Full Pockets--Empty Heads
Big oil, small brains73 total reviews
Comment from Jnetgame
Great job on this contest entry. You hit the nail on the head with this one. I agree that this oil spill clean up is really getting rediculous. Good luck.
reply by the author on 23-May-2010
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Great job on this contest entry. You hit the nail on the head with this one. I agree that this oil spill clean up is really getting rediculous. Good luck.
Comment Written 23-May-2010
reply by the author on 23-May-2010
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Thank you, Janet. I appreciate your review...Good luck to you, also....
Comment from marcellawachtel
This is a good story,replete with clever plays on words. Description of the characters is top-notch. My only criticism of this work is that we are not informed what system, if any, was used to do the job of stopping the oil from gushing. (I liked the gold balls one, myself) The board meeting was a parody of board meetings all over the world, well described and tongue-in-cheek funny
reply by the author on 23-May-2010
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This is a good story,replete with clever plays on words. Description of the characters is top-notch. My only criticism of this work is that we are not informed what system, if any, was used to do the job of stopping the oil from gushing. (I liked the gold balls one, myself) The board meeting was a parody of board meetings all over the world, well described and tongue-in-cheek funny
Comment Written 23-May-2010
reply by the author on 23-May-2010
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Ummmmm.Problem with that stopper is force is being pushed up constantly by the product. A stopper would be used to keep product OUT of the pipe....LOL...No? Thanks for the nice review....Bob
Comment from rmdelta
This was an excellent contest entry and a well written story. Great descriptives create vivid imatery, while the dialogue is strong, realistic and beleivable. Well done and good luck
reply by the author on 23-May-2010
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This was an excellent contest entry and a well written story. Great descriptives create vivid imatery, while the dialogue is strong, realistic and beleivable. Well done and good luck
Comment Written 23-May-2010
reply by the author on 23-May-2010
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Thanks so much, mdelta. I appreciate this very much...
Comment from Awatef
This is a very interesting piece of work. How did you get all these names. It almost sounds as real as if you were really in that meeting. Great description of characters. Great writer you must be it up.
reply by the author on 23-May-2010
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This is a very interesting piece of work. How did you get all these names. It almost sounds as real as if you were really in that meeting. Great description of characters. Great writer you must be it up.
Comment Written 23-May-2010
reply by the author on 23-May-2010
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LOL...Everything in this story is made up except the facts about BP's record...I found that on the internet....thanks so much
Comment from TimothyGriffin
Nice piece. What I really liked about this piece, Bob, was the constant strong creative similes. You had in here similes that worked I'd never even dreamed of like, "They met in an office that had all the warmth of a cyanide factory", "He wore an expression that suggested recent taxidermy," and "That would have been like asking a nun for sex." Besides painting vivid pictures, they add to the humorous tone of the piece. The ending was perfect, the main character's attitude plus his frustration at their inability to come up with a solution when he didn't have one himself. Well done.
On a side note, I noticed in the first paragraph you used was three times. In writing magazines articles I have read, they always suggest staying away from was/were. In my last piece, I found it was impossible to cut out all of the was/were without writing a totally contrived sentence that made no sense. You've used them here, and it doesn't damage you work at all. But, I also noticed after the first paragraph, they drop out. As a writer I respect, I wondered what your opinion is on was/were usage.
reply by the author on 23-May-2010
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Nice piece. What I really liked about this piece, Bob, was the constant strong creative similes. You had in here similes that worked I'd never even dreamed of like, "They met in an office that had all the warmth of a cyanide factory", "He wore an expression that suggested recent taxidermy," and "That would have been like asking a nun for sex." Besides painting vivid pictures, they add to the humorous tone of the piece. The ending was perfect, the main character's attitude plus his frustration at their inability to come up with a solution when he didn't have one himself. Well done.
On a side note, I noticed in the first paragraph you used was three times. In writing magazines articles I have read, they always suggest staying away from was/were. In my last piece, I found it was impossible to cut out all of the was/were without writing a totally contrived sentence that made no sense. You've used them here, and it doesn't damage you work at all. But, I also noticed after the first paragraph, they drop out. As a writer I respect, I wondered what your opinion is on was/were usage.
