Young Alcoholic
what drives children to drink14 total reviews
Comment from yellowrosebud
This is a powerful poem of what got horrible wrong in far too many families.You done a great job with very few words.God bless and help these children.Very well Expressed!This got to be the winner!
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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This is a powerful poem of what got horrible wrong in far too many families.You done a great job with very few words.God bless and help these children.Very well Expressed!This got to be the winner!
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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Thanks for understanding the societal commentary in this short story and for a good review.
Comment from Shirley B
This is so sad. It it sad because it is probably true in some child's home. Your story was well written. It is something we all hate to think about but a subject that comes up more and more. Great job of telling it through the eyes of a child. Good luck in the contest, Shirley
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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This is so sad. It it sad because it is probably true in some child's home. Your story was well written. It is something we all hate to think about but a subject that comes up more and more. Great job of telling it through the eyes of a child. Good luck in the contest, Shirley
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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Thanks. I usually don't think I write well through a child's eyes, so this review meant a lot to me.
Comment from mermaids
Excellent example of addiction as a family disease. You did well writing this from a child's perspective. I coomend you for writing this and best wishes for the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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Excellent example of addiction as a family disease. You did well writing this from a child's perspective. I coomend you for writing this and best wishes for the contest.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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Thanks for a great review. I usually don't think I write well through a child's eye, so this review means a lot to me.
Comment from serenityjs
I know this pain all too well. What else is there to say?
Hmm... You have a heart wrenching piece here that shows the pain of child abuse through a child's eyes.
jen
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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I know this pain all too well. What else is there to say?
Hmm... You have a heart wrenching piece here that shows the pain of child abuse through a child's eyes.
jen
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2012
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Thanks for understanding what I wanted to convey.
Comment from minopavlic
Interesting reflection into a devastating state of mind that society is cascading into, and many in our present day pay little notice of it's dark reality.
There are very few words which embrace the pain and anguish within this tragedy, as to the horrors felt and the irreplacable scars scars left..
I myself have my own brand of justice towards such a premeditated, malicious predator..
In complete unsuspecting innocent purity, a life is changed....
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Interesting reflection into a devastating state of mind that society is cascading into, and many in our present day pay little notice of it's dark reality.
There are very few words which embrace the pain and anguish within this tragedy, as to the horrors felt and the irreplacable scars scars left..
I myself have my own brand of justice towards such a premeditated, malicious predator..
In complete unsuspecting innocent purity, a life is changed....
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Yes, you understood what I wanted to convey. Thanks for a good review.
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:}
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Oh, how sad is this --
and what's even more
devastating is that
these things do go on
and yet only comes to
light much later in
the child's life.
I think you put this over so well, Alvin.
Margaret
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Oh, how sad is this --
and what's even more
devastating is that
these things do go on
and yet only comes to
light much later in
the child's life.
I think you put this over so well, Alvin.
Margaret
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Yes, the memories can often be blocked for as long as forty years. Thanks for a good review.
Comment from adewpearl
Alvin, you write about a horrific situation that happens too often in families - how awful that children are made to endure such pain and to find their own remedies to help them cope. You bring an important issue to light. Brooke
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Alvin, you write about a horrific situation that happens too often in families - how awful that children are made to endure such pain and to find their own remedies to help them cope. You bring an important issue to light. Brooke
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Thank you for understanding what I wanted to convey; I truly appreciate it.
Comment from Sherelynne
An upsetting story that tells about some of the causes of underage drinking and alcoholism.
Though short, I think that it sends a powerful message.
My only suggestions is that the ending was a little too abrupt.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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An upsetting story that tells about some of the causes of underage drinking and alcoholism.
Though short, I think that it sends a powerful message.
My only suggestions is that the ending was a little too abrupt.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Yes, other readers have spoken to that. I shall seriously think about expanding it. Thanks for a good review.
Comment from closetpoetjester
Cute and tragic all at the same time. Nice entry, short and concise and fairly well to the point. Good luck with this quite well written yet all too brief tale.
Cheers closetpoetjester
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Cute and tragic all at the same time. Nice entry, short and concise and fairly well to the point. Good luck with this quite well written yet all too brief tale.
Cheers closetpoetjester
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your review. For clarification, I wanted it to be sparse so there would be a simple reality about it. I am sorry that did not come through. Thanks again; I shall seriously take your suggestion about expanding it.
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Sorry about the four. I hate giving them but I just felt it lacked a little length but I see now you have explained the simple concept I looked past. Of course it wouldn't be long winded...it was from POV of the child. I did however completely enjoy the read. Thanks for explaining. I feel like I have ripped you off so am re marking to a 5. Sorry I was naive when I read this.
Closetpoetjester xo
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For God's sake, don't worry about it. I need lower ratings once in a while so I can remember I still need practice as a writer. You weren't the only one who gave me a four for this piece. However, immense thanks for this re-rating.
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For God's sake but I am though! LOL No seriously I do hate doling out fours and I honestly thought this was good, just too short. Very happy to re rate and I am so glad you clarified. Good luck in the contest ... despite everything I think this is a great entry.....
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Thank you.
Comment from overthemoon
You had me gripped from the very first paragraph. i wanted to hear more and know the final outcome.made me wonder if this was based on a true life experience.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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You had me gripped from the very first paragraph. i wanted to hear more and know the final outcome.made me wonder if this was based on a true life experience.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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No, this is fiction. But it is based on events I have seen around my apartment complex--like older siblings telling eight year olds not to drink. It is positively terrifying. Thanks for a great review.
