Walkabout
Going walkabout is Aboriginal Dreamtime.28 total reviews
Comment from Sally Carter
What a truly magical flight of the imagination.
The opening lines are a wonderful launch pad for your journey!
I really would find it hard to pick out favourite lines, because the whole works so perfectly together.
I specially loved the last six lines, and how your friends would understand where you have gone.
Really superb!
Sally
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
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What a truly magical flight of the imagination.
The opening lines are a wonderful launch pad for your journey!
I really would find it hard to pick out favourite lines, because the whole works so perfectly together.
I specially loved the last six lines, and how your friends would understand where you have gone.
Really superb!
Sally
Comment Written 12-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
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Sally, Thanks so much for reading, glad you liked the poem. Blessings, Kay.
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Aussie ...
The view from a wheelchair, with a mind such as yours, is such that your words inspire your readers and provide them with plenty of vivid imagery.
There is nothing to suggest changing.
I specially like your opening line ....
When the stars trip over the sky tonight, I shall be gone.
Thank you for sharing this with us. It is beautiful.
Love from ..... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
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Hullo Aussie ...
The view from a wheelchair, with a mind such as yours, is such that your words inspire your readers and provide them with plenty of vivid imagery.
There is nothing to suggest changing.
I specially like your opening line ....
When the stars trip over the sky tonight, I shall be gone.
Thank you for sharing this with us. It is beautiful.
Love from ..... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
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Thank you my dear friend; ones imagination is heightened when one is chair-bound. Blessings, Kay.
Comment from the old guy
Lady, you have a gift from God! I have yet to read one of yours that is not phenomenal. This particular piece sent my mind off to places I've been hiding from for a while. For this, I thank you so very much!
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
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Lady, you have a gift from God! I have yet to read one of yours that is not phenomenal. This particular piece sent my mind off to places I've been hiding from for a while. For this, I thank you so very much!
Comment Written 12-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
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Dear Young Fella, Thanks so much, glad you went tripping around the Universe; we need to look beyond our old bodies. Love, Kay.
Comment from jlsavell
Kay, it truly baffles me why I am unable to give you a six. For one, I have not used any at all this week and I cannot remember the last time i gave you one. I have to ask Tom..it does not seem right..
this is truly exceptional free form..as always your words deliver such beauty and eloquence. Phrases such as
When the stars trip over the sky tonight..creative personification
I'm going where I can talk to the tempests
And ride on raindrops. incredible verbiage
For the wind will lend me a home-bound breeze to sail upon.
Love how personify the wind..
the ending just superb..just tell them
I've gone chasing after rainbows,
They'll understand.
totally wraps up the poem magnificently..jimi
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
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Kay, it truly baffles me why I am unable to give you a six. For one, I have not used any at all this week and I cannot remember the last time i gave you one. I have to ask Tom..it does not seem right..
this is truly exceptional free form..as always your words deliver such beauty and eloquence. Phrases such as
When the stars trip over the sky tonight..creative personification
I'm going where I can talk to the tempests
And ride on raindrops. incredible verbiage
For the wind will lend me a home-bound breeze to sail upon.
Love how personify the wind..
the ending just superb..just tell them
I've gone chasing after rainbows,
They'll understand.
totally wraps up the poem magnificently..jimi
Comment Written 12-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
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Jimi, Thank you dear one, so pleased you enjoyed the ride. Love, Kay.
Comment from Razz
Very cool.
So very delightful to read.
Imagery is awesome.
Photo is wonderful.
Rhyme is perfectly on time.
I'm going where promises are kept
And I shall come home only after the days
Have taught me to love and be free.
You will know when I am returning
For the wind will lend me a home-bound breeze to sail upon.
Thank you for the smile.
Razz
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
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Very cool.
So very delightful to read.
Imagery is awesome.
Photo is wonderful.
Rhyme is perfectly on time.
I'm going where promises are kept
And I shall come home only after the days
Have taught me to love and be free.
You will know when I am returning
For the wind will lend me a home-bound breeze to sail upon.
Thank you for the smile.
Razz
Comment Written 12-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
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Razz, Thanks so much for reviewing; glad you enjoyed the journey. Blessings, Kay.
Comment from fionageorge
You are so right, my fellow Aussie. Great little poem, and that stunning artwork. I liked your reference to going walk-about, and this poem has a definite aboriginal flavour.
I thought you might like to put some explanatory for to all the FSians to know about the 'dream time' and 'going walk-about'. Of course, I understand this poem, but not sure everybody will. Thanks for sharing my friend, and warmest regards, Marijke
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
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You are so right, my fellow Aussie. Great little poem, and that stunning artwork. I liked your reference to going walk-about, and this poem has a definite aboriginal flavour.
