Premeditated
A Female Detective Discovers Husband's Secret26 total reviews
Comment from wrdtrctr
Great murder story, very clean and concise. And direct. I enjoyed it greatly though the protagonist does not garner any sympathy. Good writing.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2010
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Great murder story, very clean and concise. And direct. I enjoyed it greatly though the protagonist does not garner any sympathy. Good writing.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2010
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No, she doesn't. She is a woman scorned who had an idiot for a husband. Who would cheat on a woman who carries a gun, lol. Thanks for a great review and your comments. I appreciate them. - Thesis
Comment from warbler
This is a great story. It held my attention. I wonder if she will get away with it forever. The story is well written and built up to a great ending.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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This is a great story. It held my attention. I wonder if she will get away with it forever. The story is well written and built up to a great ending.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Hi, Warbler. I kind of hope she gets away with it. He deserved it. I guess he didn't think she was that good of a detective. Ha, ha, - WRONG. - Thesis
Comment from Realist101
unfortunately, this probably goes on more than we know. Your tale is one of emotions run amuck, and abuse of power, corruption and intrigue too. Very well done, but frightening. Susan
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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unfortunately, this probably goes on more than we know. Your tale is one of emotions run amuck, and abuse of power, corruption and intrigue too. Very well done, but frightening. Susan
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Hi, Susan. Yes it is all that, but he also deserved to get wacked. Rule number one: Don't screw around on a wife who carries a gun, lol. - Thesis
Comment from Belinda
Oh wow, I feel like watching a crime scene in CSI. She has an alibi, right. And she is a detective herself so I bet she won't be caught. Anyway you story ends and she's safe...:) Interesting.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Oh wow, I feel like watching a crime scene in CSI. She has an alibi, right. And she is a detective herself so I bet she won't be caught. Anyway you story ends and she's safe...:) Interesting.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Hi, Belinda. Thanks, it's a classic case of a woman scorned, who had a big gun and did something about it, lol. I hope she gets away with it. He deserved to be wacked. - Thesis
Comment from Cooper Watt
Solid story Thesis--yours is the last of the bunch for me to read, and definitely the best. The great majority are all about a woman being scorned/neglected/betrayed by a man in one form of sexual or manipulative deviancy, but only yours gave the added woman-as-a-cop twist. Which I liked. She not only exacts revenge, but she's a bad cop too! Love it. You got my vote.
Coop.
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Solid story Thesis--yours is the last of the bunch for me to read, and definitely the best. The great majority are all about a woman being scorned/neglected/betrayed by a man in one form of sexual or manipulative deviancy, but only yours gave the added woman-as-a-cop twist. Which I liked. She not only exacts revenge, but she's a bad cop too! Love it. You got my vote.
Coop.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Hi, Coop. You gotta love those bad women cops. Seriously, who would screw around on a wife that carried a gun for a living? He was an idiot. He deserved to be wacked, lol. - John
Comment from bookishfabler
This was a fun story and fits the photo well. I found a few things to look at.
No problem, Nicki. We'll try again tomorrow.."
(drop one period)
I paid cash for mt tolls to avoid a trail.
(I know what toles are and the easypass, but mt? what's that?
Attaching it, I loaded the weapon, putting the empty box back. Putting on my raincoat (Change opne 'putting' and then you put again in next sentence-maybe slip on the rubber gloves)
(s)outh back to Atlantic City.
Back in my room(,) I waited patiently to
I sort of expected something to snag her up at the end. Maybe a part two.
hugs
book
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This was a fun story and fits the photo well. I found a few things to look at.
No problem, Nicki. We'll try again tomorrow.."
(drop one period)
I paid cash for mt tolls to avoid a trail.
(I know what toles are and the easypass, but mt? what's that?
Attaching it, I loaded the weapon, putting the empty box back. Putting on my raincoat (Change opne 'putting' and then you put again in next sentence-maybe slip on the rubber gloves)
(s)outh back to Atlantic City.
Back in my room(,) I waited patiently to
I sort of expected something to snag her up at the end. Maybe a part two.
hugs
book
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
Comment from Jonez08
John, are you speaking from experience here?lol, Great story, god knows the husband deserved exactly what he got. Loved the ending. Thanks for joining the contest. Good luck
I called the hotels on my list for information. Six hotels refused to provide any.
(for smoother flow and less words, I suggest combining these. (I called the hotels on my list, but six refused to provide any information)
I poured myself a glass( ) and unscrewed the silencer, putting it in my pocket,
(what did you pour a glass of milk, wine or what)
Thank you. You've done so much already."
(lol...isn't that the truth)
Cassandra
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John, are you speaking from experience here?lol, Great story, god knows the husband deserved exactly what he got. Loved the ending. Thanks for joining the contest. Good luck
I called the hotels on my list for information. Six hotels refused to provide any.
(for smoother flow and less words, I suggest combining these. (I called the hotels on my list, but six refused to provide any information)
I poured myself a glass( ) and unscrewed the silencer, putting it in my pocket,
(what did you pour a glass of milk, wine or what)
Thank you. You've done so much already."
(lol...isn't that the truth)
Cassandra
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
Comment from fionageorge
This is a good story, moving at a good pace, and the plan is very clever, although I thought the ending a bit predictable. But the way it has been written is excellent, with great dialogue and the internal thought processes.
The story moved at a good pace, and I enjoyed the read.
Good luck in the contest.
Warmest regards
Marijke
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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This is a good story, moving at a good pace, and the plan is very clever, although I thought the ending a bit predictable. But the way it has been written is excellent, with great dialogue and the internal thought processes.
The story moved at a good pace, and I enjoyed the read.
Good luck in the contest.
Warmest regards
Marijke
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Hi, Marijke. Thanks for the great review. I think we all know he was going to get killed. I'm glad you liked the build-up. Thanks - John
Comment from Trybuck
They always leave a trail or something missed. Good cop gone bad, on the run for the rest of her life or until... That one little item that was missed catches up with her.
Well done, Buck
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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They always leave a trail or something missed. Good cop gone bad, on the run for the rest of her life or until... That one little item that was missed catches up with her.
Well done, Buck
Comment Written 07-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 10-Feb-2010
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Hi, Buck. I rooting for her. That bastard needed to get wacked, lol. In reality, they would catch up with her or she would resign and leave the area. - Thesis
Comment from FredCollingwood
Great story. I really enjoyed this. Comments:
I began noticing charges to Victoria's Secret and several high-end shoe designer stores, > Only a sharp detecitve would be able to be suspicious at this. Haha.
The only thing I saw was: You need spaces on each side of ellipses. e.g. shooting()...()and()...()well,
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Great story. I really enjoyed this. Comments:
I began noticing charges to Victoria's Secret and several high-end shoe designer stores, > Only a sharp detecitve would be able to be suspicious at this. Haha.
The only thing I saw was: You need spaces on each side of ellipses. e.g. shooting()...()and()...()well,
Comment Written 07-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2010
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Thank you, Fred. I edited those space issues. Lol, yeah, only a female detective would notice, especially if she didn't get the presents. - John
