Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Chapter 2 Part 5"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
37 total reviews
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is another good chapter to keep the teasing and tantalizing going on between these two characters and you did a good job developing your characters. good job
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2010
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this is another good chapter to keep the teasing and tantalizing going on between these two characters and you did a good job developing your characters. good job
Comment Written 23-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2010
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Thank you. I appreciate this.
Comment from Othello Jr.
This is good--lots of good dialogue and cues. I just got introduced to the story so I don't really know what the heck's going on, but I'll keep reading. Dialogue is action, and the punctuation and overall grammar is perfect. Way to go!
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2009
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This is good--lots of good dialogue and cues. I just got introduced to the story so I don't really know what the heck's going on, but I'll keep reading. Dialogue is action, and the punctuation and overall grammar is perfect. Way to go!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2009
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Thank you for your review. I appreciate your kind words.
Comment from Mengleoh67
I really hope she doesn't want anything bad from! I'm a hopeless sucker for a good romance. Another good transitional chapter, lots of informtion to move the storyline along to the next level.
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2009
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I really hope she doesn't want anything bad from! I'm a hopeless sucker for a good romance. Another good transitional chapter, lots of informtion to move the storyline along to the next level.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 03-Sep-2009
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Thank you. I'm happy you like it.
Comment from anabelle
The chapter looks good to me. I didn't see any spags, nor did I notice any ambiguous phrases. The writing is concise and is captivating.
I haven't read the rest, so can't judge the story, but I really liked the last sentence as a hook for this: 'captivated him and read his deepest, most private thoughts'. The end, therefore, becomes a two way street.
Regards, anabelle
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2009
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The chapter looks good to me. I didn't see any spags, nor did I notice any ambiguous phrases. The writing is concise and is captivating.
I haven't read the rest, so can't judge the story, but I really liked the last sentence as a hook for this: 'captivated him and read his deepest, most private thoughts'. The end, therefore, becomes a two way street.
Regards, anabelle
Comment Written 30-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2009
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from Summer Falls
Well, Barbara, I really do not see anything wrong with this chapter. I realize you have to break up the regular chapters and this picked up seamlessly where the other one left off. Okay, it is short, but you really can't help that. Fanstory stuff, ya know?
Okay, about Geoff. Is he another wowsie, oo-la-la? lmao.
You are keeping the tension (sexual tension? hehe) up between Steven and Leya--reading his thoughts...hehe, I am surprised she didn't lick her lips while she peered out the window. :)
Summer
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2009
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Well, Barbara, I really do not see anything wrong with this chapter. I realize you have to break up the regular chapters and this picked up seamlessly where the other one left off. Okay, it is short, but you really can't help that. Fanstory stuff, ya know?
Okay, about Geoff. Is he another wowsie, oo-la-la? lmao.
You are keeping the tension (sexual tension? hehe) up between Steven and Leya--reading his thoughts...hehe, I am surprised she didn't lick her lips while she peered out the window. :)
Summer
Comment Written 29-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2009
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Yes, Geoff is a wowsie. I have another book with him as the hero. Hey, you can't go wrong with any of the Task Force men, just depends what you like. Eric is the stinker to the bunch.
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Let's see, I like italians. I married one. yummy. Okay. anyway, we are talking about fantasy men here.
Galeron.
Comment from TillMcCauley
This was nice. I think maybe a bit short for a chapter but all in all good work. I think your characters speak loudly and believably as are thier actions. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2009
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This was nice. I think maybe a bit short for a chapter but all in all good work. I think your characters speak loudly and believably as are thier actions. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2009
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This was the end of Chapter two and the only way I could divid it so it made some since.
Comment from Laidy
i am sure she did read his deepest thoughts. i though that this was a great write and that she was wonderful. i liked how you wrote this so deep.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2009
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i am sure she did read his deepest thoughts. i though that this was a great write and that she was wonderful. i liked how you wrote this so deep.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2009
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Thank you for your review. I appreciat your kind words.
Comment from wierdgrace
Another wonderful chapter, and it is so smooth to read the characters, and the story puts the reader into the story, I loved it, so emotional, and so great. thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2009
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Another wonderful chapter, and it is so smooth to read the characters, and the story puts the reader into the story, I loved it, so emotional, and so great. thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 29-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2009
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Thank you for your review. I appreciate your continued support.
Comment from Nicnac
Ohhhh, Steven! You hot thing you.
Quit ogling that wench and come and see me... a real woman.
I'm warning you, there is something very sneaky (and skanky) about that spanish woman. You'll regret getting tangled up in that spider's web...
Great chapter, Barbara. Very interesting. Hey - this Geoff guy - what does he look like? Is he tall? Hot? Rock hard abs? Maybe I can use and abuse him to make Steven jealous. (muaaahhh)
Nic
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2009
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Ohhhh, Steven! You hot thing you.
Quit ogling that wench and come and see me... a real woman.
I'm warning you, there is something very sneaky (and skanky) about that spanish woman. You'll regret getting tangled up in that spider's web...
Great chapter, Barbara. Very interesting. Hey - this Geoff guy - what does he look like? Is he tall? Hot? Rock hard abs? Maybe I can use and abuse him to make Steven jealous. (muaaahhh)
Nic
Comment Written 29-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2009
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Yes, he's just as hot. All these men are, and I have sequals about each one. Shoot, I have one about Matt's nephew, remember Thanksgiving and shooting hoops?
Comment from Phil Kitom
My goodness this was a short chapter.
There was not a lot to comment on
other than Geoff being drugged and
take to the bedroom. There is still
and air of expectancy that something
is going to happen between Leya and Steven.
Well done...
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2009
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My goodness this was a short chapter.
There was not a lot to comment on
other than Geoff being drugged and
take to the bedroom. There is still
and air of expectancy that something
is going to happen between Leya and Steven.
Well done...
Comment Written 29-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2009
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I wanted to add it to my last post, but then that one would be too long, so I divided in the most natural spot I could. I hate dividing my chapters up, but they are too long to post and nobody would read them. Thank you
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This is such a crazy state of affairs where you have to divide a chapter up... This is the kind of thing I have just been talking about in my latest poem Reviewe'rs Dilemma
