Legal Tendencies
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Trial & Goodbyes"Two attorney's fall in love....
30 total reviews
Comment from Rikkidoo
Very good story, well written. I enjoyed reading this and look forward to the rest of it. A couple of typos but nothing important. "bare" should be "bear" and there is an "n" missing in "the judge arrived ad sat waiting".
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2009
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Very good story, well written. I enjoyed reading this and look forward to the rest of it. A couple of typos but nothing important. "bare" should be "bear" and there is an "n" missing in "the judge arrived ad sat waiting".
Comment Written 22-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2009
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Thank you
xoxo
Comment from Josipher32
This was another well written mature fictional chapter of your book "Legal Tendencies" I am enjoying reading the book so far.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2009
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This was another well written mature fictional chapter of your book "Legal Tendencies" I am enjoying reading the book so far.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2009
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I am so glad......thank you
xoxo
Comment from jimchester
I am sure I should have something more profound to say, but I was amused at a rapist named Mr. Sprinkles. Just me, I guess. Well written and immediately engaging. I am a John Grishm fan and the coutroom scenario grabbed me. I would be interested in reading the rest of the story. Congratulations!
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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I am sure I should have something more profound to say, but I was amused at a rapist named Mr. Sprinkles. Just me, I guess. Well written and immediately engaging. I am a John Grishm fan and the coutroom scenario grabbed me. I would be interested in reading the rest of the story. Congratulations!
Comment Written 19-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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I am so glad you liked this. I appreciate your comment and review.......xoxo
Comment from Nightwind
Praise: Nicely done. Story flows. Well-thought prose, terse writing. I enjoyed reading.
Constructive thought: Perhaps more dialogue would define personalities of other characters better. Some punctuation errors.
Steven reached to give me a hug and [,] as much as I wanted to feel him, ...
...sister, Clarice [,] walk...
The judge announced the final fifteen[-] minute recess which meant it was time for deliberation ...
Praise: Creative, interesting story with, what appears to be (I haven't read the other chapters), a well-executed, complex plot. I enjoyed reading.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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Praise: Nicely done. Story flows. Well-thought prose, terse writing. I enjoyed reading.
Constructive thought: Perhaps more dialogue would define personalities of other characters better. Some punctuation errors.
Steven reached to give me a hug and [,] as much as I wanted to feel him, ...
...sister, Clarice [,] walk...
The judge announced the final fifteen[-] minute recess which meant it was time for deliberation ...
Praise: Creative, interesting story with, what appears to be (I haven't read the other chapters), a well-executed, complex plot. I enjoyed reading.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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Thank you so much for your opinion, errors found and comment. And also thanks for the high rating. I truly value this.....xoxo
Comment from kukarad70
Dear Heidixoxo,
Good to read your mature fiction, Chapter 17: Trial & Goodbyes at all. The flow of writing is much interesting and no chance to stop in between after starting to read. Simple wordings and easier sentences, any one can read and understand easily. Because of Alicia you are submitting resignation but you love Steven and feeling difficult to leave him, the subject matter is this. The sequential creativity top to bottom is matching accurately. Only I have found a simple mistake of "a unanimous" should be "an unanimous". Other everything is perfect. Take care. I will be reading your posting more and more . Thanks and regards,
Kamal
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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Dear Heidixoxo,
Good to read your mature fiction, Chapter 17: Trial & Goodbyes at all. The flow of writing is much interesting and no chance to stop in between after starting to read. Simple wordings and easier sentences, any one can read and understand easily. Because of Alicia you are submitting resignation but you love Steven and feeling difficult to leave him, the subject matter is this. The sequential creativity top to bottom is matching accurately. Only I have found a simple mistake of "a unanimous" should be "an unanimous". Other everything is perfect. Take care. I will be reading your posting more and more . Thanks and regards,
Kamal
Comment Written 19-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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I am honored that you liked this and I truly hope you do continue reading more of my story. I appreciate such a thoughtful comment with a high rating. xoxo
Comment from jmdg1954
Wow.... I ike all the sex scenes you write but now you have the opportunity to excell in other facets of your writing skill, but I await the return of the sex! Great job.... John
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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Wow.... I ike all the sex scenes you write but now you have the opportunity to excell in other facets of your writing skill, but I await the return of the sex! Great job.... John
Comment Written 18-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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LOL....I am glad you liked this. I truly appreciate the great uplift. I have never written anything like this til now so I was definitly nervous.......THANK YOU SO MUCH.....xoxo
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Very good chapter. My only caution is to watch the telling.
eight am, (Writing time to use the AM, you must use the number. 8 AM or 8:00. To use the number word, you would write eight o'clock.)
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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Very good chapter. My only caution is to watch the telling.
eight am, (Writing time to use the AM, you must use the number. 8 AM or 8:00. To use the number word, you would write eight o'clock.)
Comment Written 18-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2009
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Thank you....I seriously didnt know that......xoxo
Comment from Begin Again
Heidi
A very condensed chapter with a lot of things going on..Wonder if Steven will follow. They seemed like they loved each other so only time will tell.
You have written your thoughts very well. My only suggestion and that's a personal one...is that you use more dialogue. To show with action rather than tell...but it's your story and your choice. Only a suggestion.
Well done.
Carol
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2009
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Heidi
A very condensed chapter with a lot of things going on..Wonder if Steven will follow. They seemed like they loved each other so only time will tell.
You have written your thoughts very well. My only suggestion and that's a personal one...is that you use more dialogue. To show with action rather than tell...but it's your story and your choice. Only a suggestion.
Well done.
Carol
Comment Written 18-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2009
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Thank you so very much my friend......xoxo
Comment from MitchellScott
You did a great job with this chapter. It is written with excellent emotions and description. It didn't hold up to the "Mature Content" warning but maybe that's in the other chapters.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2009
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You did a great job with this chapter. It is written with excellent emotions and description. It didn't hold up to the "Mature Content" warning but maybe that's in the other chapters.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2009
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thank you so much my friend. The "mature" was locked in on all chapters just in case.........xoxo
Comment from Kentucky Sweet Pea
Heidi ho, my dear friend! You're a good storyteller and a better writer than most, judging by this post. I noticed one place where a semi-colon should have been used and not a comma, but other than that, it was a solid, well-constructed piece.
Pea
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2009
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Heidi ho, my dear friend! You're a good storyteller and a better writer than most, judging by this post. I noticed one place where a semi-colon should have been used and not a comma, but other than that, it was a solid, well-constructed piece.
Pea
Comment Written 18-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2009
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Thank you do the great comment and rating. I truly appreciate that a lot!!!! xoxo
