Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Chapter 6; part 1"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
50 total reviews
Comment from Summer Falls
Very well written, Barbara!
Yes, it's me. Forgive me for getting so far behind, but I have been awfully busy with Galeron. I got bored with Stellar, he is just my Christmas fling. lol
Okay, back to you. I really connect with your characters and I love the way you maintain the sexual tension between Steven and Leya.
My fave is when he said "Depends." I laughed out loud.
Okay, one more chapter and I am back to the dreaded editing of Galeron. Hmmm that sounds kinda kinky. lol
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2010
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Very well written, Barbara!
Yes, it's me. Forgive me for getting so far behind, but I have been awfully busy with Galeron. I got bored with Stellar, he is just my Christmas fling. lol
Okay, back to you. I really connect with your characters and I love the way you maintain the sexual tension between Steven and Leya.
My fave is when he said "Depends." I laughed out loud.
Okay, one more chapter and I am back to the dreaded editing of Galeron. Hmmm that sounds kinda kinky. lol
Comment Written 27-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2010
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How can anyone dread being around Galeron. I would be happy to take him off your hands.
Comment from Nicnac
Catching-up time. :) Sorry I got behind during the holidays.
This is a cute, light-hearted chapter. I had a smile on my face as I read it. Poor Steven is fighting the inevitable. lol
I could picture Leya's 'girl-next-door' look.
No suggestions. Good work.
Happy New Year, Barbara!
Nic
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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Catching-up time. :) Sorry I got behind during the holidays.
This is a cute, light-hearted chapter. I had a smile on my face as I read it. Poor Steven is fighting the inevitable. lol
I could picture Leya's 'girl-next-door' look.
No suggestions. Good work.
Happy New Year, Barbara!
Nic
Comment Written 04-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2010
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I was worried about you. I am so glad you are back.
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Thank you, Barbara. :) I've been so busy with the holidays and just got back from Tennessee. It seems like I've been gone forever! lol
Comment from Mengleoh67
I'm wicked far behind in my reviewing, but I love this story so I'm trying to catch up on it quickly.
I love this chapter! The pace is a bit slower than the previous ones, but that's perfect for conveying the important interactions between Steven and Leya. The storyline is still strong and smooth and holds the readers attention throughout.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2009
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I'm wicked far behind in my reviewing, but I love this story so I'm trying to catch up on it quickly.
I love this chapter! The pace is a bit slower than the previous ones, but that's perfect for conveying the important interactions between Steven and Leya. The storyline is still strong and smooth and holds the readers attention throughout.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2009
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Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from ladybird
A very nice chapter. Is Leya trying a different tack, I wonder? The words portray the sexual chemistry between them. Steven doesn't want to give into his feelings, but how long can he resist the sexy Leya?
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2009
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A very nice chapter. Is Leya trying a different tack, I wonder? The words portray the sexual chemistry between them. Steven doesn't want to give into his feelings, but how long can he resist the sexy Leya?
Comment Written 17-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2009
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We will have to see how long Steven can resist this young lady. Thank you for your review.
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you're welcome.
Comment from Literally Literal
A very sexually charged piece of what I'm sure must be an exiting story. I have not read any previous material involving these characters so I can safely say it was well done, because I finished reading instead of clicking skip.I like the characters interaction with one another and the description of their movements. I also liked the dialogue for the most part, although i found the use of commas to be a bit excessive. Also there were a few words that rubbed me the wrong way, most notably "ignited roaring flames within his loins". Apart from the odd awkward word and the excess of commas, this is a solid piece of writing.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2009
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A very sexually charged piece of what I'm sure must be an exiting story. I have not read any previous material involving these characters so I can safely say it was well done, because I finished reading instead of clicking skip.I like the characters interaction with one another and the description of their movements. I also liked the dialogue for the most part, although i found the use of commas to be a bit excessive. Also there were a few words that rubbed me the wrong way, most notably "ignited roaring flames within his loins". Apart from the odd awkward word and the excess of commas, this is a solid piece of writing.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2009
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I wish you would be more specific about the use of commas. As vague as you left it, I have no ideas how or where to make corrections. When I receive four stars, I use is as a learning tool, but I have no idea what you are talking about. Please take time to educate me on where I need to remove commas. No one else has metioned a problem with them. Thank you for your review.