I thought you might like to put some explanatory for to all the FSians to know about the 'dream time' and 'going walk-about'. Of course, I understand this poem, but not sure everybody will. Thanks for sharing my friend, and warmest regards, Marijke
Comment Written 12-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
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Marijke, Thank you my friend; so far so good, the Americans love it. Blessings, Kay.
Comment from chita
You have great artwork and your author notes are give good detail.I like how you give definition about walkabout so people will have clarity in what you are writing about.I love everything about this poem and you have good rhythm and rhyme.You give great description all through your poem that I can just put myself in that place where you are which seems to be so beautiful.I love the line in the second stanza where you write that you are going to love a place where promises are kept and you will come home after the days have -- you have been taugt to love and be free. That really is a powerful line to me but your poem is superb in every way.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
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You have great artwork and your author notes are give good detail.I like how you give definition about walkabout so people will have clarity in what you are writing about.I love everything about this poem and you have good rhythm and rhyme.You give great description all through your poem that I can just put myself in that place where you are which seems to be so beautiful.I love the line in the second stanza where you write that you are going to love a place where promises are kept and you will come home after the days have -- you have been taugt to love and be free. That really is a powerful line to me but your poem is superb in every way.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
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Chita, Thank you my friend; glad you enjoyed the journey. Blessings, Kay.
Comment from laren
This is a great poem which tell us about the best place to go. It's amazing for me how we feel almost the same, past week I wrote a poem and posted in the Spanish side which said more or less the same.
Congratulations!
Laren
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
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This is a great poem which tell us about the best place to go. It's amazing for me how we feel almost the same, past week I wrote a poem and posted in the Spanish side which said more or less the same.
Congratulations!
Laren
Comment Written 12-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
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Laren, Thanks so much for reviewing and glad we think alike. Cheers, Kay.
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Thank you for sharing,
Laren
Comment from misscookie
I love the artwork
It is perfect for your poem I love the movement and what you are so lovely expressing
Of a place everyone would love to be.
This is a good write.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
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I love the artwork
It is perfect for your poem I love the movement and what you are so lovely expressing
Of a place everyone would love to be.
This is a good write.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2010
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Thank you misscookie, glad you liked the journey. Cheers, Kay.
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You are very welcome, have a nice evening.
Comment from flygirl254
Good morning Aussie - or good evening for you now, I guess :-)
I am moved by your poem. From the opening line, I was drawn in. I think your separation of that first sentence from the rest of the poem not only gives it high emphasis, but it also adds to the feeling of separation as you tell us you, "shall be gone." It's a finality to the reader, announcing that you are taking us with you to this special place.
It is a place I would love to go as well. In this free verse style, it is a very interesting construction to break and also run your sentences to the next line. Because of that, the poem has this flow as it's read out loud, as though it's moving along on some beautifully poetic river. It's swift and it's a very sweet trip.
The only small thing for me to suggest, and it's definitely only a small suggestion, and one that you may have in there on purpose so as to not bog the poem in punctuation, is to put quotation marks in the second stanza's fourth line. This way I suggest would make it read - To say, "Hi." Otherwise, I think everything looks just fine as far as SPAG.
My favorite line is at the end with, "just tell them I've gone chasing after rainbows." I tell you, I am one of those who most certainly would understand.
This is a terrific poem of dreams and beauty. I like it very much. Great work!
Teresa
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
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Good morning Aussie - or good evening for you now, I guess :-)
I am moved by your poem. From the opening line, I was drawn in. I think your separation of that first sentence from the rest of the poem not only gives it high emphasis, but it also adds to the feeling of separation as you tell us you, "shall be gone." It's a finality to the reader, announcing that you are taking us with you to this special place.
It is a place I would love to go as well. In this free verse style, it is a very interesting construction to break and also run your sentences to the next line. Because of that, the poem has this flow as it's read out loud, as though it's moving along on some beautifully poetic river. It's swift and it's a very sweet trip.
The only small thing for me to suggest, and it's definitely only a small suggestion, and one that you may have in there on purpose so as to not bog the poem in punctuation, is to put quotation marks in the second stanza's fourth line. This way I suggest would make it read - To say, "Hi." Otherwise, I think everything looks just fine as far as SPAG.
My favorite line is at the end with, "just tell them I've gone chasing after rainbows." I tell you, I am one of those who most certainly would understand.
This is a terrific poem of dreams and beauty. I like it very much. Great work!
Teresa
Comment Written 12-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2010
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Thanks so much for taking the time, and glad you enjoyed the ride. Blessings, Kay.
