Rabbit
Life is Like a Bookshelf69 total reviews
Comment from Rain Chapman
We should all be so blessed to have a Virge in our lives. I can hear your love and respect of this amazing man clearly in your writing and I enjoyed your memories of him very much. Cool analogy of life and the bookshelf, I love it.
Lorraine :)
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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We should all be so blessed to have a Virge in our lives. I can hear your love and respect of this amazing man clearly in your writing and I enjoyed your memories of him very much. Cool analogy of life and the bookshelf, I love it.
Lorraine :)
Comment Written 11-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Hi Lorraine - I'm glad that you read and enjoyed the story. I had so many positive comments, that I will try and write another story with Virge. Right now I'm leaning toward, "Virge and the Watermelon Caper".
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LOL, from the title alone I'd say it is one to look forward too. :-)
Comment from Krugerrand
Not a hint of impersonal or dull in this piece. Just loved the analogy of life as a bookshelf and of Virgil being the bookend on the left.
I was also impressed with the relationship the family had with Virgil for that time period and place. That was quite unexpected.
Great story, well-written, and I have to say I'm a bit jealous the memory isn't mine.
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Not a hint of impersonal or dull in this piece. Just loved the analogy of life as a bookshelf and of Virgil being the bookend on the left.
I was also impressed with the relationship the family had with Virgil for that time period and place. That was quite unexpected.
Great story, well-written, and I have to say I'm a bit jealous the memory isn't mine.
Comment Written 11-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Thanks again!
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Just wanted to let you know that I released a follow up story today called, Virge and the Watermelon Caper
Comment from Sharesy
What a wonderful stroll down memory lane. I enjoyed this
story very much. I had a sunday school teacher who was probably in her 80's when I was in grade school. She lived in one room and a bathroom in a rooming house. She did oil painting. She lived across from the church, and she would let me watch her paint until my parents came to pick me up. There is a great deal to be learned from the elderly.
I enjoyed this work very much
on a pair of blue denim [overall's,] a long sleeve blue and white striped cotton shirt, - this is a possessive noun when it should be a plural noun - overalls
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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What a wonderful stroll down memory lane. I enjoyed this
story very much. I had a sunday school teacher who was probably in her 80's when I was in grade school. She lived in one room and a bathroom in a rooming house. She did oil painting. She lived across from the church, and she would let me watch her paint until my parents came to pick me up. There is a great deal to be learned from the elderly.
I enjoyed this work very much
on a pair of blue denim [overall's,] a long sleeve blue and white striped cotton shirt, - this is a possessive noun when it should be a plural noun - overalls
Comment Written 11-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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You should write a story about your old teacher. If nothing else, it will allow old memories to flood back. Thanks for your kind review. Bill
Comment from AlvinTEthington
No, the dialogue is perfect for the time period and culture. It takes real skill to write in dialogue like that. The story is quite interesting and has plot, conflict (Rabbit's dislike of cow manure), and resolution--Virgil telling Rabbit that God made everything. You capture well wartime America when everyone had to get along--black and white.
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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No, the dialogue is perfect for the time period and culture. It takes real skill to write in dialogue like that. The story is quite interesting and has plot, conflict (Rabbit's dislike of cow manure), and resolution--Virgil telling Rabbit that God made everything. You capture well wartime America when everyone had to get along--black and white.
Comment Written 11-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Thanks Alvin - I'm still not too crazy about cow poop, but believe it or not, I just got finished spreading some in my wife's flower bed. See - I listened to old Virge!
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Funny...
Comment from M. Karol
bhogg
what a tribute to a great old friend. I am sure your early memories have not faded even without a knife. Not many remember people once they are gone because some remain with us forever.
lovely read. I could feel your heart in it.
Madhvi
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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bhogg
what a tribute to a great old friend. I am sure your early memories have not faded even without a knife. Not many remember people once they are gone because some remain with us forever.
lovely read. I could feel your heart in it.
Madhvi
Comment Written 11-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Madhvi - thanks again!
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Just wanted to let you know that I released a follow up story today called, Virge and the Watermelon Caper
Comment from plum145
Delightful story, I especially enjoy reading non-fiction essays and yours is well written and heart warming. Your use of slag in the dialect drew out the timing and relationship between the two of you.
I find it interesting how life puts mentors so discreetly in our paths that shape our character so completely.
thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Delightful story, I especially enjoy reading non-fiction essays and yours is well written and heart warming. Your use of slag in the dialect drew out the timing and relationship between the two of you.
I find it interesting how life puts mentors so discreetly in our paths that shape our character so completely.
thank you for sharing
Comment Written 11-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Thank you very much. I'm glad you enjoyed. Someday, I'll get out of my comfort zone and write something other than non-fiction. You might enjoy one I recently wrote called "An Ah-Ha Moment." Bill
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Thank you I'll take a look at it. I feel the same way about writing fiction but have so many rich non-fictitious stories I don't know when I would get around to making things up. honor the experiences they make the best stories. Lorraine
Comment from Treasuregirl
This is a great story. It held my interest the whole way through. It's a simple tale but what a lot you learned from it. Pity you lost the knife though.
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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This is a great story. It held my interest the whole way through. It's a simple tale but what a lot you learned from it. Pity you lost the knife though.
