Reviews from

My Magical Goth Fairy

A magical encounter with my future Queen

35 total reviews 
Comment from darkgreennights
Excellent
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I am going to have to kill you now. Sorry nothing personal, but first you promise graphic, then I read and you lead me to the edge and...and leave me there! Argh! Eeek!

Kathleen

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2009


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2009
    LOL, sorry< i changed it at the last minute. Just let your mind wander. Now, Lets see, a magical goth princess, naked, curves galore, the knight nursing on her breasts. Next thing you know, they are engaged in carnal bliss.

    I could go on. - Thesis
reply by darkgreennights on 22-Jul-2009
    and you should have dammit lol
Comment from DAPologe
Good
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I thought that was definitely a unique idea, and what you've written, I think, is written very well. I would actually like to have read more about this. I don't mean I want any graphic description or anything, but this feels like the climactic event to a longer story that has been left out. It would bee cool to make this a longer story in which the reader can sort of get to know the narrator a bit more and, that way, feel an emotional stake in his possible death and eventual rescue.

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2009


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2009
    Alas, that would be ideal. The truth of the matter is that it would degrade from the passion of the story. I don't want a graphic X rated event. After all Templar Knights were devout Christians. At that time it meant much more than today. What I've written is scandelous enough for the times. - Thesis
reply by DAPologe on 22-Jul-2009
    Oh no! I said I don't mean a more detailed sexual encounter, I mean more description of the narrator's history, and the battle and his possible failure. I mean I think it would be cool if the story were longer, not the sex!
Comment from apelle
Excellent
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I am not sure why this is in the adult section, I did not find anything offensive or vulgar !

It takes talent to write sexual material and maintain your dignity as a writer and you mastered that, of course as expected :)

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2009


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2009
    Thank you apelle. Last time I entered a contest, I was told that it needed a mature rating, so once bitten, twice shy. Thanks for your excellent review. I'm glad you enjoyec the story. - Thesis
Comment from Fishy
Excellent
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Fun and imaginative. It flowed well, and I had no trouble visualizing the humorous drama unfolding before me.
Your mature audience warning had me expecting mediocre writing at best. I was pleasantly surprised.
Marlin McK

 Comment Written 22-Jul-2009


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2009
    Thank you Marlin. I'm glad you enjoyed my story. I'm glad you were suprised. - Thesis
Comment from bjt6
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very interesting piece that you've written. You're right, it's not that graphic. Good entry for the contest. This certainly fits the category. I like the battle descriptions at the beginning, and how it switches tones and becomes much gentler and seductive half-way through. Great job!

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 Comment Written 22-Jul-2009


reply by the author on 22-Jul-2009
    Thank you bjt6. I'm happy that you enjoyed the story. - Thesis