Thieves And Liars
Flash Fiction69 total reviews
Comment from Dave M
Jan,
This is an excellent story about a sting operation. I enjoyed reading this short and couldn't find anything to criticize.
Dave
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
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Jan,
This is an excellent story about a sting operation. I enjoyed reading this short and couldn't find anything to criticize.
Dave
Comment Written 12-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
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Thank you so much. I sincerely appreciate the feedback, and I'm glad you enjoyed reading this.
Jani
Comment from PatriciaLiteHickman
I love the twist here dear friend; haven't review anything much here for awhile; Are you still on spark people? I haven't been over there either :) I couldn't find anything to correct; great job; i hope you win the contest! Blessings, Tricia
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2010
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I love the twist here dear friend; haven't review anything much here for awhile; Are you still on spark people? I haven't been over there either :) I couldn't find anything to correct; great job; i hope you win the contest! Blessings, Tricia
Comment Written 12-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2010
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Thank you so very much, Tricia! You are so kind. I still get on Spark People, but I need to be more consistent there, too! :-) I'm honored by the rating and your comments.
Hugs,
Jani
Comment from ElectricRain
Hi Janilou,
What a great read, fantastic story and I have to say I certainly did not see the twist coming at the end. Thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece. Good luck with the contest!
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
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Hi Janilou,
What a great read, fantastic story and I have to say I certainly did not see the twist coming at the end. Thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece. Good luck with the contest!
Comment Written 12-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
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Thank you so much. I sincerely appreciate the feedback, and I'm glad you enjoyed reading this.
Jani
Comment from jadapenn
Hi Janilou this is great contest entry. I liked the way you let the tension take hold. You developed your characters well. What did the woman rob the homeless - money? What a sick thing to do.
Well written. Best wishes for the contest. luv jada
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
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Hi Janilou this is great contest entry. I liked the way you let the tension take hold. You developed your characters well. What did the woman rob the homeless - money? What a sick thing to do.
Well written. Best wishes for the contest. luv jada
Comment Written 12-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
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Thank you so much. I sincerely appreciate the feedback, and I'm glad you enjoyed reading this.
Jani
Comment from btruax
Well, you had me guessing the whole way. I never suspected your twist.
In the third paragraph the woman has a startled expression. I am confused as to why she would be startled by a homeless man glancing at her. Did I miss something?
In the line - Looking to scrap together enough for a bus fare home to Missouri." should that be "scrape" rather than "scrap."
Great story, I am just learning about flash fiction and I am loving it. Yours is a wonderful example.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2010
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Well, you had me guessing the whole way. I never suspected your twist.
In the third paragraph the woman has a startled expression. I am confused as to why she would be startled by a homeless man glancing at her. Did I miss something?
In the line - Looking to scrap together enough for a bus fare home to Missouri." should that be "scrape" rather than "scrap."
Great story, I am just learning about flash fiction and I am loving it. Yours is a wonderful example.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2010
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Excellent points! Thank you. I tweaked it and corrected the spelling error. :-) Glad you enjoyed it! Much appreciated.
Jani
Comment from Vicwhiskey
Very nice twist. I was surprised and I think that if this gets published other people will feel the same way. Love the description and the solid believable dialogue. Great job. VW
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2010
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Very nice twist. I was surprised and I think that if this gets published other people will feel the same way. Love the description and the solid believable dialogue. Great job. VW
Comment Written 12-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2010
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Many thanks! :-) Glad you enjoyed.
Jani
Comment from Judian James
Excellent!! You had me when he said there was no one around and she started to get nervous. I thought for sure he was going to rob her or worse. The ending was pleasantly shocking. Marvelous read from you pen, Jani!
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2010
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Excellent!! You had me when he said there was no one around and she started to get nervous. I thought for sure he was going to rob her or worse. The ending was pleasantly shocking. Marvelous read from you pen, Jani!
Comment Written 12-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2010
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Thank you so much, Jude. It felt fantastic to actually be writing again! I miss it so much. So glad you enjoyed it. :-)
Hugs,
Jani
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I was thrilled to receive a PM that you had posted Jani. I miss you on site ... your wonderful writing and your supportive reviews. I hope all is well.
Comment from skye
Well, I never saw that coming. What a great short story, filled with all the details and drama one could wish for.
Strong scene, great dilemma, powerful ending.
Well done.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2010
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Well, I never saw that coming. What a great short story, filled with all the details and drama one could wish for.
Strong scene, great dilemma, powerful ending.
Well done.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2010
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Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it!
Jani
Comment from mmichelle97219
Having lived in my van for seven years I know that these sort of things can happen to anyone. I am not going over your spag as quite frankly I wasn't paying attention to it. nice post.
michelle
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2010
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Having lived in my van for seven years I know that these sort of things can happen to anyone. I am not going over your spag as quite frankly I wasn't paying attention to it. nice post.
michelle
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2010
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Thanks, Michelle. :-)
Jani
