F@#^%n' Bernie
Vers Beaucoup (see notes)64 total reviews
Comment from jayhawk67
Thought from the title this might be an uncensored rant by a former Madoff client. Your protagonist, however, does his piracy act on a more limited, personal basis.
Client dissatisfaction should be more of a concern to a lot of lawyers. Please send a copy of this no-holds-barred work to the president of your state Bar Association.
The vers beaucoup form is totally new to me. Its form lends itself to a message that is about as subtle as a Ray Lewis tackle; at least that is the way your message comes across. Thanks for the intro.
Very good job.
Good job.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2009
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Thought from the title this might be an uncensored rant by a former Madoff client. Your protagonist, however, does his piracy act on a more limited, personal basis.
Client dissatisfaction should be more of a concern to a lot of lawyers. Please send a copy of this no-holds-barred work to the president of your state Bar Association.
The vers beaucoup form is totally new to me. Its form lends itself to a message that is about as subtle as a Ray Lewis tackle; at least that is the way your message comes across. Thanks for the intro.
Very good job.
Good job.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2009
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Thanks jayhawk, for your most detailed review.
It's nice to get a review based on the work and not some whiny rant about the language.
Your comments are appreciated.
Curt
P.S.
Are you a KU fan? I don't live too far from Lawrence.
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(Sigh). (Groan). Alas, it is so. And the Mark Mangino ordeal has been disappointing and grueling.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Very true for this poem, 'strong internal rhyme scheme'. You're version is much better than mine. I say it sounds sing songy. Very cute easy to read poem. The words flowed nicely.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009
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Very true for this poem, 'strong internal rhyme scheme'. You're version is much better than mine. I say it sounds sing songy. Very cute easy to read poem. The words flowed nicely.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009
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Thanks!
Sincerely,
Curt
Comment from Connie C
This is a fun poem to read, and your author's notes are helpful in explaining the pattern here. I'm new to poetry so it's good that you include this. Not only is your poem entertaining, but I can relate to your second stanza, in which I'm assuming the message there is that money just goes right through us these days. Nice work. Connie C
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009
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This is a fun poem to read, and your author's notes are helpful in explaining the pattern here. I'm new to poetry so it's good that you include this. Not only is your poem entertaining, but I can relate to your second stanza, in which I'm assuming the message there is that money just goes right through us these days. Nice work. Connie C
Comment Written 06-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009
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Right on all points my friend. I am having a contest on this form, so feel free to look it up!
Thank you for your thoughts,
Curt
Comment from Shirley B
Hey this was pretty good. I got the rhyhm down right away. I wasn't familar with this type of poem. You did a great job. It told a good story. Enjoyed reading it. Sure hope it wasn't a true story. :-) Happy writing, Shirley
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009
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Hey this was pretty good. I got the rhyhm down right away. I wasn't familar with this type of poem. You did a great job. It told a good story. Enjoyed reading it. Sure hope it wasn't a true story. :-) Happy writing, Shirley
Comment Written 06-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009
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Having a contest too, so feel free to join in the fun!
Thanks so much,
Curt
Comment from Susanne M. Psyris
A very interesting form which you have executed quite well, according to your notes. Great content!!! The story is just funny as all get out in a demented sort of way...lol. Loved the ending. Seems Bernie got his just deserts? Great job. Hugs and smiles, Susanne
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009
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A very interesting form which you have executed quite well, according to your notes. Great content!!! The story is just funny as all get out in a demented sort of way...lol. Loved the ending. Seems Bernie got his just deserts? Great job. Hugs and smiles, Susanne
Comment Written 06-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009
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Thanks, Susanne.
It was a fun way to say hi again and to introduce my newest contest for this form. I hope you join in the fun!
Sincerely,
Curt
Comment from joemass
G'day Curt
Well, you set yourself a difficult construction task but completed it successfully. For that, well done!
I have a whole lot of difficulties with construction poems because all too often the engineering blots out the rhythm and music which I take to be essential to poetry. The rhythm can be rap or anything else but I think it needs to be there -and I'm not sure it always is in this piece.
However, very competent work!
Joemass
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009
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G'day Curt
Well, you set yourself a difficult construction task but completed it successfully. For that, well done!
I have a whole lot of difficulties with construction poems because all too often the engineering blots out the rhythm and music which I take to be essential to poetry. The rhythm can be rap or anything else but I think it needs to be there -and I'm not sure it always is in this piece.
However, very competent work!
Joemass
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009
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Well we all have our own way of reading things. To me, it flows like melted butter, but hey, what do I know? lol
Thanks mate,
Curt
Comment from Joan E.
Hello again Curt--it's been a while and I missed your vers beaucoup. You certainly had fun with this one, and your own way gave Bernie his due. Of course, I enjoyed all the rhymes and the impetus. Welcome back.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009
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Hello again Curt--it's been a while and I missed your vers beaucoup. You certainly had fun with this one, and your own way gave Bernie his due. Of course, I enjoyed all the rhymes and the impetus. Welcome back.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009
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Thanks Joan, it's good to be back at it.
Your comments are appreciated.
Sincerely,
Curt
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
I have enjoyed reading this although I am no expert on poetry or this form. It made me chuckle, and I could easily imagine the scenes. Very pleasant read. No nits and no criticisms from me.
Warm wishes
Kat
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009
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I have enjoyed reading this although I am no expert on poetry or this form. It made me chuckle, and I could easily imagine the scenes. Very pleasant read. No nits and no criticisms from me.
Warm wishes
Kat
Comment Written 06-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009
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Thanks Kat!
Sincerely,
Curt
Comment from Eternal Muse
Oh, this was so good! I remember the Vers Beaucoup contest someone (perhaps you?) sponsored a year ago or so, and I joined that one.
This was a hilarious, so true to life, rollercoaster, about how tough it is to make it here, with no or little money; the pitfalls that await on every corner.
Loved your tongue-in-cheek tale, my favorite:
To the shops, eyed by cops near the mops,
it never stops! Cans are shifting, displays start drifting,
I'm NOT shoplifting! I protest my arrest
with zest. Where's my attorney, Bernie?
Awesome.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009
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Oh, this was so good! I remember the Vers Beaucoup contest someone (perhaps you?) sponsored a year ago or so, and I joined that one.
This was a hilarious, so true to life, rollercoaster, about how tough it is to make it here, with no or little money; the pitfalls that await on every corner.
Loved your tongue-in-cheek tale, my favorite:
To the shops, eyed by cops near the mops,
it never stops! Cans are shifting, displays start drifting,
I'm NOT shoplifting! I protest my arrest
with zest. Where's my attorney, Bernie?
Awesome.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009
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Thank you friend, and yes it was I who sponsored that contest. Good memory!
Thanks again for your thoughts,
Curt
Comment from Mark Nolan
Gday Curt Mongold , Blimey you sound like a tradie for Aussie land, with the way you dialogue ya poems. anyway well dane mate :)
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009
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Gday Curt Mongold , Blimey you sound like a tradie for Aussie land, with the way you dialogue ya poems. anyway well dane mate :)
Comment Written 06-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2009
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I've been told I would make a good Aussie, and I take that as a compliment!
Thanks mate!
Curt
