America the Lost
Four stanzas of 5-7-511 total reviews
Comment from mrsmajor
I guess your opinion depends upon where you live, I still think America is the greatest Country on earth. Sorry you feel the way you do, but it proves we still have freedom of speech so we can't be that bad.
Citizens rights gone, not to me, have you read some of the post lately, did you not have the right to post this, were you afraid of being arrested or something. I am 75 years of age, been around a long time, it's better now than it has been for many of us.
Things have changed all around the world, some things had to change for the benefit of our safety.
We all have our opinions and so do you.
Thanks for sharing, but I strongly disagree.
I would really like to hear, exactly, how we have gone wrong.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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I guess your opinion depends upon where you live, I still think America is the greatest Country on earth. Sorry you feel the way you do, but it proves we still have freedom of speech so we can't be that bad.
Citizens rights gone, not to me, have you read some of the post lately, did you not have the right to post this, were you afraid of being arrested or something. I am 75 years of age, been around a long time, it's better now than it has been for many of us.
Things have changed all around the world, some things had to change for the benefit of our safety.
We all have our opinions and so do you.
Thanks for sharing, but I strongly disagree.
I would really like to hear, exactly, how we have gone wrong.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2010
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Thanks for taking the time to read and review my poem, and giving it a five even though you disagree. As I was brought up to respect my elders, I will not hop up on my soapbox tonight ...
have a nice evening - sherry
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You're quite welcome, you already did upon your soapbox. My age just says I have been around a little longer than you have. Perhaps seen a bit more or lived through much more. Whether I disagree or not, is no reason to give less than 5 stars, I saw no spag.
Comment from wierdgrace
wonderful entry for this contest, this says so much and so much emotional feeling, the structure is smooth to read, images strong, and no revisions I could see, good luck.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2009
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wonderful entry for this contest, this says so much and so much emotional feeling, the structure is smooth to read, images strong, and no revisions I could see, good luck.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2009
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Thanks, wierdgrace, for taking the time to read and review my poem "America the Lost". Glad you enjoyed it.
have a great day!
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Sorry this reply is so long in coming - things are a mess around here right now. None the less, thanks for taking the time to read and review my work.
have a great weekend - sherry
Comment from AnnaLinda
Hi!
I caught your poem in the voting booth and I am glad that I did. Truth spoken here in your multiple poems!
Each poem is very powerful on its own. This one is so true:
"Hear, see, speak no ill
For fear of government ire
Citizens rights gone"
You have summed it all up extremely well in your last poem as well.
You have a great presentation as well. I hope you get lots of votes!!!
Linda
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2009
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Hi!
I caught your poem in the voting booth and I am glad that I did. Truth spoken here in your multiple poems!
Each poem is very powerful on its own. This one is so true:
"Hear, see, speak no ill
For fear of government ire
Citizens rights gone"
You have summed it all up extremely well in your last poem as well.
You have a great presentation as well. I hope you get lots of votes!!!
Linda
Comment Written 29-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2009
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Hi SweetLinda - thanks for stopping in to review my poem. Glad you liked my poem(s). The contest rules didn't seem to preclude multiple stanzas (read it through a couple of times to be sure) and the words just seemed to keep flowing. The stanza you mentioned is my favorite, also.
have a great day!
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You are very welcome!
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Sorry this reply is so long in coming - things are a mess around here right now. None the less, thanks for taking the time to read and review my work.
have a great weekend - sherry
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You are welcome!
Comment from Trybuck
I'll give you a five for your effort, but not sure this one is under the guidelines even though all stanzas are 5-7-5, but I reckon the guidelines can be interpreted differently.
Good one, Buck
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2009
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I'll give you a five for your effort, but not sure this one is under the guidelines even though all stanzas are 5-7-5, but I reckon the guidelines can be interpreted differently.
Good one, Buck
Comment Written 29-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2009
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Hi Trybuck - thanks for reading and reviewing my poem. The contest rules didn't seem to preclude multiple stanzas (I read it through a couple of times to be sure) and the words just seemed to keep flowing. Thanks for allowing my interpretation of the rules not to interfer with you rating.
have a great day!
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Sorry this reply is so long in coming - things are a mess around here right now. None the less, thanks for taking the time to read and review my work.
have a great weekend - sherry
Comment from rhymer1
I award five stars, but I am not in agreement with your content. it is like you are from a different country. I admit, during the layest Bush administrawtion I felt as you do now, but I suspect the current administration is bordering on being honest and ethical.
slainte, rhymer1
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2009
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I award five stars, but I am not in agreement with your content. it is like you are from a different country. I admit, during the layest Bush administrawtion I felt as you do now, but I suspect the current administration is bordering on being honest and ethical.
slainte, rhymer1
Comment Written 29-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2009
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Hi rhymer1 - thanks for reading and reviewing my poem. The readers seem to be pretty much mixed in their agreement or disagreement, so I guess I can't be all wrong ...
have a great day !
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Sorry this reply is so long in coming - things are a mess around here right now. None the less, thanks for taking the time to read and review my work. I appreciate you giving the stars in spite of disagreement on the state of our country.
have a great weekend - sherry
Comment from skye
Wonderful set of poems....
