Reviews from

Tantalizing Eyes

Viewing comments for Chapter 37 " Chapter 10; part three"
Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?

62 total reviews 
Comment from L.lora
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Sure perfection, especially
the play on play with Leya,
Steven and the team. Really
liked Ralph's way of settling
things and his dry sense of
humor also Matt's response
to the scenario. The descriptions
were excellent as well was the
dialogues. no nits or spags... Lora

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
    Thank you for the kind review and your support.
Comment from c_lucas
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read. Lela and Steven are beginning to show and express their feelings for each other. Very good job.
****
I re-reviewed your work and upgraded my ratings. You earned it.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
    Thank you for your report and support.
reply by c_lucas on 13-Mar-2010
    You're welcome, Barbara. Charlie
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2010
    Thank you so much for upgrading me to 6 stars. I was never notified. You are such a teddy bear, thank you again.
reply by c_lucas on 14-Mar-2010
    You are welcome.
Comment from lola29
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I think all the men are falling for Layla, but is seems she has fallen in love with Steven, or at least I hope she has. He is one in a million. Since the security system has failed, I'm wondering who has managed to get in.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
    Humm, I hadn't thought of that question. Good one. Thank you for your review and support.
Comment from Arkine
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

~L~ I'm not sure I'd want to be in her position, but I suppose the attention is probably doing wonders for her self-esteem. Great chapter! Just one thing:

"I've known Leya for twenty-three days. How could I fall in love with her so fast?["] - You missed a quotation at the end, but I really think this would be better as a thought.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
    Thank you for finding the typo. I appreciate it and for your support.
Comment from fictionwriter
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Another interesting chapter. Those guys all seem to be falling for the dark haired beauty. I wish they'd just get together all ready. Well done.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
    It will happen and very soon, not my next chapter, but the following one. Thank you for your support.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your work is so well presented, making it easy to read and understand, Barbara....most impressive.

One minor thing...

he said as he cracked the door open. - this sounds as tho he's cracked/broken the door
he said, pushing the door open a crack. - only my opinion, of course.

Good work. Margaret

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
    I will reread and take a look at that. I orginally had it pushing the door, but was afraid I had too many pushing. Thank you for the review and support.
Comment from misscookie
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like your dtory verymuch and Iloved the way it moves.
there was never a dull moment
You had my attention from the bring to the end
This is a good write.

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
reply by misscookie on 13-Mar-2010
    your welcome.
Comment from FredCollingwood
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Great story. You don't happen to have Leyla's phone number, do you? I don't have a six-pack--it's more of a keg.

Her suit clung to every curve on that gorgeous body. Her erect nipples... damn, she needed more suit. > No, no, no. Less suit!

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
    Oh dear, what am I going to do with you? Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Kashif Ali Abbas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The timely entries of characters and an awesome expression makes this a great read. The slight scenes of romance were a great add. I loved the suspenseful ending.

K

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
    Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from RazberryBullet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Long? I didn't notice. I do enjoy this story :)

Liked these lines: "I didn't ask." She closed the door. "Your eyes did." LOL!!!... Leya's opposite us and a distraction.;p..The entire volley ball game was a major hard-on. Thank heavens the water was cold.. hahahaha!

suggestion: walked toward her(.) Leya released a deep breath

As always, well done!

 Comment Written 13-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 13-Mar-2010
    Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate your support.