Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Chapter 6; part 3"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
48 total reviews
Comment from Summer Falls
What a biotch! I can't stand Peggy, that no good, jealous wench. I am sending Ruby after her with her bow and arrow. I like the way Steven is protective over Leya's feelings. She really does care. Seeing her tears over the ring really was a good twist, Barb. I like this story! So glad to reconnect too!
Summer
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2010
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What a biotch! I can't stand Peggy, that no good, jealous wench. I am sending Ruby after her with her bow and arrow. I like the way Steven is protective over Leya's feelings. She really does care. Seeing her tears over the ring really was a good twist, Barb. I like this story! So glad to reconnect too!
Summer
Comment Written 27-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2010
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I hope you stay around awhile. I really miss you.
Comment from Nicnac
I'd like to smack that woman! Ugh - I've only got one nerve left and Peggy just got on it. She's over-stepping her boundaries and I don't like her.
I'm glad Steven has quit being Mr. Nice Guy to Peggy. She deserves a swift kick out of the door.
Poor Leya. She's being treated like a rag doll. I wish she would get tough and stand up for herself.
Great chapter. Once suggestion:
'he instead picked up the receiver and discussed with Matt Peggy's latest suspicions of Leya' - The wording is a little confusing. Perhaps 'and discussed Peggy's latest suspicion's of Leya with Matt' might flow smoother. ;)
Nic
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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I'd like to smack that woman! Ugh - I've only got one nerve left and Peggy just got on it. She's over-stepping her boundaries and I don't like her.
I'm glad Steven has quit being Mr. Nice Guy to Peggy. She deserves a swift kick out of the door.
Poor Leya. She's being treated like a rag doll. I wish she would get tough and stand up for herself.
Great chapter. Once suggestion:
'he instead picked up the receiver and discussed with Matt Peggy's latest suspicions of Leya' - The wording is a little confusing. Perhaps 'and discussed Peggy's latest suspicion's of Leya with Matt' might flow smoother. ;)
Nic
Comment Written 04-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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I took care of that. Where on Earth have you been. I have missed you. Wow, how long has it been 3 years??????
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A year at least. haha It was 2009 sometime wasn't it? ;)
Comment from Queenise
This is another good and intriguing chapter. Peggy is so jealous and one slimy woman. Don't trust her at all. Love the drama and action and the pace and flow of this chapter. Didn't want it to end. Blessings. Queenise
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2009
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This is another good and intriguing chapter. Peggy is so jealous and one slimy woman. Don't trust her at all. Love the drama and action and the pace and flow of this chapter. Didn't want it to end. Blessings. Queenise
Comment Written 30-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2009
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Thanky you for your review and kind words.
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You're welcome,friend. Queenise
Comment from Mengleoh67
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah!! I wish he'd sent her skanky jealous behind back to Matt! Okay I'm better now LOL sorry I get carried away.
Another excellent chapter. Great action packed pace, fabulous character interaction and dialogue! I can't wait to see what Steven has gone into town for!
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2009
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Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah!! I wish he'd sent her skanky jealous behind back to Matt! Okay I'm better now LOL sorry I get carried away.
Another excellent chapter. Great action packed pace, fabulous character interaction and dialogue! I can't wait to see what Steven has gone into town for!
Comment Written 28-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2009
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Peggy does get herself into some big trouble. Just wait. Thank you for your review.
Comment from luisestable
I had some good moments reading this, but because I have not followed all that there is of this story I cannot say much. It would be interesting to know how this would end.
I think that your prose style is not bad, but I have to read more prose from you to say more clearly about your writing abilities, especially when it comes to plot and details.
Good luck with all you do
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reply by the author on 25-Dec-2009
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I had some good moments reading this, but because I have not followed all that there is of this story I cannot say much. It would be interesting to know how this would end.
I think that your prose style is not bad, but I have to read more prose from you to say more clearly about your writing abilities, especially when it comes to plot and details.
Good luck with all you do
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2009
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thank you for your review.
Comment from bob cullen
Every time I read your work I realise my own works requires improvement. You present your work in a most professional manner.
You dialogue is never forced and your characters seem real.
In other words I can't fault any facet of your work
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2009
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Every time I read your work I realise my own works requires improvement. You present your work in a most professional manner.
You dialogue is never forced and your characters seem real.
In other words I can't fault any facet of your work
Comment Written 24-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2009
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Thank you for the wonderful compliment. I really appreciate it. I try to put myself in place of my characters and try to react as they would I have problems with the men, being a female and all, but I've raised 4 boys, so use their actions often.
Comment from psyexmachina
Great use of dialogue in this section. I am new to the series, so can't comment on how it fits in with the rest. The line about feeding the kitten seemed out of place, but without knowing whether the cat is an integral element in the novel, I can't say.
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2009
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Great use of dialogue in this section. I am new to the series, so can't comment on how it fits in with the rest. The line about feeding the kitten seemed out of place, but without knowing whether the cat is an integral element in the novel, I can't say.
Comment Written 24-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2009
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Yes, the cat is an important part, right now. Thank you for your review.
Comment from jl & bandit
another great chapter.
I always look forward to what will happen next.
I found one little error:
time for these petty games. / needs an end qoute put on it.
I hope it helps.
JL&B
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2009
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another great chapter.
I always look forward to what will happen next.
I found one little error:
time for these petty games. / needs an end qoute put on it.
I hope it helps.
JL&B
Comment Written 24-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2009
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Thank you for catching that. I appreciate your review.
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
Your story continues in good fiction writing, Barbara.
I think you present good essentials of fiction: strong characterization, dramatic action, and direct dialogue.
As your introductory notes say, Peggy works at protecting Steven from Leya.
But though it's Peggy's security job to investigate all suspects and details of spying, it seems she's a bit harsh with Leya. Jealousy does those things.
Of course the whole thing in drug wars is to endorse extremity, is it not?
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2009
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Your story continues in good fiction writing, Barbara.
I think you present good essentials of fiction: strong characterization, dramatic action, and direct dialogue.
As your introductory notes say, Peggy works at protecting Steven from Leya.
But though it's Peggy's security job to investigate all suspects and details of spying, it seems she's a bit harsh with Leya. Jealousy does those things.
Of course the whole thing in drug wars is to endorse extremity, is it not?
Comment Written 24-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2009
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Yes, it is. Thank you for your review and kind words.
Comment from mjfande
I really enjoyed reading this chapter. I love the conflict between Peggy, Steven, and Leya.
I'm a little confused with this line -
He stood by the door and fingered the band. This won't do. He grabbed his jacket and started out the front door. He stopped and called, "I'm going to town. Make sure Leya's protected."
I'm assuming there's something wrong with the ring, but not sure. You'll probably tell us in the next post anyway. I just put it out there in case you made a mistake.
I look forward to more of your writings.
Merry Christmas:)
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2009
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I really enjoyed reading this chapter. I love the conflict between Peggy, Steven, and Leya.
I'm a little confused with this line -
He stood by the door and fingered the band. This won't do. He grabbed his jacket and started out the front door. He stopped and called, "I'm going to town. Make sure Leya's protected."
I'm assuming there's something wrong with the ring, but not sure. You'll probably tell us in the next post anyway. I just put it out there in case you made a mistake.
I look forward to more of your writings.
Merry Christmas:)
Comment Written 24-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2009
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Yes, the next post explains everything. It is all part of the same chapter. I hate dividing it up, but it's too long and nobody will review it. Thank you for your review.
