Full Pockets--Empty Heads
Big oil, small brains73 total reviews
Comment from scrittore
Ha! Love it! I also love your descriptive phrases. My favorites:
"...it was a uniquely depressing slate gray, the color of suicide."
"He wore an expression that suggested recent taxidermy."
Great job. Cheers.
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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Ha! Love it! I also love your descriptive phrases. My favorites:
"...it was a uniquely depressing slate gray, the color of suicide."
"He wore an expression that suggested recent taxidermy."
Great job. Cheers.
Comment Written 21-May-2010
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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Hi, Scittore. I certainly appreciate your fine review. Glad you liked the humor....
Comment from wierdgrace
Now again this is a great awesome story, the characters are great, the diologue, the information, and the picture is perfect. no errors and a perfect entry for the contest, good luck, hope you get lots of votes.
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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Now again this is a great awesome story, the characters are great, the diologue, the information, and the picture is perfect. no errors and a perfect entry for the contest, good luck, hope you get lots of votes.
Comment Written 21-May-2010
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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Thanks Grace. I always appreciate your support...
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you are welcome
Comment from k8edid
I like it. Certainly topical, and your depiction of a board room meeting is appropriately full of it. Good character description and again appropriately shallow. Maybe more depth that reflects some of that shallowness--does that make sense? I was waiting for something at the end--not a solution to the problem but some kind of epiphany or something.If the lack of a resolution is actually the point, then you need a bigger build up to that--more stupid ideas, more ass kissing. Great imagery--"gray, the color of suicide" and others of that ilk. The tone is consistent and all the boardroom cliches work very well.
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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I like it. Certainly topical, and your depiction of a board room meeting is appropriately full of it. Good character description and again appropriately shallow. Maybe more depth that reflects some of that shallowness--does that make sense? I was waiting for something at the end--not a solution to the problem but some kind of epiphany or something.If the lack of a resolution is actually the point, then you need a bigger build up to that--more stupid ideas, more ass kissing. Great imagery--"gray, the color of suicide" and others of that ilk. The tone is consistent and all the boardroom cliches work very well.
Comment Written 21-May-2010
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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Hi, K8..Welcome aboard Fanstory. I appreciate your generous review. As you get around on here, you will fnd variuos contests have certain rules...in this case...the limitation was 2000 words...My point is you can only do so much in that space...know what I mean...I could have made a book of it otherwise...LOL...
Comment from Heynonni
This is a good story and certainly timely. Your descriptions of persons are good indicators of there probably attitudes. he only part I didn't ring true was calling the group all CEO's. I have been retired for 3 yrs now, but when I was working CEO meant Chief Executive Officer and there was only one. His subordinates could be the president and various vice presidents. His superior would the Chairman of the Board. So I wondered why you called them all CEO's instead of VIP's of officers of the company, something like that. Good story tho, and your facts about the issues are pretty comprehensive. Good work all around.
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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This is a good story and certainly timely. Your descriptions of persons are good indicators of there probably attitudes. he only part I didn't ring true was calling the group all CEO's. I have been retired for 3 yrs now, but when I was working CEO meant Chief Executive Officer and there was only one. His subordinates could be the president and various vice presidents. His superior would the Chairman of the Board. So I wondered why you called them all CEO's instead of VIP's of officers of the company, something like that. Good story tho, and your facts about the issues are pretty comprehensive. Good work all around.
Comment Written 21-May-2010
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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Heyronni...You are right. I don't know squat about CEOs or board heads...this was just a fun write and tongue in cheek poke at big oil...I guess I should have done more research though...
Comment from Kashif Ali Abbas
Wow, tis funny. The tension in the lines was surprisingly crating powerful humor. The end was justified and enjoyed it all the way.
well done
K
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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Wow, tis funny. The tension in the lines was surprisingly crating powerful humor. The end was justified and enjoyed it all the way.
well done
K
Comment Written 21-May-2010
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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Thank you so much, Kashif.Your review is very encouraging...
Comment from Ash Madox
Very, very good. Kick 'em in the nuts with caustic humor! Excellent opening para, dang--and then some. Great writing that put me right in the room, and the descriptions were very choice with appropriate displays of the court jesters. This write exposes exactly how I imagine it to be--ego, cash before conscience, and blame shifting. Perfect ending too: no solution and an overpaid fool and his lackies. Very good entry.