Comment from AliSmith
Nice job. STeven has sure got himself into a pickle, hasn't he. Leyla appears very self confident and assured. An interesting set of characters thrown together.
The dialgoue worked well. The tension came through. You gave enough description for me to fill in the story.
A few things to consider:
It's only wrong, if I respond - don't need the comma after wrong when connecting with an if
He feared if he did, he'd somehow, be in trouble - don't need either comma. The first replaces an understood that. The second comes between the verbs would be, separating them
He watched her every movement, as she walked - don't need a comma before as. When connecting sentences with the conjunction in the middle, you only need a comma before and, but, or, nor or for to help distingue sentences from nouns, verbs, adjective, etc that could also use those words
Overall, nice job.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2009
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Nice job. STeven has sure got himself into a pickle, hasn't he. Leyla appears very self confident and assured. An interesting set of characters thrown together.
The dialgoue worked well. The tension came through. You gave enough description for me to fill in the story.
A few things to consider:
It's only wrong, if I respond - don't need the comma after wrong when connecting with an if
He feared if he did, he'd somehow, be in trouble - don't need either comma. The first replaces an understood that. The second comes between the verbs would be, separating them
He watched her every movement, as she walked - don't need a comma before as. When connecting sentences with the conjunction in the middle, you only need a comma before and, but, or, nor or for to help distingue sentences from nouns, verbs, adjective, etc that could also use those words
Overall, nice job.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2009
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I appreciate your review and I will take care of the errors.
Comment from Freeflyer
These two do certainly have something going between then and I am sure they are as unsure as much as the readers, at this stage, at least. It is a pity all that doubt about loyalties clouds what could otherwise be an electric relationship.
Great writing.
Maz.
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2009
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These two do certainly have something going between then and I am sure they are as unsure as much as the readers, at this stage, at least. It is a pity all that doubt about loyalties clouds what could otherwise be an electric relationship.
Great writing.
Maz.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2009
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Very true. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Barbara,
Slowly catching up now. Good chapter, relieves the tensions of the previous few I think. Good conversation between Stephen and his "wife" but I suspect that the angry Peggy will have something to spoil it all.
Patrick
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2009
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Hi Barbara,
Slowly catching up now. Good chapter, relieves the tensions of the previous few I think. Good conversation between Stephen and his "wife" but I suspect that the angry Peggy will have something to spoil it all.
Patrick
Comment Written 15-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2009
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Just wait and see what Peggy has up her sleeve. Thank you for your review.
Comment from eliz100
This is so well written it just carries the reader along. The sexual tension is different and interesting. I do not see any room for improvement.
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2009
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This is so well written it just carries the reader along. The sexual tension is different and interesting. I do not see any room for improvement.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2009
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from RazberryBullet
LOL!!! Leya really had him going! ;p
Got some chuckles here: Yes, there's chemistry between us, but it's lust, not love. I know the difference.(famous last words!)...My desires are normal. Males lust after sensual women who choose to wear a bare minimum of clothes. :)
I've gotta make sure I read the next post :) I doubt Leya will come out with baggy jeans and curlers in her hair!!!
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2009
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LOL!!! Leya really had him going! ;p
Got some chuckles here: Yes, there's chemistry between us, but it's lust, not love. I know the difference.(famous last words!)...My desires are normal. Males lust after sensual women who choose to wear a bare minimum of clothes. :)
I've gotta make sure I read the next post :) I doubt Leya will come out with baggy jeans and curlers in her hair!!!
Comment Written 14-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2009
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No she sure doesn't and Steven responds. Thank you for your review.