Great style, using the haiku/senryu format effectively to show that without constant effort and vigilance, we can lose everything that makes America great.
I love the artwork.
Very well done.
Good luck in this contest.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2009
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Wonderful set of poems....
Great style, using the haiku/senryu format effectively to show that without constant effort and vigilance, we can lose everything that makes America great.
I love the artwork.
Very well done.
Good luck in this contest.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2009
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Afternoon skye - thanks for reading and reviewing my poem(s). Glad you enjoyed the read and caught the meaning behind the words.
have a great afternoon!
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Sorry this reply is so long in coming - things are a mess around here right now. None the less, thanks for taking the time to read and review my work.
have a great weekend - sherry
Comment from bnd-writenow
What a fabulous poem, fulfilling the contest requirements as far as I can see (it's the only one I've seen so far with multiple verses).
You make strong statements and present a clear and concise case, using the Haiku format, rather than writing a sentence and breaking it up by syllable count as others have done.
The piece flows and the artwork enhances your poem.
(I wonder about the syllable count in the 2nd line of the 3rd verse, but I can get 7 syllables, depending on pronunciation - or 8 with government at 3 and ire at 2!)
From a subjective viewpoint, I happen to agree with you, although that does not alter my rating of this well constructed, well crafted poem.
Bravo - and good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2009
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What a fabulous poem, fulfilling the contest requirements as far as I can see (it's the only one I've seen so far with multiple verses).
You make strong statements and present a clear and concise case, using the Haiku format, rather than writing a sentence and breaking it up by syllable count as others have done.
The piece flows and the artwork enhances your poem.
(I wonder about the syllable count in the 2nd line of the 3rd verse, but I can get 7 syllables, depending on pronunciation - or 8 with government at 3 and ire at 2!)
From a subjective viewpoint, I happen to agree with you, although that does not alter my rating of this well constructed, well crafted poem.
Bravo - and good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 29-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2009
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Thanks for taking the time to read and review my poem "America the Lost". I appreciate your comments and will take a look at the syllable count you mentioned - I think it's correct but will double-check. Could be a difference in pronunciation, as you said.
have a great afternoon!
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Sorry this reply is so long in coming - things are a mess around here right now. None the less, thanks for taking the time to read and review my work.
have a great weekend - sherry
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
I like your poem.
I see your point.
Sad, but true.
I like the image you chose, and the visual presentation as well.
I like your last stanza the best.
Good luck in the contest.
Kathryn
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2009
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I like your poem.
I see your point.
Sad, but true.
I like the image you chose, and the visual presentation as well.
I like your last stanza the best.
Good luck in the contest.
Kathryn
Comment Written 29-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2009
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Thanks, Kathryn, for taking the time to read and review my contest piece. The image is lovely, isn't it?
have a great afternoon!
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Yes, it is. And you're welcome.
And Happy New Year!
Kathryn
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Sorry this reply is so long in coming - things are a mess around here right now. None the less, thanks for taking the time to read and review my work.
have a great weekend - sherry
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You're welcome Sherry.
Kathryn
Comment from patmedium
HEY...WHAT? ... Same here, Bud... over the pond! We've got no rights since we joined Europe. Looking at this work dispassionately, however, I find it is the cry of an older generation against the accepted life of the younger. America is STILL a great country, friend... it's just that life changes... we older ones sit in the town square bemoaning that change. One day all these bright young movers and shakers will, in their turn, also sit in the town square, bewailing their youth! There, I enjoyed that! Did me good! Five stars for the pleasure of answering you! Pat.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2009
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HEY...WHAT? ... Same here, Bud... over the pond! We've got no rights since we joined Europe. Looking at this work dispassionately, however, I find it is the cry of an older generation against the accepted life of the younger. America is STILL a great country, friend... it's just that life changes... we older ones sit in the town square bemoaning that change. One day all these bright young movers and shakers will, in their turn, also sit in the town square, bewailing their youth! There, I enjoyed that! Did me good! Five stars for the pleasure of answering you! Pat.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2009
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Afternoon, Pat - thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my poem "America the Lost". I see this not so much the wail of an older generation as a piece bemoaning the loss of what our founding fathers considered the essential elements for the new country they were helping to start. So many of the things they and their generation fought for have been lost and "amended" or "interpretted" away - it is too incredibly sad. But then again, maybe you are right - my daughter does not see things the way I do. My son-in-law, however, is a few years older than she is and more historically aware. He is more in agreement with me. Anyway - thanks again for reading and thanks for the five stars!
have a great day!
P.S. Where are you from?
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I live in Yorkshire, England. I was born in Anglesey, Wales. It was a pleasure to read both your work and your answer! Pat.
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Sorry this reply is so long in coming - things are a mess around here right now. None the less, thanks for taking the time to read and review my work.
have a great weekend - sherry
Comment from obsidian-angel13
A well written poem which sadly states the truth.
It flows nicely and the structure of the stanzas stay 5, 6, 5.
Well done, it's a good poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2009
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A well written poem which sadly states the truth.
It flows nicely and the structure of the stanzas stay 5, 6, 5.
Well done, it's a good poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2009
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Thanks for reading and reviewing my poem.
have a great day - sherry