Noticed a couple of minor edits for you:
You need a comma after these two in your third para--Chance Drummond and Operations U.S.
At 9:30 sharp, President >> I would be inclined to begin new para here. The previous is backstory. Here, you bring the audience focus directly back into the room again.
Chance[.]" She admired
get those lights for me[?]" Shipley
cabdriver >> two words?
Way to stick it to them, B, and an excellent take on the theme. Best of luck in the contest, though I doubt you'll need it :) Cheers, my friend. Ash.
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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Very, very good. Kick 'em in the nuts with caustic humor! Excellent opening para, dang--and then some. Great writing that put me right in the room, and the descriptions were very choice with appropriate displays of the court jesters. This write exposes exactly how I imagine it to be--ego, cash before conscience, and blame shifting. Perfect ending too: no solution and an overpaid fool and his lackies. Very good entry.
Noticed a couple of minor edits for you:
You need a comma after these two in your third para--Chance Drummond and Operations U.S.
At 9:30 sharp, President >> I would be inclined to begin new para here. The previous is backstory. Here, you bring the audience focus directly back into the room again.
Chance[.]" She admired
get those lights for me[?]" Shipley
cabdriver >> two words?
Way to stick it to them, B, and an excellent take on the theme. Best of luck in the contest, though I doubt you'll need it :) Cheers, my friend. Ash.
Comment Written 21-May-2010
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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Thank you, Ash...I appreciate your generous review and your help with the spags...Good man....Blessings
Comment from CKLA
I enjoyed this story. Combining humor with corporate bullshit made for an interesting story. Well done! Good luck in the contest.
Collette
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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I enjoyed this story. Combining humor with corporate bullshit made for an interesting story. Well done! Good luck in the contest.
Collette
Comment Written 21-May-2010
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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Thanks so much, Collette. I appreciate your review as always....Bob
Comment from Janine Ellis-Fynn
This is brilliant and what a clever way to hammer the message home. These corporate big wigs make me sick. The 'untouchables,' or so they think! One day they will get their just rewards though. I really believe that. Well done!
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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This is brilliant and what a clever way to hammer the message home. These corporate big wigs make me sick. The 'untouchables,' or so they think! One day they will get their just rewards though. I really believe that. Well done!
Comment Written 21-May-2010
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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Thanks so much for your review, Janine..I agree...Bob
Comment from Rama Rao
Superb.
LOL.
You made your point valid in an excellent way.
I enjoyed reading this piece more for its humor and the way used similes.
Ass that looked like a Golden Apple-this takes the cake. Golden Apple- here the capitalization, was it intentional to add emphasis?
It was like asking a nun for sex? Where on earth you could think of such an expression?
The description of the chauffeur is another matter that merits special praise.
Great Job.
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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Superb.
LOL.
You made your point valid in an excellent way.
I enjoyed reading this piece more for its humor and the way used similes.
Ass that looked like a Golden Apple-this takes the cake. Golden Apple- here the capitalization, was it intentional to add emphasis?
It was like asking a nun for sex? Where on earth you could think of such an expression?
The description of the chauffeur is another matter that merits special praise.
Great Job.
Comment Written 21-May-2010
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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Thank you, Ramarao. LOL...I am so glad you enjoyed this piece...I had caps on Delicious Apple because it's a brand name I thought...Am I wrong? Please respond on that if you can...thanks, Bob
Comment from minopavlic
As the saying goes, before there was any fiction, there was truth, meaning regardless of the story, it's based on real events. Either you're in the thick of things, or somehow bugged the boardroom. Written with explosive accuracy. A no holds barred story, which on its own merits has the potential of more than a contest entry.
no_obstacle
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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As the saying goes, before there was any fiction, there was truth, meaning regardless of the story, it's based on real events. Either you're in the thick of things, or somehow bugged the boardroom. Written with explosive accuracy. A no holds barred story, which on its own merits has the potential of more than a contest entry.
no_obstacle
Comment Written 21-May-2010
reply by the author on 21-May-2010
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Thank you, Mino. I appreciate your take on this piece...I tried to write it with as many real facts as I could squeeze in....Bob
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You did great Bob.
