definitely a problem. However, that is the way life is. We often do not know where we had gone wrong. I could empathise with James and his anguish.
Things go wrong for so many inexplicable and incomprehensible things. It's difficult to unravel this mystery in life.
A very well written last page.
I wish you good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
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Been gone for so long and can't return as yet..but I needed to say thank you for the suppport. Smiles, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I know this is a contest entry, but you captured my attention and I want to read more. I am hoping this is one of your stories that takes on a life of it's own. I see real possibilities.
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
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I know this is a contest entry, but you captured my attention and I want to read more. I am hoping this is one of your stories that takes on a life of it's own. I see real possibilities.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
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Barbara,
Thankyou as always, Carol
Comment from Trybuck
Quite the beginning to what could be a great novel, depending on how you decide to carry it forward. Very well done, as always, Buck
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
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Quite the beginning to what could be a great novel, depending on how you decide to carry it forward. Very well done, as always, Buck
Comment Written 01-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Sep-2010
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Buck,
Thank you as always, Carol
Comment from misscookie
Wow this is very powerful writing. I couldn't stop reading it.
You had my attention from the first line to the last one. Never a dull moment.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2010
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Wow this is very powerful writing. I couldn't stop reading it.
You had my attention from the first line to the last one. Never a dull moment.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2010
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Cookie,
Thank yuou so much...I haven[t had much time on this site because life is spinning out of control.Glad you liked it.
Hope all is well with you my friend,
Smiles, Carol
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I know life doesn't seemed to want to slow dowsn some time huh. talk later okay?