Comment Written 23-May-2010
reply by the author on 23-May-2010
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Hi, Tim...You cannot get away from using the words "was" and "were" My rule of thumb.....Inrevision, i check each of the times I used it...If there is another way...I will do it otherwise....guess what? Yup. Thanks, Tim..Bob
Comment from melyuki
gooday bob, as always your style is brilliantly created here. exposing the false corrupt and destructive forces within some of our government departments has come through in your passage here ,loud and clear.. the clarity in which you express your thoughts through this rather clever ode , is exceptional.. without direct criticism you have managed to portray the feeling within these lines.. showing not only the shallowness at hand, but the downright untruths.. that accompany such ways .well written piece of prose Bob, with fantastic imagery throughout . cheers and smiles from Melxx
reply by the author on 23-May-2010
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gooday bob, as always your style is brilliantly created here. exposing the false corrupt and destructive forces within some of our government departments has come through in your passage here ,loud and clear.. the clarity in which you express your thoughts through this rather clever ode , is exceptional.. without direct criticism you have managed to portray the feeling within these lines.. showing not only the shallowness at hand, but the downright untruths.. that accompany such ways .well written piece of prose Bob, with fantastic imagery throughout . cheers and smiles from Melxx
Comment Written 23-May-2010
reply by the author on 23-May-2010
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Thanks so much, Mel...I appreciate your fine review as usual..Blessings..
Comment from patmedium
Hhhmmm... such a strong write. I wish you luck with this one, friend. You paint a clear picture of what goes on in a board room. Congratulations. Pat.
reply by the author on 23-May-2010
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Hhhmmm... such a strong write. I wish you luck with this one, friend. You paint a clear picture of what goes on in a board room. Congratulations. Pat.
Comment Written 23-May-2010
reply by the author on 23-May-2010
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Thanks, Pat. I'm glad you liked this mshort story.
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Best of luck.
Comment from chocoletdrop052
All the kings horses could not put this mess together again. It looks like the plummers are not going to get their overtime pay. In the meantime, BP maybe here today and gone tomorrow. After the crowd dies down, Drummond is still hard at work. Millions of dollars away (LOL)
reply by the author on 23-May-2010
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All the kings horses could not put this mess together again. It looks like the plummers are not going to get their overtime pay. In the meantime, BP maybe here today and gone tomorrow. After the crowd dies down, Drummond is still hard at work. Millions of dollars away (LOL)
Comment Written 23-May-2010
reply by the author on 23-May-2010
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Thanks so much,chocolatedrop....Yes, they have got their "hands" full alright...thanks for the great review and especially for th ebig sixer! Wow!
Comment from Kellytr
Author, I thought the diaphragm idea was a reasonable one, or maybe a bandaid. What a scary scenario you have painted and all the more horrifying because this is no doubt precisely how discussions would have occurred. God help the planet. Kelly
reply by the author on 23-May-2010
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Author, I thought the diaphragm idea was a reasonable one, or maybe a bandaid. What a scary scenario you have painted and all the more horrifying because this is no doubt precisely how discussions would have occurred. God help the planet. Kelly
Comment Written 23-May-2010
reply by the author on 23-May-2010
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Thanks, Kelly...I appreciate your comments an dthe review as always....
Comment from ulster3
Dear writer,
While the topic is serious indeed, you have written a fantastically humorous piece with great descriptions and style. You should do very well in the contest. People just need to remember that for years humor and pathos have gone side by side in art. Good job.
Ulster
reply by the author on 22-May-2010
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Dear writer,
While the topic is serious indeed, you have written a fantastically humorous piece with great descriptions and style. You should do very well in the contest. People just need to remember that for years humor and pathos have gone side by side in art. Good job.
Ulster
Comment Written 22-May-2010
reply by the author on 22-May-2010
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Thanks so much, Ulster 3 Glad you recognize this for the satire it is...
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I would think it is obvious, and you give Swift's Modest Proposal a run for the money.
:)
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What is that? LOL
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Jonathan Swift wrote a great satire called A Modest Proposal. You might like to read it ... quite a horrific topic though. :)
