The Quaffel Feather
An Old-Fashioned Fairy Tale68 total reviews
Comment from PatriciaLiteHickman
I did enjoy reading this Janilou! I think it's got a great & catchy title too; well written of course, uplifting; and I think you nailed the contest; best wishes in the voting booth too!
On another note, I can't remember if your goat farm is in the midwest, but I thought about you the other day and meant to PM you about several goat farms in the midwest being challenged by goat stealers of all things, and I figured I should give you a heads up if you haven't heard about it; I saw it either on CNN or on Good Morning America
Blessings, Tricia
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2009
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I did enjoy reading this Janilou! I think it's got a great & catchy title too; well written of course, uplifting; and I think you nailed the contest; best wishes in the voting booth too!
On another note, I can't remember if your goat farm is in the midwest, but I thought about you the other day and meant to PM you about several goat farms in the midwest being challenged by goat stealers of all things, and I figured I should give you a heads up if you haven't heard about it; I saw it either on CNN or on Good Morning America
Blessings, Tricia
Comment Written 07-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2009
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Thank you so much, Tricia! I'm glad you enjoyed it. We did hear about the goat nabbers, and yes, we are located in the midwest. I'm sure hoping they catch them soon!
Hugs,
Jani
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I will join you in praying these nuts get caught quickly! wonder if some dogs would help protect the herd? You can probably tell I know very little about goat farming lol, but dogs work in a lot of other areas :-) I will hold your farm in prayers and protection Jani, Blessings, Tricia
Comment from c_lucas
This is a very well written, traditional, fairy tale. There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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This is a very well written, traditional, fairy tale. There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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Thanks for the great review. :-)
Jani
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You're welcome, Jani
Comment from Steve Pantazis
Your piece is interesting, but I felt robbed of the middle. Llort suddenly appears with the feather, but I, as a reader, want a scene involving Llort's heroics. Where's the scene where Llort got the feather. I understand the word count restriction, but you should never shortchange a story because of a limitation.
A side note...
I don't know why I'm fixated on this, but "Nearly colliding" made me pause. I think if you use "Nearly knocking into", the sentence would flow better.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2009
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Your piece is interesting, but I felt robbed of the middle. Llort suddenly appears with the feather, but I, as a reader, want a scene involving Llort's heroics. Where's the scene where Llort got the feather. I understand the word count restriction, but you should never shortchange a story because of a limitation.
A side note...
I don't know why I'm fixated on this, but "Nearly colliding" made me pause. I think if you use "Nearly knocking into", the sentence would flow better.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2009
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Thank you for the review. Unfortunately, to give the reader a scene where he collects the feather would give away the secret held to the end -- that Llort is the Troll who guards the Quaffel. I'll take a look at the sentence you mention.
Thanks again,
Jani
Comment from babylonia
jani,
i definitely enjoyed reading this as much as you enjoyed writing it. made me smile and giggle. i love the moral at the end of the tale. easy to read and follow. no spaggies. imagery is excellent. good luck~
love,
barbara
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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jani,
i definitely enjoyed reading this as much as you enjoyed writing it. made me smile and giggle. i love the moral at the end of the tale. easy to read and follow. no spaggies. imagery is excellent. good luck~
love,
barbara
Comment Written 07-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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Thanks for the great review. :-)
Jani
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jani,
you are very welcome~
love,
barbara
Comment from drivenbackward
Good story, Jan. A little too literary for me, but I could still tell it was quality work. And a good conclusion, as always.
Notes to consider:
Tell us, brave soul. Is the monster dead?" --- Reads better as one sentence.
Which proves only this; those who love with pure hearts get to live in the fantasy world the rest of us may only dream of. --- 'a fantasy world' may make this read better.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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Good story, Jan. A little too literary for me, but I could still tell it was quality work. And a good conclusion, as always.
Notes to consider:
Tell us, brave soul. Is the monster dead?" --- Reads better as one sentence.
Which proves only this; those who love with pure hearts get to live in the fantasy world the rest of us may only dream of. --- 'a fantasy world' may make this read better.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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Thanks for the great review. :-) I changed those sentences.
Much appreciated.
Jani
Comment from Shirley B
This is a great story. You are right. The pure of heart always win. I could see this short story being a movie for yound children. I'm a romantic at heart and I loved it that the underdog won. The story flowed so smooothly. You did a great job. Shirley
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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This is a great story. You are right. The pure of heart always win. I could see this short story being a movie for yound children. I'm a romantic at heart and I loved it that the underdog won. The story flowed so smooothly. You did a great job. Shirley
Comment Written 06-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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Thanks for the great review. :-)
Jani
Comment from Begin Again
Janilou
A marvelous fairytale with princesses, and trolls. A lesson for everyone to learn. You wrote with ease and held the readers attention throughout. Well done!
Carol
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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Janilou
A marvelous fairytale with princesses, and trolls. A lesson for everyone to learn. You wrote with ease and held the readers attention throughout. Well done!
Carol
Comment Written 06-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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Thanks for the great review. :-)
Jani
Comment from Diny
BRAVO!_ wow jan this was a fun read and full of great lessons and the eye of the beholder type moral - Priceless!- GOOD LUCK to you I liked this one a lot- DINY
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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BRAVO!_ wow jan this was a fun read and full of great lessons and the eye of the beholder type moral - Priceless!- GOOD LUCK to you I liked this one a lot- DINY
Comment Written 06-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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Thanks for the great review. :-)
Jani
Comment from avataramaya79
This is a wonderful tale. Morals, magick, love and a quest in fewer than 700 words. Excelent job. I look forward to more of your writing.
My two favorite parts and the moral of the story: "As Your Majesty knows, real beauty does not lie in one's physical appearance, but in the heart."
The troll who looked like a prince nodded at the princess who looked like a hag, and they embraced.
Skillfully woven instructions about stereotyping and prejudices. Wonderful.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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This is a wonderful tale. Morals, magick, love and a quest in fewer than 700 words. Excelent job. I look forward to more of your writing.
My two favorite parts and the moral of the story: "As Your Majesty knows, real beauty does not lie in one's physical appearance, but in the heart."
The troll who looked like a prince nodded at the princess who looked like a hag, and they embraced.
Skillfully woven instructions about stereotyping and prejudices. Wonderful.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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I can't tell you know much I appreciate this wonderful review and the six stars. You really made my night, because reviews on this have been very mixed.
Bless your heart!
Jani
Comment from another jim
What an imaginative story. I read it BEFORE reading the ground rules, and had no idea what to expect. I was not disappointed! You managed to tell a very complex tale in less than 700 words--very impressive! Drama, adventure, humor, and one of those "awww" endings, to boot. Nice message woven throughout, as well. Nice job! Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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What an imaginative story. I read it BEFORE reading the ground rules, and had no idea what to expect. I was not disappointed! You managed to tell a very complex tale in less than 700 words--very impressive! Drama, adventure, humor, and one of those "awww" endings, to boot. Nice message woven throughout, as well. Nice job! Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2009
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2009
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Thanks for the great review. :-)
Jani
