Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "Chapter Eight, part 1"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
56 total reviews
Comment from jadapenn
Hi Barbara, this was a lovely chapter that moved the story forward with good dialogue and action. I'm glad Peggy is out on her ear. She's nothing but a jealous blob.
Well done. luv jada
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2010
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Hi Barbara, this was a lovely chapter that moved the story forward with good dialogue and action. I'm glad Peggy is out on her ear. She's nothing but a jealous blob.
Well done. luv jada
Comment Written 24-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2010
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Thank you so much girlfriend. I wait on pins and needles to hear from the reviewers that I know will give me an honest review and you are one of those people. Thank you for the 6 stars they mean a lot to me.
Comment from mbroyles2
I'm enjoying this story.
I love the interaction of characters.
I could fell Leya's sickness, and do hope she is feeling better. My stomach's getting queasy. :)
The dialogue is great and the pace moves along well.
Great read.
Michael
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2010
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I'm enjoying this story.
I love the interaction of characters.
I could fell Leya's sickness, and do hope she is feeling better. My stomach's getting queasy. :)
The dialogue is great and the pace moves along well.
Great read.
Michael
Comment Written 24-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2010
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Thank you for your review. I appreciate your kind words. Leya gets much worse, warning!!! (LOL)
Comment from apelle
Really worth waiting for this chapter...Awesome dynamic, flowing , fresh dialog...And the characters, memorable..
You are so skillful in developing a situation where the men are all for Leya while Peggy can do nothing but show her animosity.
Wonderful, thanks for the read
Adina
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2010
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Really worth waiting for this chapter...Awesome dynamic, flowing , fresh dialog...And the characters, memorable..
You are so skillful in developing a situation where the men are all for Leya while Peggy can do nothing but show her animosity.
Wonderful, thanks for the read
Adina
Comment Written 24-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2010
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Thank you for the kind words and the 6 stars. I really appreciate them.
Comment from ladybird
A very nice chaper, nothing to fault. Now you have us wondering what is wrong with Leya. What a cow that Peggy is, lol.I wish Leya would stand up for herself against her, put her in her place,but I guess she's done that, as it's her that Steven loves.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2010
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A very nice chaper, nothing to fault. Now you have us wondering what is wrong with Leya. What a cow that Peggy is, lol.I wish Leya would stand up for herself against her, put her in her place,but I guess she's done that, as it's her that Steven loves.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2010
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Leya has yellow fever and will struggle with it for awhile. Thank you for your review.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Readywriter52
Leya is very sick and can't be moved. When Steven talks to the men, he finds they are all willing to stay to help Leya. Only Peggy says she wants to stay because she has no choice. It appears that Matt will kick her off the team. All the men know guarding Leya will be dangerous.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2010
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Leya is very sick and can't be moved. When Steven talks to the men, he finds they are all willing to stay to help Leya. Only Peggy says she wants to stay because she has no choice. It appears that Matt will kick her off the team. All the men know guarding Leya will be dangerous.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2010
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You summed up this post very nicely. Thank you for the review.
Comment from nor84
Good dialog.
"Have the team meet in Leya's room in five minutes. It'll only last a few minutes.">>>be careful with 'it' because I don't know what you mean. What is 'it'? A meeting? A briefing? A demonstration?
"You know I'm always (a) sucker for a pretty face
Good job, Barbara.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2010
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Good dialog.
"Have the team meet in Leya's room in five minutes. It'll only last a few minutes.">>>be careful with 'it' because I don't know what you mean. What is 'it'? A meeting? A briefing? A demonstration?
"You know I'm always (a) sucker for a pretty face
Good job, Barbara.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2010
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Thank you for catching those mechanical errors. I have taken care of them. I am always honored when you drop by.
Comment from Dave M
Barbara,
This story is developing really well, and I am thoroughly enjoying it. Leya is a fine woman, and Peggy is a problem.
I enjoyed this read. I have one positive comment and one suggestion:
"Steven, since the men are putting their lives in danger for me, would you ask them if it's all right if I stay?" Here, you've made Leya even more sympathetic. She's a great character. No nits, just a comment.
"Bob grinned. "You know I'm always [a] sucker for a pretty face."
Dave
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2010
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Barbara,
This story is developing really well, and I am thoroughly enjoying it. Leya is a fine woman, and Peggy is a problem.
I enjoyed this read. I have one positive comment and one suggestion:
"Steven, since the men are putting their lives in danger for me, would you ask them if it's all right if I stay?" Here, you've made Leya even more sympathetic. She's a great character. No nits, just a comment.
"Bob grinned. "You know I'm always [a] sucker for a pretty face."
Dave
Comment Written 24-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2010
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I have already added the 'a'. Thank you for stopping by and the stars. I am very appreciative. It means a lot coming from you.
Comment from Belinda
You are so skillful in writing about a situation where the men are all for Leya while Peggy can do nothing but show her animosity. And keeping Leya mysterious for the readers, though only a little bit...:)
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2010
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You are so skillful in writing about a situation where the men are all for Leya while Peggy can do nothing but show her animosity. And keeping Leya mysterious for the readers, though only a little bit...:)
Comment Written 24-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2010
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Thank you for your review and kind words.
Comment from Kellytr
Barbara, Definitely worth waiting for. I'm really in the swing of it now and enjoying it immensely. Can't wait to see what happens next. I'm starting to wonder about Peggy's instinctive dislike of Leya. Is it just jealousy over Steven, or does she have better instincts than all these men who are putty in Leya's hands - intriguing!
Typo: Left an 'a' out, I think. "You know I'm always sucker for a pretty face."
Well done! Kelly
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2010
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Barbara, Definitely worth waiting for. I'm really in the swing of it now and enjoying it immensely. Can't wait to see what happens next. I'm starting to wonder about Peggy's instinctive dislike of Leya. Is it just jealousy over Steven, or does she have better instincts than all these men who are putty in Leya's hands - intriguing!
Typo: Left an 'a' out, I think. "You know I'm always sucker for a pretty face."
Well done! Kelly
Comment Written 23-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2010
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I have already corrected the missing 'a'. Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from Alaskastory
Chapter 30 is progressing. This portion of the story moves forward and the characters come through accurately.
I might suggest Leya shows a little more of her sickness like not smiling. I wonder if Leya was laying down or sitting in a chair or what when Peggy and the others were there.
Keep up the good work, Barbara.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2010
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Chapter 30 is progressing. This portion of the story moves forward and the characters come through accurately.
I might suggest Leya shows a little more of her sickness like not smiling. I wonder if Leya was laying down or sitting in a chair or what when Peggy and the others were there.
Keep up the good work, Barbara.
Comment Written 23-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2010
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Leya will get much worse. Thank you for your review.