Comment Written 11-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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I'd give up the knife in a heartbeat. I wish I still had the note, written on a pharmacy note pad in Virge's own hand. Thanks for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from rmdelta
bhogg,
being from the South myself, I had little difficulty following the conversations. I do think you should re-read this and remove all the extra 'that' words in it. They aren't necessary and are a distraction to the readers. I have the same problem and am constantly reminded of it.
One other thing--when you're using the dialect, (in my opinion) I think you should use contractions more. For instance, just one example: "Hey - Rabbit. I sure am glad that you and your folks could come. Virge would have liked that." ('Hey - Rabbit. I'm sure glad you and your folks could come. (drop 'that' because it isn't needed) Virge would've like that")Your call.
Reggie
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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bhogg,
being from the South myself, I had little difficulty following the conversations. I do think you should re-read this and remove all the extra 'that' words in it. They aren't necessary and are a distraction to the readers. I have the same problem and am constantly reminded of it.
One other thing--when you're using the dialect, (in my opinion) I think you should use contractions more. For instance, just one example: "Hey - Rabbit. I sure am glad that you and your folks could come. Virge would have liked that." ('Hey - Rabbit. I'm sure glad you and your folks could come. (drop 'that' because it isn't needed) Virge would've like that")Your call.
Reggie
Comment Written 11-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Hey Reggie - thanks for reading and for the comments. I'll go back and take a look at the "thats". Believe me, I'm a firm believer in "less is more".
Comment from Alison Williams
What a wonderful metaphor and analogy for life. A bookshelf! Very clever, I particularly like the reference to book ends.
Vierge sounds like an amazing man, and its clear how much he meant to you, and how much of an impact he has had. Fantastic story. Very well written, and I love the dialect--wouldn't dream of altering it!
Anyway, a few things I picked up.
Depending on where you are, that shelf might be full, or [could be] just starting. - Do you need "could be"? I don't think you lose anything by taking it away.
Virgil came in to(into) my life in 1955 (into)
looked like[d] the keys on my grandma's piano. (like)
to be honest, I got caught up in the story, so not a lot more jumped out at me.
Excellent. Thanks for sharing.
Alison :)
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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What a wonderful metaphor and analogy for life. A bookshelf! Very clever, I particularly like the reference to book ends.
Vierge sounds like an amazing man, and its clear how much he meant to you, and how much of an impact he has had. Fantastic story. Very well written, and I love the dialect--wouldn't dream of altering it!
Anyway, a few things I picked up.
Depending on where you are, that shelf might be full, or [could be] just starting. - Do you need "could be"? I don't think you lose anything by taking it away.
Virgil came in to(into) my life in 1955 (into)
looked like[d] the keys on my grandma's piano. (like)
to be honest, I got caught up in the story, so not a lot more jumped out at me.
Excellent. Thanks for sharing.
Alison :)
Comment Written 11-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Hi Alison - thanks for reading! I'll circle back and make those corrections. I'm a stickler on self editing, but when you are close to the story, some just sneak past you. Thanks for pointing them out!
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No worries and you're welcome. Btw, bhogg, isn't an bow to the Dukes of Hazzard, is it?
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No worries and you're welcome. Btw, bhogg, isn't an bow to the Dukes of Hazzard, is it?
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Actually a contraction about my name, Bill Hogg. I've gotten the Boss Hogg tag many times in my life. I'm much more like Luke though - I got the girl!
Comment from daniela.albu
An excellently written, impressive narration. The way the author portraits the South is best reflected in Virgil's extraordinary portrait:
"His teeth, when smiling, looked liked the keys on my grandma's piano. He was dressed in the same fashion as I always saw him from that day on. He had on a pair of blue denim overall's, a long sleeve blue and white striped cotton shirt, a rail-road engineers cap and brogans on his feet".
Another funny episode is that of Rabbit trying to imitate Virgil's way of walking:
Virge walked in a way I'd never seen. It's like he would plant one foot in front of himself and then glide forward the rest of his body to catch up with that foot. My grandma saw me once trying to copy that walk. She just laughed, saying, "You ain't got it in you to walk like that."
It is a moving true story. The way Virge explains why he calls Billy Rabbit is so touching.
Indeed, life is a book shelf. All the stories to be told are there just to be grabbed from reality.
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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An excellently written, impressive narration. The way the author portraits the South is best reflected in Virgil's extraordinary portrait:
"His teeth, when smiling, looked liked the keys on my grandma's piano. He was dressed in the same fashion as I always saw him from that day on. He had on a pair of blue denim overall's, a long sleeve blue and white striped cotton shirt, a rail-road engineers cap and brogans on his feet".
Another funny episode is that of Rabbit trying to imitate Virgil's way of walking:
Virge walked in a way I'd never seen. It's like he would plant one foot in front of himself and then glide forward the rest of his body to catch up with that foot. My grandma saw me once trying to copy that walk. She just laughed, saying, "You ain't got it in you to walk like that."
It is a moving true story. The way Virge explains why he calls Billy Rabbit is so touching.
Indeed, life is a book shelf. All the stories to be told are there just to be grabbed from reality.
Comment Written 11-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Hi Daniela - thanks for reading, and I'm glad that you enjoyed the story. I've had several people ask about more stories about Virge, so I'm working on one now. Bill
