Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "The promise given"A book of Poetry & Writing
88 total reviews
Comment from Neeeks
I really liked this. The imagery is very well done, it flows from one stanza to the next without any confusion at all.
I like how each sentence can stand alone as an idea by itself, though each sentence melts into the poem as a whole - contributing and adding to the cohesion.
I liked the subject matter too, and I feel that you have captured the kindness and fragility of spiritual life in a wonderful way. Bravo!
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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I really liked this. The imagery is very well done, it flows from one stanza to the next without any confusion at all.
I like how each sentence can stand alone as an idea by itself, though each sentence melts into the poem as a whole - contributing and adding to the cohesion.
I liked the subject matter too, and I feel that you have captured the kindness and fragility of spiritual life in a wonderful way. Bravo!
Comment Written 20-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2010
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tank you Neeeks for the review
Comment from TheDon
I like this very much. Your imagery conjures up a reality and an ideal simultaneously. It spurs me in a way unlike others I have read.
I hope this helps and good luck.
- The Don
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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I like this very much. Your imagery conjures up a reality and an ideal simultaneously. It spurs me in a way unlike others I have read.
I hope this helps and good luck.
- The Don
Comment Written 20-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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Thank you The Don for your welcome review and comments Gary
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Deepwater ...
What you have written here makes for pleasant reading except that I believe it could be improved with better
punctuation. These are my suggestions ....
* You have - The heart, can be given a new eclipse ...
I suggest - The heart can be given a new eclipse ...
(but is eclipse what you really mean to say here?)
* You have - The mind, wins with strength of truth ...
I suggest - The mind wins ....
* You have - The soul, the ellusive butterfly so frail without the heart and mind. I suggest - The soul, like the elusive (not ellusive) butterfly, so frail without the heart and mind.
* You have - The legs, give the strength to move on ...
I suggest - The legs give the strength to move on ....
Thank you for sharing this with us.
With love from ..... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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Hullo Deepwater ...
What you have written here makes for pleasant reading except that I believe it could be improved with better
punctuation. These are my suggestions ....
* You have - The heart, can be given a new eclipse ...
I suggest - The heart can be given a new eclipse ...
(but is eclipse what you really mean to say here?)
* You have - The mind, wins with strength of truth ...
I suggest - The mind wins ....
* You have - The soul, the ellusive butterfly so frail without the heart and mind. I suggest - The soul, like the elusive (not ellusive) butterfly, so frail without the heart and mind.
* You have - The legs, give the strength to move on ...
I suggest - The legs give the strength to move on ....
Thank you for sharing this with us.
With love from ..... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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thank you for this review and comments Mary
Comment from honeytree
I love the picture so much and the writers words tell so much about our lives. Our heart can be happy or sad, and when we are born, we can go forward with love and guidance from God and our forefathers.
Wonderful Writing.
Honeytree.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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I love the picture so much and the writers words tell so much about our lives. Our heart can be happy or sad, and when we are born, we can go forward with love and guidance from God and our forefathers.
Wonderful Writing.
Honeytree.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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Thank you for the welcome review Honeytree and for your comments Gary
Comment from luisestable
This is one of the best poems I have read on this site in the past two or three weeks. Very poetic this is indeed,and the diction is quite good like inspired perhaps.
There are many things that I like about this magnificent piece, things such the word choice and the occasional rhyming scheme now and them.
Luis
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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This is one of the best poems I have read on this site in the past two or three weeks. Very poetic this is indeed,and the diction is quite good like inspired perhaps.
There are many things that I like about this magnificent piece, things such the word choice and the occasional rhyming scheme now and them.
Luis
Comment Written 20-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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thank you Luis for your welcome review and comments Gary
Comment from Beauty28
Hi Deepwater,
I love what you have done with this poem, especially with the marriage scene. I always love looking at brides and wedding parties.
Not all marriages turn out in the way the couple getting joined together as one go smoothly because they go into it blindly without knowing too much about each other. This is not a good thing, because there will be inner conflicts in their married life together as their secrets, either good or bad will come out eventually.
You have been very inventive in the way you have matched the various parts of our bodies to carry our specific tasks to do with our lives. What a great job here.
As I said earlier the picture of the wedding scene, fitted in with your poem. You have a good connection here. Well done again.
Well written and imagery was excellent. Love Beauty Pam
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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Hi Deepwater,
I love what you have done with this poem, especially with the marriage scene. I always love looking at brides and wedding parties.
Not all marriages turn out in the way the couple getting joined together as one go smoothly because they go into it blindly without knowing too much about each other. This is not a good thing, because there will be inner conflicts in their married life together as their secrets, either good or bad will come out eventually.
You have been very inventive in the way you have matched the various parts of our bodies to carry our specific tasks to do with our lives. What a great job here.
As I said earlier the picture of the wedding scene, fitted in with your poem. You have a good connection here. Well done again.
Well written and imagery was excellent. Love Beauty Pam
Comment Written 20-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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thank you Beauty Pam for your review and comments
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You are so very welcome. Love Beauty
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thanks again
Comment from rivki1111
Hello, nice poem, and you just about cover every part of the human anatomy, lol (^_^)
This is the best poem I have read today at FS, and I loved the pic and presentation, also.
I have no recommendations for improvement and this is a work I would recommend, cheers, Rebekah
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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Hello, nice poem, and you just about cover every part of the human anatomy, lol (^_^)
This is the best poem I have read today at FS, and I loved the pic and presentation, also.
I have no recommendations for improvement and this is a work I would recommend, cheers, Rebekah
Comment Written 20-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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thank you Rebekah for your review and comments Gary
Comment from Perp Ihebom
A beautiful piece of reflective poetry that gives one something to chew on long after reading the work. You represented life as a serious journey for which the creator has given us various assets(body parts )to enable us make it through. well done
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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A beautiful piece of reflective poetry that gives one something to chew on long after reading the work. You represented life as a serious journey for which the creator has given us various assets(body parts )to enable us make it through. well done
Comment Written 20-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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thank you Perp for your review and comments
Comment from Amfunny
I enjoyed reading and reviewing your poem. I liked how you broke the lines down by body parts to show their connection committment. Nice job.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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I enjoyed reading and reviewing your poem. I liked how you broke the lines down by body parts to show their connection committment. Nice job.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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thank you Amfunny for this review
Comment from jason456
I think this is an excellent poem with a very strong meaning and a great deal of depth. It is very well written. I really enjoyed reading and reviewing this one and your other work.
Patti :)
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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I think this is an excellent poem with a very strong meaning and a great deal of depth. It is very well written. I really enjoyed reading and reviewing this one and your other work.
Patti :)
Comment Written 19-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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thanks again jason for the review
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It was my pleasure. Patti :) (Jason is my pen name)
