The Plan
A married woman settles the score.80 total reviews
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
Bob,
I like this.
Interesting.
I like the image you chose.
Good description.
I like the title.
I like how you ended it.
Good luck in the contest.
Katie
P.S. I forgot you need to check the second to the last line of the 3rd paragraph from the bottom: I think you need to add: the words did not before the word intend
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Bob,
I like this.
Interesting.
I like the image you chose.
Good description.
I like the title.
I like how you ended it.
Good luck in the contest.
Katie
P.S. I forgot you need to check the second to the last line of the 3rd paragraph from the bottom: I think you need to add: the words did not before the word intend
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thanks, Katie...Yeah, caught that...got it. I appreciate your help so much...Bob
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You're welcome Bob
Katie
Comment from Sally Carter
Bob, this is a great first chapter. I laughed aloud in a couple of places, and was immediately drawn in.
You have a great sense of humour. Well, it's humour that appeals to me!
Going through from the start, I will mention the things that struck me as I read.
The inventory of Blair's irritating qualities was great, especially the contrast between the last two.
In the second para I might change the second "Renee" to "she".
I loved the bit about God not having counseled her to start an affair. That was one of the bits where the laugh aloud came.
In the para beginning "Now", did you mean to say the He probably "did not" intend for her to have torrid sex...? Again, the humour in this para was superb.
Excellent ending to the chapter, with lots of possibilities for what is going to happen next.
Most enjoyable, Bob. I loved it.
Sally
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Bob, this is a great first chapter. I laughed aloud in a couple of places, and was immediately drawn in.
You have a great sense of humour. Well, it's humour that appeals to me!
Going through from the start, I will mention the things that struck me as I read.
The inventory of Blair's irritating qualities was great, especially the contrast between the last two.
In the second para I might change the second "Renee" to "she".
I loved the bit about God not having counseled her to start an affair. That was one of the bits where the laugh aloud came.
In the para beginning "Now", did you mean to say the He probably "did not" intend for her to have torrid sex...? Again, the humour in this para was superb.
Excellent ending to the chapter, with lots of possibilities for what is going to happen next.
Most enjoyable, Bob. I loved it.
Sally
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thanks so much, Sally. Glad you liked it and thanks for the tips....Bob
Comment from bohemiangeek
Your writing is wonderful. It read smooth, clear and extremely interesting. I didn't need to re-read a thing and your cliff hanger is giving me guesses as to how.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Your writing is wonderful. It read smooth, clear and extremely interesting. I didn't need to re-read a thing and your cliff hanger is giving me guesses as to how.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thank you very much, "T" I appreciate this...Bob
Comment from Mariea
Good morning. A good fast paced story. Characters believeable and the story developes well as it progresses. Just a couple of spags for you.
Line starting 'These Renee' - delete 'these'
Line starting 'men out' - insert 'didn't'
Have a great day, regards Mia
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Good morning. A good fast paced story. Characters believeable and the story developes well as it progresses. Just a couple of spags for you.
Line starting 'These Renee' - delete 'these'
Line starting 'men out' - insert 'didn't'
Have a great day, regards Mia
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thank you very much, Mariea...Bob
Comment from Shirley McLain
A Excellent story, I enjoyed reading it and having the knowledge the woman was learning. I did not find any problems when reading. Good job
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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A Excellent story, I enjoyed reading it and having the knowledge the woman was learning. I did not find any problems when reading. Good job
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thanks, Shirley. I appreciate this...Bob
Comment from lola29
Bob, how could Renee possibly think of herself as being shallow? I mean the material perks of being married to the congressman were her just rewards--not!
All things happen for a reason? You're horny, you meet a gorgeous guy. What more reason do you need?
This is a great entry, and I wouldn't be at all surprised to see it win.
These Renee weighed these?
he (intended)
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Bob, how could Renee possibly think of herself as being shallow? I mean the material perks of being married to the congressman were her just rewards--not!
All things happen for a reason? You're horny, you meet a gorgeous guy. What more reason do you need?
This is a great entry, and I wouldn't be at all surprised to see it win.
These Renee weighed these?
he (intended)
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thanks so much, Lola. Wow! What a nive review. I thank you for your tipstoo. I am not sure what you mean by "intended" though?? Bob
Comment from sugardog
Sounds like the making of a novel...nice job. She does need to find the courage to get out of her marriage, not sure she's going about it the rigfht way... I am interested in reading more about this, so I hope you write it!
These Renee weighed these(remove one of the "these")against the benefits of being Mr. Blair Bullinger...
And while he probably (add- "didn't")intend for her to have reckless sex with the first(add-"guy"?)she met...
Good luck in the contest and nice idea!! Dana
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Sounds like the making of a novel...nice job. She does need to find the courage to get out of her marriage, not sure she's going about it the rigfht way... I am interested in reading more about this, so I hope you write it!
These Renee weighed these(remove one of the "these")against the benefits of being Mr. Blair Bullinger...
And while he probably (add- "didn't")intend for her to have reckless sex with the first(add-"guy"?)she met...
Good luck in the contest and nice idea!! Dana
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thanks, Dana. I sure appreciate your review and especially your help at finding those boo boos..LOL...Bob
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You are welcome, Bob!! I wish you luck with the story! Dana
Comment from Shirley B
Whoa, so what is she going to do, divorce him, Kill him? Leave him for this other man? Sounds like a great story. Her husband sounds like a jerk. I vote for the killing part myself. Ofcourse make it look like an accident. LOL. Great story. Shirley
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Whoa, so what is she going to do, divorce him, Kill him? Leave him for this other man? Sounds like a great story. Her husband sounds like a jerk. I vote for the killing part myself. Ofcourse make it look like an accident. LOL. Great story. Shirley
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Shirley...I appreciate your fine review as usual...Bob
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Bob,
Now you have me wondering how Renee got rid of Blair! Check out your second paragraph, first line, I don't think you want the word 'these' there twice. There are times when an affair seems like the only choice and apparently Renee thought so too, but then decides to resort to murder for a permanent choice! Well done and good luck in the contest...chey
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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Hi Bob,
Now you have me wondering how Renee got rid of Blair! Check out your second paragraph, first line, I don't think you want the word 'these' there twice. There are times when an affair seems like the only choice and apparently Renee thought so too, but then decides to resort to murder for a permanent choice! Well done and good luck in the contest...chey
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thanks so much, Chey. I appreciate you taking the time to read my prose...As always...XX Bob
Comment from c_lucas
Concrete boots and free swiming lessons should do the trick. This is very well written and has all the ingrediants of a good novel. Good luck in your contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Concrete boots and free swiming lessons should do the trick. This is very well written and has all the ingrediants of a good novel. Good luck in your contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thanks, Charlie...I appreciate that...As always, what a friend...Bob
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You're welcome, Bob. Charlie
