~Behind Closed Doors~
A fun erotic poem filled with hot passion....22 total reviews
Comment from Jordan Rose
Very sexy. Good imagery. It was very easy to imagine the scene occurring behind closed doors! There was one thing- The last line of the second stanza is in the first person and the rest of the poem is in the third. It did interrupt the flow of the poem. Otherwise, I thought it was very good. Good luck with the contest. Jordan
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
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Very sexy. Good imagery. It was very easy to imagine the scene occurring behind closed doors! There was one thing- The last line of the second stanza is in the first person and the rest of the poem is in the third. It did interrupt the flow of the poem. Otherwise, I thought it was very good. Good luck with the contest. Jordan
Comment Written 14-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
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Thanks so much jordan.......xoxo
Comment from AlvinTEthington
A very good and passionate description of intercourse. Fine graphic imagery. Nice alliteration in the twelfth line. The rhyme scheme abcb is generally good, but it breaks down in the penultimate stanza. Some copy editing notes:
wondrous is misspelled
passions play--would either the singular (i.e. passion's) or plural (i.e. passions') possessive work better?
Good juxtaposition of picture and poem.
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
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A very good and passionate description of intercourse. Fine graphic imagery. Nice alliteration in the twelfth line. The rhyme scheme abcb is generally good, but it breaks down in the penultimate stanza. Some copy editing notes:
wondrous is misspelled
passions play--would either the singular (i.e. passion's) or plural (i.e. passions') possessive work better?
Good juxtaposition of picture and poem.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2009
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Again I appreciate your opinions, very important to me. Thank you....xoxo
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You're welcome for the review.
Comment from Tpa
Terrific! You have given the reader a beautiful picture painted with words. Each line set the mood, thought and of course action, good luck.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
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Terrific! You have given the reader a beautiful picture painted with words. Each line set the mood, thought and of course action, good luck.
Comment Written 13-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
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Thank you so much for your great review and comment.....xoxo
Comment from sibhus
Wow, let me a catch my breath and compose my thoughts here. Umm, thats better. This has a real flair to it with some really, seriously, wonderful images that dance through the mind with a burning heat. The last couple of stnazas stumble a bit compared with the rest, but whew, what passion. Great job and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
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Wow, let me a catch my breath and compose my thoughts here. Umm, thats better. This has a real flair to it with some really, seriously, wonderful images that dance through the mind with a burning heat. The last couple of stnazas stumble a bit compared with the rest, but whew, what passion. Great job and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 12-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2009
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LOL....I am very happy you enjoyed this. Thanks fo commenting and the high review.......xoxo
Comment from Hitcher
I do enjoy woman on top and in control! ha ha. The visuals are great and a treat to the minds eye and I love that the dance begins all over again, AS IT SHOULD!! ha ha. Good luck friend.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2009
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I do enjoy woman on top and in control! ha ha. The visuals are great and a treat to the minds eye and I love that the dance begins all over again, AS IT SHOULD!! ha ha. Good luck friend.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2009
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Thanks Hitcher for stopping by to read som eof my work. I truly appreciate that a lot and feel free to stop back in anytime. xoxo
Comment from Adri7enne
Hey, that's hot stuff, HEIDI. "Sweating bodies now entwined." Great images swirling through my mind. Gotta run. Time for my morning shower. LOL!
Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2009
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Hey, that's hot stuff, HEIDI. "Sweating bodies now entwined." Great images swirling through my mind. Gotta run. Time for my morning shower. LOL!
Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 30-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2009
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LOL...glad you liked this. Have a great day!!!! xoxo
Comment from Amfunny
Wow. What a great poem. I love it. It flows well and has great rhythm (no pun intended) and it was indeed a pleasure to read and review. Very well written. :)
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2009
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Wow. What a great poem. I love it. It flows well and has great rhythm (no pun intended) and it was indeed a pleasure to read and review. Very well written. :)
Comment Written 28-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2009
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Thank you so much.......xoxo
Comment from geemark
Hell! I wish I was that young again. The mind drools with re-emerged memories. I could actually "FEEL" the action. Great verse. Very enjoyable.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2009
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Hell! I wish I was that young again. The mind drools with re-emerged memories. I could actually "FEEL" the action. Great verse. Very enjoyable.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2009
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Thanks so much for that comment. I am glad to know I brought feelings alive..............xoxo
Comment from Vladilynn
Yes, Hot passion!! with a romantic butterflies around it!! loll
This is another passionate poem that I been read this day!!
Good luck and thank you for sharing
Love much
Lynn:0)
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2009
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Yes, Hot passion!! with a romantic butterflies around it!! loll
This is another passionate poem that I been read this day!!
Good luck and thank you for sharing
Love much
Lynn:0)
Comment Written 28-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2009
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Thank you so very much Lynn............xoxo
Comment from The Guardian
All is fine and erotic in this heated poem of lust and passion, until the final two stanzas. Then your rhyming scheme shifts and the feel is coitus interruptus. It just doesn't work with the rest of the poem and interrupts the flow and timing. Perhaps you can tweak that?
Otherwise a heated poem showing the melding of two souls.
Best,
Merle
Mouths meet in a passionate need
Wild animals ready to go again
He rises boldly above her
Wanting her body to explore
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2009
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All is fine and erotic in this heated poem of lust and passion, until the final two stanzas. Then your rhyming scheme shifts and the feel is coitus interruptus. It just doesn't work with the rest of the poem and interrupts the flow and timing. Perhaps you can tweak that?
Otherwise a heated poem showing the melding of two souls.
Best,
Merle
Mouths meet in a passionate need
Wild animals ready to go again
He rises boldly above her
Wanting her body to explore
Comment Written 27-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2009
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Thank you .........xoxo
