Comment from Jarlsbane

Excellent

Seeing how I am coming at this after the fact with the benefit of knowing there are two more parts I am trying hard to evaluate this on its own stand alone merit but failing miserably... Why didn't you just post them all together in one form? This ends abruptly with no "conclusion" to the intense set up of sworn secrecy and oath swearing etc etc... I felt totally unfulfilled. lol
The form is great and the lines are well constructed as always so I have no nits except I don't see the reason for breaking into three parts... -Michael

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2009

As I said in my author's notes, there was NO artistic reason to post it in parts - the only reason was because I posted as I wrote, two painstaking verses at a time. LOL Had I known it would frustrate you, my darling friend, I might have just waited!!! LOL Thanks, Michael. Brooke

reply by Jarlsbane on 03-Oct-2009

no problem sweetie... i'm frustrated all the time for more reasons than poetry lol... i'll get over this :)

reply by Jarlsbane on 03-Oct-2009

by the way--- you saw my attempt at this form... three days work and two pathetic verses... they sucked

reply by the author on 03-Oct-2009

they didn't suck, just needed tweaking LOL
and that's why I only posted two verses at a time - I wanted to maintain my mental health but still post something every day. LOL

Comment from debskatz

Exceptional

Hey Brooke,

What a wonderful poem! I'm so looking forward to reading the others. The meter was perfect & the rhymes were damn near. But I loved the subject & your descriptions were just beautiful. I imagine your daughter is thrilled!!

Thank you for sharing this truly lovely poem with us!!

smiles,

deb

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2009

Thank you, Deb - your lovely comments and generous rating are a wonderful way for me to end my night - it's bed time!! :-) Brooke

Comment from Blaidd Drwg

Excellent

This is a lovely poem, Brooke, full of magical possibilities! The one things that always grabs me about your poems is your pristine word choice.

This also promises to be a fun story; looking forward to the next parts.

John

PS Just looked a the date and one more day I would have missed this gem!

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2009

Thank you, John. I'm so glad you note the word choices - there are many times I go through a dozen words before I settle on the one I believe works best in terms of meaning, meter, sound, rhyme. It is nice when someone notices :-) Brooke

Comment from Steve Pantazis

Exceptional

This is a wonderful fairy tale. Your two stanzas are sufficient, and I appreciate the hard work you put into having the structure conform with your syllable counts. You've earned a six for some time. Bon apetit!

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 02-Oct-2009

Thank you, Pantazis - you are most kind and generous and encouraging - I put lots of work into this one, so I especially appreciate the six for this poem! Brooke :-)

reply by Steve Pantazis on 02-Oct-2009

You deserve a six. The poem was finely crafted...will have some dandelion wine later to ruminate on what I shall post next on this fine site.

Comment from Wild Flower

Excellent

What this is really very sweet! I'm so glad I came back to read the others. I love your descriptions and the language is very feminine and soft. This is wonderful.

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 02-Oct-2009

Thanks, Wildflower - I appreciate your lovely review :-) Brooke

Comment from DecrepitOldBag

Excellent

Oh wonderful. Now I know that, just as I find the time to do some serious reviewing, I've got lots of Brooke-work to look forward to.

I really like the ottava rima form and you do it so well. This first poem is delightful. You've really captured a magical feel to it and the essence of secrecy too. Faultless and a delight to read.

How come you're not incredibly rich and famous, Brooke? You should be as you have such a rare talent for poetry.

Warmest wishes and hugs
Kat

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 02-Oct-2009

Thanks, Kat :-) Rich and famous - for that I would have to write spy thrillers or vampire novels or whatever the heck is the most popular right now - wish I had a flair for that because I would sell out SO FAST!!!!! :-) Brooke

Comment from PattyBee

Excellent

I reviewed your Part II so had to come back and take another look-see here.

I love these fairy-type poems and your imagery is excellent.
I would love to read this as one long piece. Why the 3 parts? Just curious.

Very nice story. Patty

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 02-Oct-2009

Thank you, Patty - I posted in three parts because I posted as I wrote - each section of two verses took a few hours to write, so I would post one section and then take a mental rest before composing the next two verses :-) Brooke

Comment from teafor2

Excellent

adewpearl--This has the feel of youthful
magic, a re-introduction (or return to a
'garden' long lost to many adults) to a
vivid world of imagination and exciting
story-telling. I am intrigued by what lies
ahead and will race to read the next install-
ment-smile. teafor2

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 02-Oct-2009

Thanks so much - I so appreciate your kindness :-) Brooke

Comment from medicnate

Excellent

Neat poem. I really like where you are going with this. I saw part three and thought, "I'd best read the first two parts first." Hehe. This is fun already and I'll read the next ones now. Great work, once again.

~medicnate~

 Comment Written 02-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 02-Oct-2009

Medicnate, I truly appreciate your reviewing all three sections - you are very thoughtful :-) Brooke

Comment from Oatmeal

Excellent

Adewpearl,

The rhyming was well done. The theme was well thought out. Telling things very plainly and comprehensibly. The flow is great. The words you chose were very professional.

I saw no SPAG and no typos. It was very clean.

I look forward to seeing you again.

Love you,

Oatmeal

 Comment Written 01-Oct-2009

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reply by the author on 01-Oct-2009

Thank you, Oatmeal, for your positive review. Brooke