The Poet and the Deep Dark Forest
A tale of hope gone awry102 total reviews
Comment from Hitcher
I have just got back from a couple days at the beach for Easter break, got some fishing done and some sun bathing, it was great. What a poem to come back to! Loved it mate, dark, graphic and beautiful written my good man, like only you can, definitely up there as one of my favorites of yours Mike, Great writing mate, just great!
Tried to six you but I must of already given you my quota for the month, sorry mate!
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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I have just got back from a couple days at the beach for Easter break, got some fishing done and some sun bathing, it was great. What a poem to come back to! Loved it mate, dark, graphic and beautiful written my good man, like only you can, definitely up there as one of my favorites of yours Mike, Great writing mate, just great!
Tried to six you but I must of already given you my quota for the month, sorry mate!
Comment Written 05-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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Glad to hear you've been relaxing mate, and equally glad you enjoyed my monster dark poem. This one's been doing pretty well over the last few days! I'll take you intended sixer mate, with grateful thanks!
Mike
Comment from jayhawk67
Quite a read, Mike. Part nightmare, part allegory, rife with metaphor this is a great work. It leaves the reader wondering about inner demons and love.
Interesting mix of rhyme scheme form.
Good job.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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Quite a read, Mike. Part nightmare, part allegory, rife with metaphor this is a great work. It leaves the reader wondering about inner demons and love.
Interesting mix of rhyme scheme form.
Good job.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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Thanks, Jayhawk. I'm really glad you enjoyed it, and thrilled you took the time to read through and share your thoughts with me.
Mike
Comment from jadapenn
Hi Mike, you have a knack with these long poems. I loved this one although it cut deep with all the brutality going on in those fiend's den. I can't quite understand the last part - is this their meeting after death.
I still enjoyed it very much. Well written and presented. luv jada
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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Hi Mike, you have a knack with these long poems. I loved this one although it cut deep with all the brutality going on in those fiend's den. I can't quite understand the last part - is this their meeting after death.
I still enjoyed it very much. Well written and presented. luv jada
Comment Written 04-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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Thanks Jada :-). Really glad you liked it. You could interpret the final segment that way; indeed, I rather like it! I'm letting people make of it what they will though :-)
Mike
Comment from volunteer angel
With a name like Fleedleflump, I expected either a tongue twister or an Edgar Allen Poe story. This one fits the latter easily. It reminded me of the story "I Heard The Owl Call My Name" that I once read. Great story and it really kept me going! V.A.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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With a name like Fleedleflump, I expected either a tongue twister or an Edgar Allen Poe story. This one fits the latter easily. It reminded me of the story "I Heard The Owl Call My Name" that I once read. Great story and it really kept me going! V.A.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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Thank you, VA :-). I was pleased with this one, if a little nervous about posting it, what with all the switched in form it goes through. So glad you liked it!
Mike
Comment from christopherjl
Interesting tale you have written here. I have no suggestions for your poem at this time. I like what you have written but admittedly don't understand it all.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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Interesting tale you have written here. I have no suggestions for your poem at this time. I like what you have written but admittedly don't understand it all.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Christopher. I've left plenty of ambiguity in this one, in the hope that people will dig their own meanings out of it. So glad you enjoyed the read :-)
Mike
Comment from Amanda Dcosta
Wow.... beautiful poetry. Deserving a six. So here goes... a 6 for you.
There is so much that I can comment upon from this poem.
First of all, it shows you have put in a lot of hard work in trying to construct different settings in terms of line structures. I like it that you have partitioned it that sets the reader ready for the next part so much so the change in tempo and pace is well accepted.
I do like it that each section follows specific line patterns as in 4 lines each or five lines each... except in the first section, 2nd verse, where I think you could add a line to complete the pattern.
I think this poem is full of metaphors that one can connect to. One one level I understand that a woman is involved, and on another it just relates to me on a personal level. I am not sure what you have had in mind while writing this.
I think that some work might me needed to polish this poem so that it flows more easily while reading, but hats off to you for brilliant creativity.... Cheers.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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Wow.... beautiful poetry. Deserving a six. So here goes... a 6 for you.
There is so much that I can comment upon from this poem.
