Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "Chapter 8; part 3"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
56 total reviews
Comment from Queenise
Barbara, this is another wonderful chapter and I enjoyed it, as usual. The hard work that you have put into the story is clearly seen. Great storyline, pace and flow. Blessings. Queenise
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2010
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Barbara, this is another wonderful chapter and I enjoyed it, as usual. The hard work that you have put into the story is clearly seen. Great storyline, pace and flow. Blessings. Queenise
Comment Written 15-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2010
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I really appreciate you continuing reading my work. Thank you.
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You're welcome. Queenise
Comment from mshugh
and Steven watched her lay weak and helpless - not sure that this works - lying weakly?
Never knew yellow fever had a toxic stage - just learnt something
Well done
Michael
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2010
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and Steven watched her lay weak and helpless - not sure that this works - lying weakly?
Never knew yellow fever had a toxic stage - just learnt something
Well done
Michael
Comment Written 14-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2010
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Yes, it does. Thank you and I am on the mistakes.
Comment from RaymondJohn
Tense chapter,and I want to know what happens next. Unfortunately the narrative is choppy and doesn't have the necessary flow. Slow down and give us more detail. The dialog is very good, and your situation is tense. Let us enjoy it with you. Best. Ray.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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Tense chapter,and I want to know what happens next. Unfortunately the narrative is choppy and doesn't have the necessary flow. Slow down and give us more detail. The dialog is very good, and your situation is tense. Let us enjoy it with you. Best. Ray.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from chaswriter
Barbara And the tension is building. I like the Steven character and his soft side. You have a way with writing engaging dialogue. Well done.
Charlie
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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Barbara And the tension is building. I like the Steven character and his soft side. You have a way with writing engaging dialogue. Well done.
Charlie
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from apelle
fantastic chapter.
I wasn't expecting this outcome at all. Excelent written, it seemed real in the dialogue and descriptions.
Very well done.
Adina
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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fantastic chapter.
I wasn't expecting this outcome at all. Excelent written, it seemed real in the dialogue and descriptions.
Very well done.
Adina
Comment Written 09-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Kashif Ali Abbas
The most noticeable character, setven, steals the show. a determined and self-reliant character who dictates terms here. The narration is also at its best, A pleasure to read!
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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The most noticeable character, setven, steals the show. a determined and self-reliant character who dictates terms here. The narration is also at its best, A pleasure to read!
Comment Written 08-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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Thank you for your kind reviwe.
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you are welcome:)
K
Comment from Judith Ann
Your story still have my attention and interest. I am wondering how it will progress. Will Leya and Steven end up together? When will the next strike occur? Will Peggy get in the way again? Thanks for a good story. -Judy
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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Your story still have my attention and interest. I am wondering how it will progress. Will Leya and Steven end up together? When will the next strike occur? Will Peggy get in the way again? Thanks for a good story. -Judy
Comment Written 08-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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Thank you for your review. I appreciate the support.
Comment from rama devi
I really wish I'd read this from the beginning. Maybe next time. Anyway, this is a great chapter. you build up tension well with Steven's internal dialog contrasting the external action and dialog, but I sense he is growing fond of her in spite of resistance within. :)
The character development seems strong---though i have not read enough chapters to comment intelligently on plot and character development.
Dialog is excellent, sounding true to life and carrying the pace.
The hospital and ICU scene is also authentic and true to life. (I work in a hospital).
Good writing.
No spags or nits.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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I really wish I'd read this from the beginning. Maybe next time. Anyway, this is a great chapter. you build up tension well with Steven's internal dialog contrasting the external action and dialog, but I sense he is growing fond of her in spite of resistance within. :)
The character development seems strong---though i have not read enough chapters to comment intelligently on plot and character development.
Dialog is excellent, sounding true to life and carrying the pace.
The hospital and ICU scene is also authentic and true to life. (I work in a hospital).
Good writing.
No spags or nits.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 08-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from eliz100
This is another well-written chapter, as usual. This chapter was very interesting from beginning to end. The threat of death sure kept it interesting.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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This is another well-written chapter, as usual. This chapter was very interesting from beginning to end. The threat of death sure kept it interesting.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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Thank you for your review and continued support.
Comment from bookishfabler
Awe, how sweet. My teeth are hurting. LOL. This was a really quick chapter. There was a little rush in the middle when you go to this day to this day and the next day.
The doctor won't let me stay in the room with you for very long at a time, but I've been outside your room."
This doesn't sound right. baybe just take out 'at a time'
Thanks, keep them coming. I hope she gets better soon.
hugs
book
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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Awe, how sweet. My teeth are hurting. LOL. This was a really quick chapter. There was a little rush in the middle when you go to this day to this day and the next day.
The doctor won't let me stay in the room with you for very long at a time, but I've been outside your room."
This doesn't sound right. baybe just take out 'at a time'
Thanks, keep them coming. I hope she gets better soon.
hugs
book
Comment Written 08-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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Thank you. I have worried about the middle, but I needed it to show time length, but nothing really happened it would have been too soon for her to start to recover.
