Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 31 "Chapter 8; part 2"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
58 total reviews
Comment from ZigzagMLT
Nicely done. I love the whole back and forth between Steven and Leya. A little silly at times, but fun.
I guess love has him quite at the mercy of his emotions in this round.
Thanks,
Zigzagmlt
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2010
  |
Nicely done. I love the whole back and forth between Steven and Leya. A little silly at times, but fun.
I guess love has him quite at the mercy of his emotions in this round.
Thanks,
Zigzagmlt
Comment Written 28-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2010
-
Love works in strange ways. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Korton
This is a very well constructed and presented chapter. Although this is the first one I've read, I can see that there is a strong story line going on here. Very well done.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2010
|
This is a very well constructed and presented chapter. Although this is the first one I've read, I can see that there is a strong story line going on here. Very well done.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from JudithMarie
You left me wanting to read more...which is a good ending for beginning the next chapter. Your words are very expressive. There are many images and emotions created from beginning to end. Your story is coherant and reads like a true happening. I enjoyed and will be looking for the next chapter. I am glad I stopped by. JudithMarie
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2010
|
You left me wanting to read more...which is a good ending for beginning the next chapter. Your words are very expressive. There are many images and emotions created from beginning to end. Your story is coherant and reads like a true happening. I enjoyed and will be looking for the next chapter. I am glad I stopped by. JudithMarie
Comment Written 01-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2010
-
Thank you for your review.
Comment from jayhawk67
Well, it seems the beat not goes on but even gets a little stronger. This might lead to a coming out party for Steve, but just the others react remains to be seen.
Is there a fight brewing between the two women?
Godd chapter.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2010
|
Well, it seems the beat not goes on but even gets a little stronger. This might lead to a coming out party for Steve, but just the others react remains to be seen.
Is there a fight brewing between the two women?
Godd chapter.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2010
-
I'll never tell if there's a fight brewing or not. Thank you for your review.
Comment from mbroyles2
Just when I thought Leya was getting better.
I enjoyed this chapter.
The scene was set well, and we saw just a little more of the relationship between Steven and Leya.
Great descriptive prose.
Thanks for posting.
Michael
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2010
|
Just when I thought Leya was getting better.
I enjoyed this chapter.
The scene was set well, and we saw just a little more of the relationship between Steven and Leya.
Great descriptive prose.
Thanks for posting.
Michael
Comment Written 01-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Queenise
Barbara,this is another great chapter that you have written. It is very captivating and holds my attention once again in a big way. Love this book,still. Blessings. Queenise
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2010
|
Barbara,this is another great chapter that you have written. It is very captivating and holds my attention once again in a big way. Love this book,still. Blessings. Queenise
Comment Written 31-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2010
-
Thank you for your continued support and the review. I appreciate both.
-
You're welcome. Queenise
Comment from laurelp
Excellent and very well written chapter. My only comment in on the last line. The words are good but the way you put in interrupted Ralph doesn't seem to be place right. Maybe it should be at the beginning of the sentence, I'm not sure. I realize you believe the words are the important part of the sentence. It just sounds a little ackward. Still, a great read.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2010
|
Excellent and very well written chapter. My only comment in on the last line. The words are good but the way you put in interrupted Ralph doesn't seem to be place right. Maybe it should be at the beginning of the sentence, I'm not sure. I realize you believe the words are the important part of the sentence. It just sounds a little ackward. Still, a great read.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2010
-
I will recheck the words. Most of my reviews really liked it. I will rechek, I did some editing, so maybe I messed it up.
Comment from shy1250
Oh FS, I need more 6's! This was excellent--although I would amend the last line to say a real grownup takes other people's blame; women aren't exempt, but of course, with the current situation, what you wrote was more efficiently appropriate. Excelllent job of showing anger, dialogue flows beautifully, and best of all, you make us care about the characters--many an excellent plot fails just because the characters aren't known well enough to care about them. Totally deserving of the recognition. No spag, nothing to suggest, except--keep writing! later and God bless, shy
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2010
|
Oh FS, I need more 6's! This was excellent--although I would amend the last line to say a real grownup takes other people's blame; women aren't exempt, but of course, with the current situation, what you wrote was more efficiently appropriate. Excelllent job of showing anger, dialogue flows beautifully, and best of all, you make us care about the characters--many an excellent plot fails just because the characters aren't known well enough to care about them. Totally deserving of the recognition. No spag, nothing to suggest, except--keep writing! later and God bless, shy
Comment Written 31-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate it.
Comment from Laidy
i read the first par and found that this was a great next part to the chapter. i liked reading and it flowed well with each other. i thought this chapter was written well and interesting. Ralphs' last statement was pretty bold.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
|
i read the first par and found that this was a great next part to the chapter. i liked reading and it flowed well with each other. i thought this chapter was written well and interesting. Ralphs' last statement was pretty bold.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Nicnac
Oh - I like the strong emotion. I'm happy that Steven is angry and let Leya know it. It shows that he has deep feelings for her. :)
It would be nice if Leya would get angry every now and then. Not really at Steven - but at her situation, and at being cooped up. She is always so sweet and acccepting, and I think that is why Steven is so frustrated.
Suggestions:
"Could you ... please ... get me some ...." Her voice turned to a whisper, "clean underwear?" <--I'm not CERTAIN, but I think this should be: "...get me some ...," Her voice turned to a whisper, "...clean underwear?"
are weak, and attempted to do (you are weak,)
I enjoyed the whole 'panty' scene. I can't picture Leya wearing granny panties. haha It might destroy all good thoughts Steven's been having. haha
Great chapter, Barbara. :)
Nic
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
|
Oh - I like the strong emotion. I'm happy that Steven is angry and let Leya know it. It shows that he has deep feelings for her. :)
It would be nice if Leya would get angry every now and then. Not really at Steven - but at her situation, and at being cooped up. She is always so sweet and acccepting, and I think that is why Steven is so frustrated.
Suggestions:
"Could you ... please ... get me some ...." Her voice turned to a whisper, "clean underwear?" <--I'm not CERTAIN, but I think this should be: "...get me some ...," Her voice turned to a whisper, "...clean underwear?"
are weak, and attempted to do (you are weak,)
I enjoyed the whole 'panty' scene. I can't picture Leya wearing granny panties. haha It might destroy all good thoughts Steven's been having. haha
Great chapter, Barbara. :)
Nic
Comment Written 30-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2010
-
Thank you for your suggestion and I am on it. Leya does it angry and holy cow.