First of all, it shows you have put in a lot of hard work in trying to construct different settings in terms of line structures. I like it that you have partitioned it that sets the reader ready for the next part so much so the change in tempo and pace is well accepted.
I do like it that each section follows specific line patterns as in 4 lines each or five lines each... except in the first section, 2nd verse, where I think you could add a line to complete the pattern.
I think this poem is full of metaphors that one can connect to. One one level I understand that a woman is involved, and on another it just relates to me on a personal level. I am not sure what you have had in mind while writing this.
I think that some work might me needed to polish this poem so that it flows more easily while reading, but hats off to you for brilliant creativity.... Cheers.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Angeladi! I was very pleased with this one, just a little nervous about posting it due to the stark switches in form. Thankfully, most have liked that element. It's hugely encouraging that you enjoyed it and I'm humbly grateful for the fantastic rating :-)
Mike
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Well - you differed from the usual, which is what I liked about it. That's why I specifically mentioned 'creativity'. It seemed dark which isnt my usual inclination, but you carried it right through very well, and so I thought you deserved the six. Do enjoy it. :} happy to know you here.
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
Wow, Mike. If I had a six left, this surely deserves one. Have a virtual one instead ******
I am not familiar with 'The Poet and The Pendulum'.
This is very vivid (and dark in many places) but I love the changes in tempo and flow. Nothing to suggest changing or adding.
Hugs
Kat
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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Wow, Mike. If I had a six left, this surely deserves one. Have a virtual one instead ******
I am not familiar with 'The Poet and The Pendulum'.
This is very vivid (and dark in many places) but I love the changes in tempo and flow. Nothing to suggest changing or adding.
Hugs
Kat
Comment Written 04-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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Thanks, Kat! I'll take that virtual six with grateful gratitude. I'm so glad you enjoyed the read :-)
Mike
Comment from Roy Merritt
The Gothic imagery was very compelling. Invoking the raven is reminiscent of Poe. I however admit that I was confused. Is this the tale of lost romance or just the realization that life is naught, but misery interspersed with moments of pure ecstasy. Perhaps I'm not as sophisticated as I might think. Still all in all I very much appreciated it.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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The Gothic imagery was very compelling. Invoking the raven is reminiscent of Poe. I however admit that I was confused. Is this the tale of lost romance or just the realization that life is naught, but misery interspersed with moments of pure ecstasy. Perhaps I'm not as sophisticated as I might think. Still all in all I very much appreciated it.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Roy. Initially this was a tale of a love taken then regained, but with a heavy dose of regret. I've left it pretty ambiguous though, in the hope that people can choose to read the details in the way they wish; always more fun :-)
Mike
Comment from chaswriter
Mike - You creat quite a vividly dark world in this poem. The first three stanzas read as if the narrator is in a dream world when he in abruptly pulled out in the fourth stanza. This is powerfully descriptive, and I can think of all sorts of situations for which this poem can be a metaphor. Well written and I enjoyed it.
Charlie
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2010
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Mike - You creat quite a vividly dark world in this poem. The first three stanzas read as if the narrator is in a dream world when he in abruptly pulled out in the fourth stanza. This is powerfully descriptive, and I can think of all sorts of situations for which this poem can be a metaphor. Well written and I enjoyed it.
Charlie
Comment Written 04-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Charlie. I'm so glad it worked for you! It's also cool that you can see the ambiguity; I thought of several interpretations as I was writing it, so I decided to leave it open like this. Thanks for the great review :-)
Mike
Comment from GregoryC
Unique style and delivery, very unusual, but it works. Though the lines are rough-hewn, they are still rhythmic, confident and distinctive. The verse grounds the reader in the sensual experience of a dark, mysterious wood. The language stands firm and we are deeply convinced.
Gregory
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2010
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Unique style and delivery, very unusual, but it works. Though the lines are rough-hewn, they are still rhythmic, confident and distinctive. The verse grounds the reader in the sensual experience of a dark, mysterious wood. The language stands firm and we are deeply convinced.
Gregory
Comment Written 04-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Gregory. I'm glad it worked; I was a little nervous posting because of the different structure, but it was how I set out to do it and thankfully it's been well received.
Thanks again!
Mike
