LIfe, a Free Verse Poem
A whimsical look at life26 total reviews
Comment from Badger_29
Outstanding, and I am sure quite controversial. I bet that you got some mixed reviews on this, either for or against. Some were outraged, but, they probably got secretly wet (I found your scrubber). I laughed heartily at your parody of the greeter. Quite amusing, with a powerfully emotionally provoking punch line, I see no room for improvement. Cheers, Darren
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2016
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Outstanding, and I am sure quite controversial. I bet that you got some mixed reviews on this, either for or against. Some were outraged, but, they probably got secretly wet (I found your scrubber). I laughed heartily at your parody of the greeter. Quite amusing, with a powerfully emotionally provoking punch line, I see no room for improvement. Cheers, Darren
Comment Written 13-Nov-2016
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2016
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Hey, Thank You! Will read your latest, you are improving all the time, better grasp of your subjects, and clearae visions of your ideas.
irish
Comment from Bep Kororoti
I like this! It has both the cynicism and playfulness as well as the humanistic "vulgarity" of Charles Bukowski, easily one of my favorite writers.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2011
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I like this! It has both the cynicism and playfulness as well as the humanistic "vulgarity" of Charles Bukowski, easily one of my favorite writers.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2011
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Wow, I am amazed that you went way back in my portfolio and found my protest against a cruel and unforgiving world(Tongue-in-cheek). Thank you so much for the exceptional rating, I am grateful and humbled! irish
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Haha, well one good turn deserves another and I figured I'd start at the beginning. Also I tend to prefer reading poetry and short stories that are able to be read quickly. I like instant gratification from reading and not having to commit several weeks or months to novels. Not that I haven't enjoyed many novels. I plan on reading much more of your writing when I have more free time. You seem to be a compatriot soul. Beer and poetry and music are 3 of my favorite things as well and I appreciate a person who appreciates cynicism.
Comment from Aplgwest
Well Irish, even if I've heard that many comics are depressed, I'm going to assume that your misery is slightly exaggerated. I laughed out loud at the second and third verses. I'm not going to comment on the Sunday activities, except to say that, maybe, Ethel needs acting lessons. And, I'll bet she knows the lyrics to those virgin tunes you're strumming.
Seriously, the lines that you tossed us are mostly original and fun. It was quite an enjoyable read. I only suggest that you reconsider the two cliches in "the fifth stanza that don't seem like they belong, especially, not together.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2010
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Well Irish, even if I've heard that many comics are depressed, I'm going to assume that your misery is slightly exaggerated. I laughed out loud at the second and third verses. I'm not going to comment on the Sunday activities, except to say that, maybe, Ethel needs acting lessons. And, I'll bet she knows the lyrics to those virgin tunes you're strumming.
Seriously, the lines that you tossed us are mostly original and fun. It was quite an enjoyable read. I only suggest that you reconsider the two cliches in "the fifth stanza that don't seem like they belong, especially, not together.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2010
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Misery, like all reports of my prowess with the ladies and my alcohol capacity, are slightly exaggerated. And, I'm printing up some cue cards with new words for Ethel. Thank you for taking the time to write a helpful review, and the stars. irish
Comment from billyboy123
This poem is full of fun and humor and conveys exactly how I think and my own circumstances as well. I like the picture. Excellent. You know how to live. You know what's important in life. You have found the Rosetta Stone. You
are the alchemist who has turned lifes simple moments into golden memories. Thank you for being my friend. I can't tell you how much I related to your piece.
billyboy
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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This poem is full of fun and humor and conveys exactly how I think and my own circumstances as well. I like the picture. Excellent. You know how to live. You know what's important in life. You have found the Rosetta Stone. You
are the alchemist who has turned lifes simple moments into golden memories. Thank you for being my friend. I can't tell you how much I related to your piece.
billyboy
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Thank you! It was just one of those days when nothing seemed to go right, so I decided to write about it, and laugh it off.
Thank you for your generous review, my friend!
irish
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Irish,
Hilarious simile - a herd of pregnant turtles leaping hurdles - I can't even begin to imagine the chaos....
Life is certainly a roller coaster and some of us do fall off along the way. Sometimes things come at us from "left field" that are difficult to deal with or the final straw.
Good poem, one suggestion for you - remove the commas from the final couplet of the fifth verse. It will improvethe flow of the lines no end.
Patrick
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Hi Irish,
Hilarious simile - a herd of pregnant turtles leaping hurdles - I can't even begin to imagine the chaos....
Life is certainly a roller coaster and some of us do fall off along the way. Sometimes things come at us from "left field" that are difficult to deal with or the final straw.
Good poem, one suggestion for you - remove the commas from the final couplet of the fifth verse. It will improvethe flow of the lines no end.
