Christmas Rescue
A foal is born on Christmas Morn.16 total reviews
Comment from ladybird
A very nice story. The writing is clear and concise. The storyline is original and, with a happy ending I'm pleased to say.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2009
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A very nice story. The writing is clear and concise. The storyline is original and, with a happy ending I'm pleased to say.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2009
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Good Morning Ladybird, Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, glad you liked the story. Cheers, Kay.
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You're welcome.
Comment from adewpearl
Kay, you're not using commas in direct address, to separate a person's name from what is said to that person. Kay, I like your writing. Could you please come here, Kay. That sort of thing.
What a dramatic tale of what life can throw at a person, and horses, just at the most inopportune time - I love that this Christmas foal ends up being named Storm King due to the circumstances of his most emotional birth in the elements.
This is a touching story. Excellent dialogue.
You have a bunch of sentences that could use work to avoid comma splices, but it didn't detract from reading a well-told story. Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2009
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Kay, you're not using commas in direct address, to separate a person's name from what is said to that person. Kay, I like your writing. Could you please come here, Kay. That sort of thing.
What a dramatic tale of what life can throw at a person, and horses, just at the most inopportune time - I love that this Christmas foal ends up being named Storm King due to the circumstances of his most emotional birth in the elements.
This is a touching story. Excellent dialogue.
You have a bunch of sentences that could use work to avoid comma splices, but it didn't detract from reading a well-told story. Brooke :-)
Comment Written 14-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2009
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Thank you my kind friend. I do have trouble with punctuation. I am pleased that you liked the story and will try to edit it. LOL, Kay.
Comment from samuelbrody
What a wonderful story teller you are. Your story was gripping from beginning to end. It was so very easy to read given the format chosen; with the dialogue being extremely well-written. I was caught up in the emotion of the story which took me to a level of interest that bordered on reading about an event actually happening before my eyes. I suspect the foundation of a good story writer may be can they engage the reader enough for them to make it their own. You did that; at least for me.
As far as the ending - a wonderful inspirational caveat. Thank you. Michael.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2009
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What a wonderful story teller you are. Your story was gripping from beginning to end. It was so very easy to read given the format chosen; with the dialogue being extremely well-written. I was caught up in the emotion of the story which took me to a level of interest that bordered on reading about an event actually happening before my eyes. I suspect the foundation of a good story writer may be can they engage the reader enough for them to make it their own. You did that; at least for me.
As far as the ending - a wonderful inspirational caveat. Thank you. Michael.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2009
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Hello Michael, Thanks so much for reading and reviewing; so glad that you enjoyed the story. Cheers, Kay.
Comment from sibhus
Good story, hada really good pace, and you mantain a sense of tension and unease all through it, making the reader want to find out what would happen. The writing is well crafted with a lot of nice details, that flesh out the story, and make it believable. Good job.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2009
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Good story, hada really good pace, and you mantain a sense of tension and unease all through it, making the reader want to find out what would happen. The writing is well crafted with a lot of nice details, that flesh out the story, and make it believable. Good job.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2009
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Hello sibhus, Thanks so much for reading and reviewing; so glad that you liked the story. Cheers, Kay.
Comment from AlvinTEthington
This is a very Australian story and it teaches much about Australian culture--the importance of horses, the interaction of aboriginal people and settlers, and the importance of nature. I grew up in the Arizona desert, and I know what is is like to smell rain coming closer.
A few very minor copy editing corrections:
"listen carefully Sheila--capitalize "Listen"
The drought had taken it's toll on our stock--you want the possessive "its", not the contraction "it's."
This is a good didactic story to teach people about the culture of the Australian outback. The use of Australian expressions (e.g. "srike me pink") adds an authenticity to the story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2009
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This is a very Australian story and it teaches much about Australian culture--the importance of horses, the interaction of aboriginal people and settlers, and the importance of nature. I grew up in the Arizona desert, and I know what is is like to smell rain coming closer.
A few very minor copy editing corrections:
"listen carefully Sheila--capitalize "Listen"
The drought had taken it's toll on our stock--you want the possessive "its", not the contraction "it's."
This is a good didactic story to teach people about the culture of the Australian outback. The use of Australian expressions (e.g. "srike me pink") adds an authenticity to the story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2009
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Hello Alvin, Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, picking up the mistakes; glad you liked the story. Cheers, Kay.
Comment from apelle
Excellent story telling !
The writing is very smooth and keeps up with the plot, i like how you chose words and how you keep the reader engaged in a very sweet and inspiring story.
I liked it a lot , great job !
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2009
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Excellent story telling !
The writing is very smooth and keeps up with the plot, i like how you chose words and how you keep the reader engaged in a very sweet and inspiring story.
I liked it a lot , great job !
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2009
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Hello apelle, Thanks for reading and reviewing; glad you enjoyed the story. Cheers, Kay.
