Woodland Secrets Part One
a fantasy ottava rima - see author's notes91 total reviews
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Brooke,
just your title got my immediate attention
Love to read your mystical poetry.
I can see why it took you as you said hours to compose. The ottava rima poem is not easy to compose
Yes I will be waiting to read about the magical ceremonies.
Gert
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2009
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Hello Brooke,
just your title got my immediate attention
Love to read your mystical poetry.
I can see why it took you as you said hours to compose. The ottava rima poem is not easy to compose
Yes I will be waiting to read about the magical ceremonies.
Gert
Comment Written 29-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2009
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Thank you, Gert. I'm waiting to write the ceremonies! LOL I'll get back to them tonight after I review enough to post again :-) Brooke
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Will be waiting Brooke
Gert
Comment from elcorazon
I enjoyed very much the start of your poem, the flow and rhythm was great and your descrpition of the old oak tree being knotted and gnarled was great. I could visualise your story and look forward to reading more...
All the best elcorazon.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2009
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I enjoyed very much the start of your poem, the flow and rhythm was great and your descrpition of the old oak tree being knotted and gnarled was great. I could visualise your story and look forward to reading more...
All the best elcorazon.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2009
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elacorazon, thank you :-) so glad you enjoyed this first segment :-) Brooke
Comment from legless
ahhh, my grandma believed in the cottingly fairies as she was brought up in the same village. shame how it turned out. (google if interested:))
this is a seamlessly written piece so far. i particularly like the imagery of the gnarled tree. as usual your rhymes don't seem forced and the language used fits the subject matter well.
just for romance, how about faerie instead of the more modern spelling?
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2009
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ahhh, my grandma believed in the cottingly fairies as she was brought up in the same village. shame how it turned out. (google if interested:))
this is a seamlessly written piece so far. i particularly like the imagery of the gnarled tree. as usual your rhymes don't seem forced and the language used fits the subject matter well.
just for romance, how about faerie instead of the more modern spelling?
Comment Written 29-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2009
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Legless, thank you. I will have to look up the cottingly fairies as I love all things fairy :-) Glad you like it so far :-) Brooke
Comment from Amicus
Well, this sounds like a challenging project to pursue, my friend...you will probably ottava rima yourself to death before its done :>) but good luck/best wishes etc. to you none the less.
I like the way you have begun your tale...your narrator is a not to be trusted with secrets blabber mouth gossip and its good to know this up front...Good rhymes, flawless rhythm and meter, and consistent somewhat archaic diction and phrase constructions (gladsome grace/ceremonies magical and blessed) combine to set this magical scenario somewhere and sometime else...I like the snails too but tell me why must the fairies ride these sluggish steeds when they can fly?
I'll be looking forward to your next installment...despite the fairies...because I am a brave and loyal soul (sometimes)...
Well done.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2009
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Well, this sounds like a challenging project to pursue, my friend...you will probably ottava rima yourself to death before its done :>) but good luck/best wishes etc. to you none the less.
I like the way you have begun your tale...your narrator is a not to be trusted with secrets blabber mouth gossip and its good to know this up front...Good rhymes, flawless rhythm and meter, and consistent somewhat archaic diction and phrase constructions (gladsome grace/ceremonies magical and blessed) combine to set this magical scenario somewhere and sometime else...I like the snails too but tell me why must the fairies ride these sluggish steeds when they can fly?
I'll be looking forward to your next installment...despite the fairies...because I am a brave and loyal soul (sometimes)...
Well done.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2009
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I think they ride the snails because they look super cute doing it in paintings and those resin figurines my daughter owns a bazillion of. Just hush about the whole fairy thing, my friend - this is for my precious little girl, and she is just so much more important than you are!!!! LOL
Thank you for your nice comments about all the composition stuff. You're a good sport. :-) Brooke
Comment from words
Oh, what fun.
See me clapping my hands in delight.
Just loved this bit of fun:
a caravan of snails at crawling pace.
Loved your use of form here.
It is so difficult to use form well...some get the bones of the form, but strain so making the content fit that....
Not you, my friend...the perfect marriage of form and content are your verses.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2009
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Oh, what fun.
See me clapping my hands in delight.
Just loved this bit of fun:
a caravan of snails at crawling pace.
Loved your use of form here.
It is so difficult to use form well...some get the bones of the form, but strain so making the content fit that....
Not you, my friend...the perfect marriage of form and content are your verses.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2009
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Thank you so much - with encouraging words like those, I'm motivated to write more verses - after I review enough to be able to afford posting them! LOL Brooke :-)
Comment from Phil Kitom
This is a delightful little poem that takes
me back to childhood days when starry eyed
children listened in awe to a teacher reading
the magic from colored picture books.
What ever you do though, don't tell the press
they will have the TV camera's there and
24 hour surveillance on these magic fairies.
Thanks for the memories Brooke...
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2009
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This is a delightful little poem that takes
me back to childhood days when starry eyed
children listened in awe to a teacher reading
the magic from colored picture books.
What ever you do though, don't tell the press
they will have the TV camera's there and
24 hour surveillance on these magic fairies.
Thanks for the memories Brooke...
Comment Written 29-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2009
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thank you, Dave - I can just see CNN waiting to film the ceremonies for 24 hour coverage :-) Brooke
Comment from Sunie617
You've just added me to your fan list. I have read several pieces of your work and was always left awed. This one however spoke to me the most. I look forward to the completion. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2009
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You've just added me to your fan list. I have read several pieces of your work and was always left awed. This one however spoke to me the most. I look forward to the completion. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2009
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I look forward to the completion too! LOL I just needed a break so badly. :-) Thank you so much for your most encouraging and kind comments. Brooke
Comment from perunest
I love this magical poem of sweet
fairies under the oak! I don't know
if I can promise not to tell, though,
my grandchildren would love to hear of
this wonderful place. Terrific work!
Carolyn
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2009
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I love this magical poem of sweet
fairies under the oak! I don't know
if I can promise not to tell, though,
my grandchildren would love to hear of
this wonderful place. Terrific work!
Carolyn
Comment Written 29-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2009
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Carolyn, thank you. Well, the narrator blabbed, so you might as well too! LOL Brooke
Comment from Jokenda
I do like the thought put into this, I like fairies! I also checked the format, "Perfect!" Sorry, I don't have a 6 star left. I think you deserve it just for getting the format down and the fairies just add gravy to my potatoes!
Jokenda
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2009
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I do like the thought put into this, I like fairies! I also checked the format, "Perfect!" Sorry, I don't have a 6 star left. I think you deserve it just for getting the format down and the fairies just add gravy to my potatoes!
Jokenda
Comment Written 29-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2009
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Thank you, Jokenda. You are most generous in your comments. :-) I hope you like the second segment once it is written. Brooke
Comment from Blue Danube
adewpearl:
This story/poem is fantastic.
Your imagination is positively enchanting and I can hardly wait for the next installment.
Thanks for sharing your magic with us.
Blue
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2009
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adewpearl:
This story/poem is fantastic.
Your imagination is positively enchanting and I can hardly wait for the next installment.
Thanks for sharing your magic with us.
Blue
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2009
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Blue, thank you - I can hardly wait to get up the energy to write the next installment. LOL Brooke
