LIfe, a Free Verse Poem
A whimsical look at life26 total reviews
Comment from Shirley B
Oh my goodness, I got the the last several lines not real sure everyone will! LOL I sure hope this is a satire poem. I would hate to think your life that been this dismal. Great job on your imagery. I was able to get a great picture from your poem even when I didn't want it. Good job, Shirley
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Oh my goodness, I got the the last several lines not real sure everyone will! LOL I sure hope this is a satire poem. I would hate to think your life that been this dismal. Great job on your imagery. I was able to get a great picture from your poem even when I didn't want it. Good job, Shirley
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Hi Shirley, thank you for the review, and the stardust! I think that you are the only reader who got the kind of grim humor in the last lines. THis is satire, it was jkust one of those days when nothing seemed to go right, and I thought that a little verse would cheer me up.
Cheers, irish
Comment from AmorGentil
You are narrating the daily routine life of so many people, it is so sad no to see beyond that material box, when we are in a prison, all there is to see is the... prison.
But that's not real life, look up, there's something more.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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You are narrating the daily routine life of so many people, it is so sad no to see beyond that material box, when we are in a prison, all there is to see is the... prison.
But that's not real life, look up, there's something more.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your generous review, and the stardust! It was just one of those days, when everything seems to go wrong, so I tried to write something to laugh at, came out cynical too, thanks for the 'cheer me up!' irish
Comment from wierdgrace
This was so great, the poem as you said was free verse, and great, funny to read, and it reminded of someone I know, I dont think you pushed the limit, I think it was perfect, If it was in a contest, I would have voted for you, great writing.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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This was so great, the poem as you said was free verse, and great, funny to read, and it reminded of someone I know, I dont think you pushed the limit, I think it was perfect, If it was in a contest, I would have voted for you, great writing.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Wow, Thank you! It was just one of those days when everything seems to go wrong, so I stopped repairing a broken water line and turned on the screen, and that's what came out.
Cheers, irish
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been there that is for sure
Comment from Joan E.
I did enjoy your "free verse" with rhyme! I delighted in your "hurdles" and "turtles" similes and your "pretend" and "fakes it" sarcasm, along with your "frosting," "guitar" and "sacks" metaphors. Oh, let's not forget your use of alliteration! Well done! Glad to learn it's not you in the artwork!
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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I did enjoy your "free verse" with rhyme! I delighted in your "hurdles" and "turtles" similes and your "pretend" and "fakes it" sarcasm, along with your "frosting," "guitar" and "sacks" metaphors. Oh, let's not forget your use of alliteration! Well done! Glad to learn it's not you in the artwork!
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Hi Joan, I am humbled by your great review, and the six-star rating! I thopught that I had better say that the guy in the picture was not me, but I guess that he could have been, when I was writing that free verse. Thank again, irish
Comment from Dall
CYNICAL! lol but a good poem, great rhyming, smooth flow I see nothing wrong with it. Unfortunately that is really the way life is sometimes.. guess you have to be able to laugh through it all... Well done!
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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CYNICAL! lol but a good poem, great rhyming, smooth flow I see nothing wrong with it. Unfortunately that is really the way life is sometimes.. guess you have to be able to laugh through it all... Well done!
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Thank you for the generous review, and the stardust! It was just one of those days when nothing seems to go right, and that's what came out of it. Cheers, irish
Comment from hotstuff
Gosh Irish, I hope Ethel isn't your wife? Your poem really does portray a feeling of disappointment in life. I think I need a pint to cheer me up now!
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Gosh Irish, I hope Ethel isn't your wife? Your poem really does portray a feeling of disappointment in life. I think I need a pint to cheer me up now!
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Hi Kid, thanks for stopping by! No, Ethel was just a name that popped up on 'one of those bummer days.' Have a pint for me, too! :)
irish
Comment from mmichelle97219
You tone sort of switches up at the end there, and you have a consistent meter until the last two verses. Its a cute piece of writing.
Happy writing
michelle
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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You tone sort of switches up at the end there, and you have a consistent meter until the last two verses. Its a cute piece of writing.
Happy writing
michelle
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Hi Michelle, thank you for the generous review, it was just one of those days when everything seemed to go wrong, so I gave up and turned on the screen, and that's waht came out...irish
Comment from patmedium
Thankyou, Irish, for this jolly read! You have a true touch of the Irish in your veins because it made me smile widely, just as I do every time I visit the emerald land. Pat.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Thankyou, Irish, for this jolly read! You have a true touch of the Irish in your veins because it made me smile widely, just as I do every time I visit the emerald land. Pat.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Hi Pat, thank you for the generous review, and the stardust! It was just one of those days, I turned on the screen, and that's what came out. Cheers, irish
Comment from AnnaLinda
LOL, Irish!!
I like your song/poem! It sure does rhyme well for being free verse. I guess you are a 'clever old Irish elve'... "There's things I keep, close to myself,
I'm still a clever, old Irish Elf'
I love the rhythm of this poem and your lighthearted humor as well. At least I think it is lighthearted, just a little twisted, but fun;)
Really nice artwork choice for your poem as well. I still have a smile on my face. Since it is still Sunday morning here, I can't think too hard and long about your Sunday morning lines.
Great job! Very entertaining,
Linda
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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LOL, Irish!!
I like your song/poem! It sure does rhyme well for being free verse. I guess you are a 'clever old Irish elve'... "There's things I keep, close to myself,
I'm still a clever, old Irish Elf'
I love the rhythm of this poem and your lighthearted humor as well. At least I think it is lighthearted, just a little twisted, but fun;)
Really nice artwork choice for your poem as well. I still have a smile on my face. Since it is still Sunday morning here, I can't think too hard and long about your Sunday morning lines.
Great job! Very entertaining,
Linda
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Hi Linda, thank you for the generous review, and the stardust! It was just one of those days when nothing seems to go right, so I stopped repairing a broken water line, and turned on the screen, and that's what came out. Cheers, irish
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You are welcome and cheers! Good luck with that repair.
Linda
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
I love this tongue in cheek look at your life and accomplishments. Of course, we all exist on a more or less similar plain (except what's the male equivelant of a virgin.)
I'm glad you can laugh about it, Irish, because as long as you can do that, you will survive!
Juliette
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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I love this tongue in cheek look at your life and accomplishments. Of course, we all exist on a more or less similar plain (except what's the male equivelant of a virgin.)
I'm glad you can laugh about it, Irish, because as long as you can do that, you will survive!
Juliette
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2010
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Hi Juliette, thank you for the generous review, and the stardust! It was just one of those bummer days when nothing seems to go right, so I took a break and turned on the screen, and that's what came out. Better to laugh than cry! Cheers, irish
