Surprise!
It's my party.......28 total reviews
Comment from pugdogy
excellent job here!!!
this story grabs the readers attention from the very beginning and holds on tight. keep up the great writing, and congrats on winning the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
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excellent job here!!!
this story grabs the readers attention from the very beginning and holds on tight. keep up the great writing, and congrats on winning the contest.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
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pugdog
I'm so pleased you enjoyed the story. I've written several thrillers recently and hope that I have the suspense down right. I appreciate yur encouraging words. Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from sierra scribbler
This was a great thriller.
The road in the picture looks like it is a dirt road- if so, then I don't think there would be screeching rubber- yes?
It might sound better if the deer runs into the road, onto sounds like it could be just on the edge, instead of getting in the drivers way. Just a thought.
You probably cold drop "great" as in great room, the second and 3rd time it is used, as you use it so close together.
Do you really need "the product of her search"
She found her cell phone, moves the story along much quicker keeping the tension.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
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This was a great thriller.
The road in the picture looks like it is a dirt road- if so, then I don't think there would be screeching rubber- yes?
It might sound better if the deer runs into the road, onto sounds like it could be just on the edge, instead of getting in the drivers way. Just a thought.
You probably cold drop "great" as in great room, the second and 3rd time it is used, as you use it so close together.
Do you really need "the product of her search"
She found her cell phone, moves the story along much quicker keeping the tension.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2010
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Sierra
Thank you for your suggestions and I most definitely will give them some thought. Appreciate the review.
Carol
Comment from Judith Ann
I really enjoy mysteries and this one was very exciting to read. You create tension and then move your character forward while the reader seems to be the only one shouting, "Stop, go home while you still can". I assume that is a mark of a good story. The ending line, "she was happy to be a widow" said it all. Nice work. -Judy
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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I really enjoy mysteries and this one was very exciting to read. You create tension and then move your character forward while the reader seems to be the only one shouting, "Stop, go home while you still can". I assume that is a mark of a good story. The ending line, "she was happy to be a widow" said it all. Nice work. -Judy
Comment Written 09-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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Judy
Thanks so much...I thought the last line said all also. So happy that you enjoyed it...Smiles, Carol
Comment from Writeaway...
Aw, I like a good scare, I can see why this won the competition, I found no spags whtsoever and was kept interested from the beginning, excellent job, keep writing!!
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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Aw, I like a good scare, I can see why this won the competition, I found no spags whtsoever and was kept interested from the beginning, excellent job, keep writing!!
Comment Written 09-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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Jake
Glad you liked this one. I thought it was enough to put goosebumps even on my arms and I was making it happen. LOL Thanks so much...Carol
Comment from knowledge
I can see why you won this contest. This superb suspense writing. It kept my interest all the way through.
Happy New Year My Friend,
Knowledge
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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I can see why you won this contest. This superb suspense writing. It kept my interest all the way through.
Happy New Year My Friend,
Knowledge
Comment Written 09-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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Knowledge
I'm thrilled you enjoyed this story. Thank you very much. Carol
Comment from Belinda
What a dramatic and suspenseful story. And the ending is the most surprising. I was expecting (though unwillingly) to have Lisa killed, but it happens that it was Johnny who dies (heart attack?). So it is indeed her party, finally. A happy widdow...
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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What a dramatic and suspenseful story. And the ending is the most surprising. I was expecting (though unwillingly) to have Lisa killed, but it happens that it was Johnny who dies (heart attack?). So it is indeed her party, finally. A happy widdow...
Comment Written 09-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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Belinda
Given the choice I was happy to let him have a heart attack...Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from skye
Dramatic, terrifying, well written, making the reader see, feel, and visualize exactly what you mean.
Your details are strong, interesting, carrying the reader throughout the story with fear and wanting to know how it turns out, and why????
Very well done.
congratulations on winning this contest.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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Dramatic, terrifying, well written, making the reader see, feel, and visualize exactly what you mean.
Your details are strong, interesting, carrying the reader throughout the story with fear and wanting to know how it turns out, and why????
Very well done.
congratulations on winning this contest.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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skye
Thank you so much. I really appreciate the kind words and the fact that you enjoyed the story. Carol
Comment from fictionwriter
this was a great story. Filled with tension and fear and making the reader as nervous as the character in the story. Very nicely done.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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this was a great story. Filled with tension and fear and making the reader as nervous as the character in the story. Very nicely done.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Joy
Thank you so much for reading it...I think I'm done with the blind stuff..I hardly had any reviews and I thought it was a decent story...I am stunned by the stars, but much appreciative. Carol
Comment from Connie P
Congratulations! May I say that this is much deserved. What an exciting and compelling story! The flow is so good, the words just jumped off the page at me. Very creative approach to the "glass half full" challenge.
Connie
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Congratulations! May I say that this is much deserved. What an exciting and compelling story! The flow is so good, the words just jumped off the page at me. Very creative approach to the "glass half full" challenge.
Connie
Comment Written 08-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Connie
Thanks so much for the kind and generous review. I so appreciate it. Carol
Comment from BJean
This would be a horrible situation to be in. It gives me the chills thinking about it. Sad that so many times, it ends up that you don't even know the person you married. Good written story, but with a very sad ending. Love, Jean
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2010
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This would be a horrible situation to be in. It gives me the chills thinking about it. Sad that so many times, it ends up that you don't even know the person you married. Good written story, but with a very sad ending. Love, Jean
Comment Written 07-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2010
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Jean
Agreed! She was willing to walk away but he was too self centered and wanted it all to himself regardless of the cost...Wonder if he thought death was worth it? Glad you enjoyed the story and I appreciate the comments. Smiles to you...