Patrick
Comment Written 19-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Hi Pat, Thank you for the generous review, and I will take your advice! irish
Comment from IndianaIrish
"What's it all about, Elfie?" Free verse on life, huh? Yeah,that's it ... you goof. Funny stuff, irish. Good luck with that virgin thing and I bet if you do find one, write a book about your path of enlightenment and you'll be a millionaire. Ummmm ... why can I easily imagine you as a WalMart greeter? Thank God you have your lady who talks to you ... and I bet she never ever fakes it :>)
Indy
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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"What's it all about, Elfie?" Free verse on life, huh? Yeah,that's it ... you goof. Funny stuff, irish. Good luck with that virgin thing and I bet if you do find one, write a book about your path of enlightenment and you'll be a millionaire. Ummmm ... why can I easily imagine you as a WalMart greeter? Thank God you have your lady who talks to you ... and I bet she never ever fakes it :>)
Indy
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Ha, you just dig right in there, don't you? Hey, and that was not(!) my picture on the top! I wasn't actually looking for a virgin, I would rather dally with a lady of knowledge and experience . . .Hmmm
And, I would be fired from Wal-Mart the first day . . .
My guitar whispers little inuendos, sometimes downright suggestive, and she hugs me back, when I need it.
Gee, if you lived closer, we could collaberate on a poem, or even a laugh-in(!) :)
irish
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Oh, you're such a tease ... but I'd love a poem-fest or 'laugh-in' with you. (can I be Goldie Hawn?) :>)
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You are too damned smart to be 'Goldie,' but you would be pretty cute, all dressed up like that; white blouse, short skirt, huge eyebrows, and red, red lipstick. Yum!
irish
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Uh oh ... no huge eyebrows, but I can get some fake ones. I do like to giggle. Hey ... can you be that guy who rides the tricycle and falls over? He was always my favorite. Must be the trenchcoat and hat. :>)
Comment from fictionwriter
I quite enjoyed this. Glad to know that I'm not the only one who watches the others having fun, and I have nothing to show. Great job.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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I quite enjoyed this. Glad to know that I'm not the only one who watches the others having fun, and I have nothing to show. Great job.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your generous review, and the stardust! It was just one of those days, and . . .well, you know.
irish
Comment from MissMerri
A most entertaining poem, Irish, but I wouldn't call it "Free Verse." (Maybe you meant 'free to be nuts' or something?) I hope you will rename it, maybe "Life in Quatrains" or "Life at a Glance" or just "Life." Whatever you choose to call it, it is a clear demonstration of your Irish humor and clever way with words. This verse sums it up pretty well:
"The light at the end of the tunnel is dim,
I have to keep going, 'Sink or Swim.'
There's things I keep,* close to myself, I'm still a clever, old Irish Elf." *(no comma needed here)
Yes, indeed you are. Your poem made me laugh. I liked it very much.
Nice to see you're back!
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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A most entertaining poem, Irish, but I wouldn't call it "Free Verse." (Maybe you meant 'free to be nuts' or something?) I hope you will rename it, maybe "Life in Quatrains" or "Life at a Glance" or just "Life." Whatever you choose to call it, it is a clear demonstration of your Irish humor and clever way with words. This verse sums it up pretty well:
"The light at the end of the tunnel is dim,
I have to keep going, 'Sink or Swim.'
There's things I keep,* close to myself, I'm still a clever, old Irish Elf." *(no comma needed here)
Yes, indeed you are. Your poem made me laugh. I liked it very much.
Nice to see you're back!
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Thank you for the in-depth review, I always look forward to your comments. It was just one of those days when nothing seemed to go right, and I thought that the verse would help me laugh it off. I will remove the comma.
irish
Comment from mtngalofnc
Hi Irish,
Oh, this is a hoot! I loved every stanza and if I had six stars they would be yours. Loved the turtles and hurdles and the reference to the wal-mart greeter. Good flow and a wonderful sense of humor. Thank you for sharing.
Becky
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Hi Irish,
Oh, this is a hoot! I loved every stanza and if I had six stars they would be yours. Loved the turtles and hurdles and the reference to the wal-mart greeter. Good flow and a wonderful sense of humor. Thank you for sharing.
Becky
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Hi Becky, thank you for the generous review, and the stardust!
It was one of those days when nothing seemed to go right, and I thought that a little verse would help me laugh it off!
irish
Comment from krdeering
Either you're writing " of the things I've never had," (to quote your poem) or you're a cynical ol' bugger!
It's a fun poem, although I don't know what to do with it.
For sure, I have never in my life seen a poem that started out with a herd of pregnant turtles.
Have fun with this writing thing....
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Either you're writing " of the things I've never had," (to quote your poem) or you're a cynical ol' bugger!
It's a fun poem, although I don't know what to do with it.
For sure, I have never in my life seen a poem that started out with a herd of pregnant turtles.
Have fun with this writing thing....
Comment Written 18-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Thanks for reading, it was just one of those days when nothing seemed to go right, and I thought that a little verse would help me laugh it off. Cheers, irish
