Blue Moon Forever
contest entry5 total reviews
Comment from AnnaLinda
yeltel,
This is a most excellent poem and entry for the contest! I like your modern composition of thoughts on the moon, your rhymes and your presentation.
Linda
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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yeltel,
This is a most excellent poem and entry for the contest! I like your modern composition of thoughts on the moon, your rhymes and your presentation.
Linda
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2010
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Thank you, Linda,
You are good for my ego! (lol). Yes, I love the topic of the Moon and never tire to pay the tribute to the magic disk. I appreciate your review and compliment.
Take care, love, Yelena
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You are welcome!
Comment from BJean
This isn't much of a blind contest when we come in the back door:) Very lovely personification of blue moon in your talented sonnet form. You have a varied and beautiful use of vocabulary in your poems that leaves us saying if only I could do this:) Very well done sonnet for contest. Love, Jean
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2010
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This isn't much of a blind contest when we come in the back door:) Very lovely personification of blue moon in your talented sonnet form. You have a varied and beautiful use of vocabulary in your poems that leaves us saying if only I could do this:) Very well done sonnet for contest. Love, Jean
Comment Written 03-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2010
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Thank you so much for your great review. Sonnet is my favorite form; and I've written quite a few of them for the Moon. This was contest was challenging to me. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review.
Comment from Ronni
Wow...what an astounding sonnet to the 'Blue Moon'
reflection; the compelling moon scene just captivates
one instantly. Your descriptions relaying a romantic
interlude with the moon, and all her enticements and
enchantments casts as much a spell on the reader as
it did you and so irrisistably sharing and conveying
your ardor and awe. You took us on quite an enthralling
interlude in this blue moon odyessey; and leave us with
sighs of perpetual wonderment and pleasure.
I espcially loved the lines:
She dropped her silver on my smitten face
Her lunarescent opium made me swoon
I found myself ensconed in her embrace"
Thank you for sharing this magnificent sonnet;
and best of luck in contest!!!
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2010
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Wow...what an astounding sonnet to the 'Blue Moon'
reflection; the compelling moon scene just captivates
one instantly. Your descriptions relaying a romantic
interlude with the moon, and all her enticements and
enchantments casts as much a spell on the reader as
it did you and so irrisistably sharing and conveying
your ardor and awe. You took us on quite an enthralling
interlude in this blue moon odyessey; and leave us with
sighs of perpetual wonderment and pleasure.
I espcially loved the lines:
She dropped her silver on my smitten face
Her lunarescent opium made me swoon
I found myself ensconed in her embrace"
Thank you for sharing this magnificent sonnet;
and best of luck in contest!!!
Comment Written 03-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2010
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Ronni,
Thanks for the spectacular, incredible review and your six stars. I am speechless! I am so happy it fetched such a high mark from you. The subject of the moon always fascinated me, and I rise to the challenge when her name is mentioned (smile). I am thrilled at your review and your words; thank you again, my friend!
Love, Yelena
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More than welcome..also pegged it for
"Reader's Pick too...that is my today's
Bithday gift to you! Hope it wins contest.
Comment from obsidian-angel13
A well written and enjoyable poem, and flows nicely. Well done for keeping up the rhyming scheme, though in the third stanza it might sound better to use full rhymes instead of half rhymes though that's only a suggestion.
Well done. It's a good poem.
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2010
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A well written and enjoyable poem, and flows nicely. Well done for keeping up the rhyming scheme, though in the third stanza it might sound better to use full rhymes instead of half rhymes though that's only a suggestion.
Well done. It's a good poem.
Comment Written 03-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2010
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Thank you so much for such a great review and rating. I appreciate it very much.
Comment from rama devi
Second review (five stars)
Great edits! Perfect now!
First review (four stars)
Oh, this is delightful! Such a fine entry for the contest. I think it needs a few tiny tweaks, but it has potential to be outstanding.
Great opening!
The winter Moon professed its sexy disk
and smiled at me until my being soared
"You're flirting with me! I could be at risk
to lose my head, I don't know what's in store."
Loved the rhyme pair RISK AND DISK, and the slant rhyme soared and store
Loved these lines, so well phrased:
-She dropped her silver on my smitten face
-I found myself ensconced in her embrace.
-where moon and stars had laid their lacy cloth
Some nits to note:
*I said those words to the Enchantress Moon
A bit bumpy scansion here.
*Elated am I in their atmosphere
Scansion is awkward.
*The sapphire Moon, you've won this weary soul
The word THE is so impersonal! I think this line would sound better with OH!
Oh, sapphire Moon, you've won this weary soul
*I'm yours to stay; I hea(hear) your blue bells toll!
This is almost there--do let me know if you make changes, as I'd be happy to upgrade. I imagine this will win some sixes.
Excellent!
Warm Regards,
rama devi
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2010
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Second review (five stars)
Great edits! Perfect now!
First review (four stars)
Oh, this is delightful! Such a fine entry for the contest. I think it needs a few tiny tweaks, but it has potential to be outstanding.
Great opening!
The winter Moon professed its sexy disk
and smiled at me until my being soared
"You're flirting with me! I could be at risk
to lose my head, I don't know what's in store."
Loved the rhyme pair RISK AND DISK, and the slant rhyme soared and store
Loved these lines, so well phrased:
-She dropped her silver on my smitten face
-I found myself ensconced in her embrace.
-where moon and stars had laid their lacy cloth
Some nits to note:
*I said those words to the Enchantress Moon
A bit bumpy scansion here.
*Elated am I in their atmosphere
Scansion is awkward.
*The sapphire Moon, you've won this weary soul
The word THE is so impersonal! I think this line would sound better with OH!
Oh, sapphire Moon, you've won this weary soul
*I'm yours to stay; I hea(hear) your blue bells toll!
This is almost there--do let me know if you make changes, as I'd be happy to upgrade. I imagine this will win some sixes.
Excellent!
Warm Regards,
rama devi
Comment Written 03-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 03-Jan-2010
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Rama,
Thanks for the great review. I fixes those nits, if you have to take another look. Yelena
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HI Y. I went and made second review. I know it's hard to remember not to sign your name when replying to a review for blind contest entry---I had wondered if it was you who wrote this lovely sonnet. I thought it might be. Also thought it might be Linda(bard) or Chey.
Glad you liked the suggestions!
Much love, rd
